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  • Dear mouth-breathing lazy-ass kennel staff (with a few exceptions):
    • You are only allowed to have a dog off-leash in the yard if you are the trainer. Hate to break it to you: YOU AREN'T!
    • For the love of all that is holy: NEVER take a dog out of a kennel on the side that's being cleaned. The cleaner can make them sick.
    • It takes ONE person to clean the cat room, not five. Kennel Manager told only ONE of you to do this, the rest of you get back to the kennel and finish the Goddamn playtimes!!
    • While I'm on the subject: Empty the damn cat room trash can when you finish cleaning the cat suites. It is full of used litter, it's not going to smell any better tomorrow.
    • Also, do the dogs' playtimes before the cats'. There are more of them, and the cats are the reward.
    • Yes, the managers smoke. Yes, about half the staff smokes. Yes, they take lots of little breaks throughout the day. Yes, in all fairness, you should get lots of little breaks, too. But, may I point out: The smokers (and those who go out and talk to them without smoking) clock out to have their smoky treats. YOU DIDN'T. And that's fucking unfair to those of us who don't smoke, and don't choose to sit around with our thumbs up our respective asses and instead do YOUR JOB!

    Your (not so) loving coworker.

    PS. To the kennel's answer to Ditzy Twit: Yes, you were yelled at. But you put two dogs that have/want nothing to do with each other in the same run. You did it twice. You are damned lucky that all the dogs in question aren't aggressive. Both times, it was a smaller dog with a bigger dog. One of them could have been seriously injured or killed. You will get no sympathy from me. If you thought but didn't know, ask! We will help. Really. We don't bite.

    PPS. To the kennel's answer to Numbnuts: I know jack about bird-caused injuries. However, I told you what I thought about your question (do you need a shot if a bird bites you? no). If you still aren't sure, there is a library down the road, there's a vet in the building behind us, and there is the wonderful invention of Google. If you don't have a computer at home, the managers could set you up on the on-site computers to look it up, so stop asking.

    PPPS. to the birds:
    • Sunshine: You are a vicious, nasty thing. I'm getting a scar where you bit me, and I was helping you! Bastard.
    • Sunny: WTF? You were sweet all while you were boarding, and then you bite me? That hurt, you bitch!
    • Sunny's People: I have no control over the price. My manager has no control over the price after you've paid. Calling us after your bird has boarded, you've paid, and you and bird are home, NO ONE CAN CHANGE THE PRICE! If you weren't happy about the price, ARGUE BEFORE YOU PAID! Gah.
    • Coco: No one likes you because you scream and try to eat them when they are by the time clock. I hope the manager finds you a home soon.
    • Chico: You are too cute! Would your people mind if i stole you?
    What if Humans are just Dire Halflings?


    • Dear self.

      You should have taken the whole day off and stayed having fun at the party.


      My sanity has been dripping out of me my whole life, today they turned on the faucet.....


      • Posted via Mobile Device
        "Man, having a conversation with you is like walking through a salvador dali painting." - Mac Hall


        • Dear vacation,

          I spent the first third of you hiding in the basement trying to aviod grandma so that my nerves didn't snap. I'm not full out grouchy like that often and dealing with her only gets harder as time goes by.

          At the begining of the second third I heard the news about Caleb. We used to be coworkers. He was a really good friend to J. I spent the rest of that third alternating between denile and feeling really helpless. Trying to fall asleep and not think of his bike going under the semi was hard.

          The last third has been a mix of dealing with sorting all my thoughts out while again dealing with grandma. Thank god for george today and the books i stocked up on while in maddison or I would have gone awol a couple of times by now. So I have to say, as far as vacations go, you suck...

          someone who's staying in town for a couple of months.
          "Man, having a conversation with you is like walking through a salvador dali painting." - Mac Hall


          • Dear Idiot that cut me off today,

            The New York hello is NOT the way to tell someone that you are an idiot...I had dogs in the car and was watching the road carefully. but YOU took it into your head that you just HAD to cut in front of me speeding rapidly out infront of me then slamming on your breaks cause there was a REASON I slowed down...oh yeah that speed trap with the police man sitting right there...I will not appologize for the smug grin plastered on my face as I passed you by...because its your own damn fault!

            Much hate and anger... Sarlon

            Dear Ex Boyfriend J,
            Go to hell...don't pretend that you want to get back with me because things aren't going the way you want with your current girlfriend. You were seeing her before we even broke up...don't deny it either. I will admit we hurt each other but like hell I'm gonna take the blame for moving out...I rather enjoy my sanity where it is...

            I'm wasting no more tears on you...I pity you because I wasn't what you expected you gave up on me to you never give up on your new girlfriend. I can explain that actually...your such a little child that you are afraid to be alone. don't talk to me about how much better things are...I know shes been giving you hell and you're just putting up with it.

            You called me a worthless, hypocritical, failure, who did nothing but waste your time. Funny...when we were dating you said that "I was your soul mate, and you could see us spending the rest of your life with me." Funny...I turned down 4 marriage proposals from you because each time...for the same reason nontheless, you were still in college, working a 60 hour week, and barely making ends meet. THEN you tell me you went behind my back to purchase an engagement ring....WHEN WE KNEW MONEY WAS SHORT!!!

            I'm over you...but I'm VERY sorely disappointed in you. You gave up on me, and tell me that I gave up on you...funny...I wanted to try and make things just turned a massively cold shoulder on me...then when YOU were couldn't figure out why I was being so cold and closed off to you....hmm....wonder why?!

