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  • Dear Hearwave,

    GO THE HECK AWAY!! This is the Northwest. It isn't suppose to be in the 90s. I don't like you. I thought I left you in Nevada and California. Go way!

    Sweating in Washington

    Dear AC in the office

    PLEASE COME BACK! I love you, why did you go away? Without you here my coworkers and I get hot and cranky. Please come back.

    Sweating in Washington

    Dear People who fix our AC,

    DIAF Then we can get a company that will fix the problem and we won't have to keep doing this. Also where the hell are you?

    Grabbing the stupid stick to hit you with
    Coffee should be strong, black and chewy! It should strip paint and frighten small children.

    My blog Darkwynd's Musings


    • Dear Semi-Delirious when I'm sleeping without my C-PAP Machine because I have Sleep Apnea self,

      Why do you chose the times I don't have the C-PAP hooked up to me to dream of Grandma? She's dead. No matter how much I wish it, she can't just show up, being all "Ta da! I'm back to being alive because I feel like it." So stop bringing her back in my dreams.

      Sad & melancholy,


      • Dear <Car Parts Store>

        I'd like to say at this point that your staff member rocked, not only did he fit my new stereo for free he also fitted the widget that meant that I can also listen to the radio (something to do with connctors...), iPod goodness in my car awaits!

        A PSA, if I may, as well as another.


        • Dear Green Rover Driver,

          I would like to point out that the speed limit on the motorways in the UK is 70mph. I would also like to point out that the average speed is 80mph, therefore your speed of 40mph on the slip road and on the main carriageway is DANGEROUS, please learn how to drive properly.

          Yours, annoyed


          Dear Blue Seat Driver,

          Don't cut me up again while we're travelling at 70(ish)mph again, else next time I might pay you a visit while I'm at work and explain to you the errors of your driving.

          Yours, annoyed


          Dear <local shop> owner,

          Thank you very much for opening half an hour early for me so I could buy some bits for work, you spotted me from the other side of the car park when I looked at the opening hours and walked away, I was very grateful else I'd had to have sat there for half an hour and listen to music instead.

          Yours, gratefully


          Dear Work,

          Why the hell do we have to buy our own carriage pouches, I know that the jackets we're supposed to use have lots of pockets but have you tried wearing them in August? No? Neither have I, as I'd rather not have heatstroke.


          Yours, annoyed

          A PSA, if I may, as well as another.


          • Dear favored former coworkers,

            I gave you guys my new address, my 2 numbers (home AND cell) AND my email address.

            You guys are slackers.

            Don't make me hop on the damn Greyhound!!! :shaking fist:

            Feeling unloved,

            Unseen but seeing
            oh dear, now they're masquerading as sane-KiaKat
            There isn't enough interpretive dance in the workplace these days-Irv
            3rd shift needs love, too
            RIP, mo bhrionglóid


            • Dear iTunes,

              Let me make this really simple for you to understand.

              Gotan, lets shake these letters around shall we? tanGo.

              That's right, Tango, the South American dance.

              So why doyou class Gotan Projct, a group that plays modern Tango with traditional instruments as electronica? Hmm


              Yours, annoyed (as I appear to have been a fair amount recently)

              A PSA, if I may, as well as another.


              • Not-So-Dear Ristorante Renato's,

                Why were you closed tighter than Fort Knox when Husband & I showed up at our appointed reservation time last night? It was our 6th anniversary yesterday (8/17 - for those keeping track ). We almost had to go hungry and cranky on our anniversary night.

                No Love,

                Dear The Melting Pot,

                You rock! Big time! We got roses, a vase, 2 $10 gift certificates to be used for future use, a picture AND a frame to put said picture in. Plus, the food was awesome! The Martinis were delicious too.

                I'm definitely coming back for my birthday! Woohoo!

                Much love,


                • Dear Voice,

                  I know I had my tonsils out last Tuesday. I'm sorry, it hurt, and it still hurts though it's getting better.

                  I'm hoping, voice, that soon you'll come back to your normal register, tone, and/or pitch.

                  Becuase right now I sound like a pixie. And pixies don't win Maniacal Laughter Contests.

                  Missing You,


                  • Dear August,

                    I hate you so much and that hate is renewed every single year. The only good thing about you is that my little guy's birthday is in August, otherwise you suck balls.

                    Hurry up and get over already!

                    Dear Stupid,

                    When BossMan tells you to keep your behind at your desk and do your work, he doesn't really mean screw off at your friend's desk. Yes, we have all seen you do it, but to do it the moment he is done telling you to get back to your desk is just down right disrespectful.

                    Also, yes, it was my real hair I use to put up in a bun, it was not fake hair, moron. The reason you don't see it today, is because I had my hair cut short on Saturday, you brain dead troll.

                    It was not because I got sick of wearing a fake bun. I was sick of having to put my hair up so it would stay out of my way.

                    Dear employees of our sister site,

                    Will you idiots please stop taking a phone number out of the dialer just because someone told you that you had the wrong number. Do you even read the notes that detail the conversations we have had with the customer at that phone number?

                    Stop being stupid I don't like having to waste time cleaning up your messes.

                    Oh, and the reason that most customers talk to us and hang up on you guys is because we don't feel the need to be rude to them.

                    Dear BossMan,

                    WTF?!? I mean really WTF?!? You bring food for a group that is not under you and don't bring any for us that are under you. We asked why and you didn't have an answer.