            Your not so friendly...and still crying...EX girlfriend...
            It is by snark alone I set my mind in motion. It is by the juice of the coffee bean that thoughts acquire 'tude, the lips acquire mouthiness, the glares become a warning.


            • Dear Folks Who Have Messaged or Otherwise Tried To Contact Me,

              I'm fine. Despite how the above letter I wrote sounds, I'm not on the brink or anything. It's just a rather trying couple of dates at the moment and I'm just working through a few little things, so you don't need to worry. By next weekend, I should be back to my usual snarling, violent, half-crazed self. Thanks for the concern, though. As soon as I think I'm able to hold up my own end of a conversation, I'll see about getting back with you.

              And yeah, I do note the irony of telling myself I need to talk to people about my problems and then not wanting to talk to you guys. I just don't want to dump on ya'll when I have a perfectly useful group of folks to dump on here who know me a little better (no offense ). Otherwise, what I have to dump about would require a lot of dull explanations. But trust me, just seeing that there are folks who are willing to talk is just as good as actually talking, so your offers are very, very, VERY appreciated.

              "Maybe the problem just went away...maybe it was the magical sniper fairy that comes and gives silenced hollow point rounds to people who don't eat their vegetables."


              • Dear Becks, Rummy, and everyone else who was concerned--

                I found some sandals that I liked enough to have Mom buy me for my birthday. They cover my ugly toes enough that it looks like my pinkie toes don't exist.



                ************************************************** **************

                Dear RW--

                It's a Choo Choo Shoe!

                I'm bringing disdain back...with a vengeance.

                Oh, and your tool box got out again.


                • Dear RW,

                  I guess I gotta stock up on Jell-O.

                  Thanks for the heads up.

                  Much love,

                  Unseen but seeing
                  oh dear, now they're masquerading as sane-KiaKat
                  There isn't enough interpretive dance in the workplace these days-Irv
                  3rd shift needs love, too
                  RIP, mo bhrionglóid


                  • Dear God or whomever might be listening/reading,

                    Please save my older sister's puppy. He's only had six months on this Earth and it's just not right. She'll be devastated if she has to put him down tomorrow. Please let the news be good tomorrow.

                    Thank you,



                    • 1st half of letter might not be for squeamish or males

                      Dear Body,

                      I am on birth control pills to regulate my monthlies and to keep the pain & overly heavy flow and the clots from getting to me. No more doubling over in pain when I even think about moving and no more headaches and no more wanting to throw up! I no likey this! I thought the pills were supposed to lighten the flow, not make it so heavy and clot-y that I know when they're coming.

                      No love,

                      Dear Child,

                      Why you no take a nap? I tired! I have headache! I acting like a 5-year-old now! You better go to bed early so I can sleep too!

                      Your Mommy

                      Dear Male who come home at Midnight,

                      I think you might be my hubs. At least you seem to live in this house as you have keys to the front door and you look vaguely familiar.

                      Would you mind at least unloading the dishwasher when you come home tonight (you said you were coming home early). I'll do the rest in the morning, when (hopefully) the worst part of my period is over and I can function again.

                      Your wife,


                      • Dear E


                        When you're in the car with me my driving goes to pot, you're the only person who has this effect on me, should this be telling me something?

                        You are however betrothed and I don't like rocking the boat.

                        Oh well.

                        A PSA, if I may, as well as another.


                        • Dear Ebaying ass goblin,

                          It has been approximately a month since I bid on your auction for two rare collector's CDs that I REALLY, really wanted (and still do). In that time, I have yet to a) receive the items I paid for, and b) hear from you. Even just a "piss off" would be nice. (It WOULD piss ME off, but hey, at least I'd know you're still alive in the world) This despite the fact that I was prompt in paying with my international postal money order just like the terms of your sale stated.

                          Now I find that you are "no longer a registered seller"???? This disturbs me. I had thought that your feedback rating indicated that you were a decent businessperson type, but evidently I was wrong. I realize that the postal service up in your parts (Canada) can be wonky (a friend of mine up there has occasional trouble with her mail not getting delivered), but this is ridiculous. Especially considering that this is the SECOND time I have gotten screwed over on a CD I bought off eBay.

                          This time I'm not going to let it slide. This was for a helluva lot more money and for something that would have been special to me. I have filed an inquiry with my local post office as of this afternoon. If I find out that you have taken my money and not bothered to send me my shit, I am coming up there, high gas prices or no high gas prices, and I am hunting your ass down (I still have your address, sucker) gutting you like a fish and drinking your blood. And then I will use your entrails to decorate my Christmas tree.

                          Capische, mi amigo/amiga?

                          No love, Me
                          ~~ Every politician that opens their mouth on birth control only proves that we need more of it. ~~


                          • Dear Self,

                            The seeming end of a relationship is always a hard thing to deal with, but please stop crying, cause you actually need to get things done.

                            Lost, Sad and Confused,


                            • (Given current events...)

                              Dear Mr. Ree.

                              I've never met you, but I think your wife is awesome. Can you do me one little favor? Take care of her, OK?

                              Aerodynamics are for people who can't build engines. --Enzo Ferrari


                              • Dear new cell phone,

                                I like you already. Nice and light. Too bad you're brown, but it's almost black. Good enough for me.




                                Dear MOTH's mom,

                                If you want us to come over to your house, can you please give a hint as to WHY? I'm paranoid now.


                                Unseen but seeing
                                oh dear, now they're masquerading as sane-KiaKat
                                There isn't enough interpretive dance in the workplace these days-Irv
                                3rd shift needs love, too
                                RIP, mo bhrionglóid