                    We work a hell of a lot harder than that group does and we aren't the ones screaming to our friends across the call floor, so what the hell is up with rewarding them and not us?

                    Yes, your group is still mad as hell about it
                    Do not annoy the woman with the flamethrower!

                    If you don't like it, I believe you can go to hell! ~Trinity from The Matrix

                    Yes, MadMike does live under my couch.


                    • Dear Fave Ex®'s Jeep--

                      You are the suckiest suck that ever sucked.

                      --An extremely pissed off me

                      ************************************************** *****

                      Dear L--

                      Don't you DARE ask me about the whole AM thing, because I will NOT hesitate to go off on you.

                      I consider it to be your fault.


                      ************************************************** ******

                      Dear Mom--

                      Thank you.

                      I'm bringing disdain back...with a vengeance.

                      Oh, and your tool box got out again.


                      • Chewing The Crud

                        Hello, Darlings!

                        You fucking know who you are. You are that group of male fucktards who feel as if you must lend confirmation to anything I say, simply because I am a woman and my assertion does not suffice. Worse than that, you also seem to be wholly ignorant of the definition of the word "opinion" (and, yes, women are equally notorious for their violation of this concept).

                        Don't make inquiries concerning my point of view if you are doing so with the aim of dissecting the rectitude of my personal preferences.
                        "It's not me that you hate; it's those nasty truths I serve up. Hey, man, I'm just honesty's vessel!" --Me


                        • Dear H-
                          Please please please tell me how the FUCK a grown woman can leave a candle burning on the CARPETED FLOOR, next to her BED, under a WINDOW, to go next door to drink? How could you be so FUCKING STUPID as to endanger lives that way? And then, when you're told the apartment is on FIRE, go back in, MULTIPLE FUCKING TIMES, just to get your stuff, thus endangering further the lives of those trying to get you OUT of the fucking building?! Then you have the NERVE to run off, when all of us are sitting on the curb, wondering if, because of your stupidity, we're going to lose everything? WHAT THE FUCK?!


                          Dear M,
                          I love you, more than anything in the world save for my son. I am sooo proud of you for doing what you did last night, but please Please PLEASE don't ever scare me like that again. I don't think my heart could handle watching you run back into a burning building, even if it is to get people out. You are wonderful.
                          I love you


                          Dear Louisville Fire & Rescue,
                          You guys rock! You got here faster than I imagined possible, even if it did feel like an eternity, it wasn't more than three minutes. You got the fire contained, and saved not only everything all of us in the building owned, but the lives of innocent animals that we were not able to get out of the building. You were very kind to us, and understanding when we were almost histerical with fear. You guys are heroes, really and truley and we are eternally grateful.
                          Much Love


                          Dear Guy-across-the-street.
                          Man I owe you big time. You didn't have to bring us drinks, or bring me one of your shirts. No one else did, even when they saw I couldn't breath in the corset I was stuck in, since I couldn't get into my home for a looser shirt. I can't remember your name, but if I ever need a taxi, you're totally getting my business man!


                          • Dear Self,

                            Please stop being so clumsy. Walking around today with a good cut on the bottom of my foot is going to be all sorts of awesome. Cutting it on the computer was even better. At least you managed not to bleed all over the carpets even if it took you forever to find where J keeps the bandaids.

                            Dear J,

                            You're my best friend. I'm known for being clumsy. I believe that most if not all of the bandaids in your first aid kit were used up by me at some point or another. Why do you not have a box of bandaids in your bathroom or something? I'm getting a box to stash at your place.

                            Dear teachers,

                            Thank you for bombarding me with key requests for the same 10-15 keys. Thank you also for being grumpy with me when I tell you that I have to have the key copied. Yes, this may take a day or more. We have about 5 officers who can let you into your classroom whenever you need. Their jobs are mostly opening doors and keeping fighting/clogged hallways to a minumum. Oh and by the way, they are police, not security.

                            Dear Boss,

                            Thank you . I didn't get the key organization done in time because I thought key requests would start coming in later. I've been having to finish up during whatever free points I get. This means that everything is just a little bit disorganized. Thank you for having patience with it and actually being suportive about it as well.
                            "Man, having a conversation with you is like walking through a salvador dali painting." - Mac Hall


                            • Dear American High-Voiced Male Olympic Gymnastics Sportscaster,

                              Thank you for taking my advice.

                              Gymnastics Fan

                              Dear K,

                              Lay off on the stubborn a little bit, okay? You're always frustrating, but being stubborn and contradictory was a little too much. It's one or the other: either you're right about everything, or you don't know anything. You can't have it both ways.

                              By the way, just because you went to that school for two years longer than me doesn't make you right. They did turn the lobby of the women's bathroom into a tiny little men's room and leave the women's room where it has always been, and there was never a storage closet there. (The storage closet you're thinking of is down the hall.)

                              Frustrated love,
                              All that glitters has a high refractive index.

                              The meat is rotten, but the booze is holding out.
                              -> Computer translation of "The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak."


                              • Dear various search engines and online shops,

                                As much as I support Team USA in the Olympics, I would like to find t-shirts and whatnot for other countries. Yes, I know that might make me a bit odd, but that's the way I am.

                                Why can't I find anything? My Google-fu must be broken.

                                Unseen but seeing
                                oh dear, now they're masquerading as sane-KiaKat
                                There isn't enough interpretive dance in the workplace these days-Irv
                                3rd shift needs love, too
                                RIP, mo bhrionglóid