Dear....

[Becks]

Dear guys working the Verizon kiosk,

Thanks for being so awesome, even after dealing with a partial invasion of the traveling lunatic asylum.

If you guys had a tip jar, I would've put some money in.

Oh, and thanks for not laughing because I got a cheap phone.

Hyper,

me

[monolayth]

Dear lottery,

When will I win you?

Tired of work,

monolayth

[Misanthropical]

Yeah, that! ^^^^^

[Amethyst Hunter]

Dear Unnamed Family Member,

It has come to my attention that you have been 'talking smack' about me, as it were, in recent months. I know why you're doing it. I also don't care. I DO care that it appears as though you are trying to fuck with me. This displeases me. Cut it out, or you're going to find out just how much of a raging flaming psycho bitch I can be. Believe me, there's plenty of things I could find to rip on about you.

Annoyed, Your Relative

[monolayth]

Dear work,

I have been asking for halloween off since august 2nd at 2:31pm.

I have not been given it off, I asked for a partial the other day but was denied because you have no hours to give that time. I tried asking co workers to work for me. I understand that you want to give me the time off and that my boss is throwing a hissyfit about this all but still. approve me! I am not going to stop till I have it off.

Several people have told me to just to call in sick, seeing as I have excellent attendance. I don't want to and I pretty much refuse to do that. I am trying to work with you on this, please work with me.

Counting down this last hour till im off (59 more mins!)
Monolayth

[Misanthropical]

After reading monolayth's last post I have to add this one.

Dear BossMan,

Thank you for letting me take Halloween off, even if you think I'm doing it only for my children's sake. The fact is, Halloween is my all time favorite holiday and I like to dress up with the kids.

One year, before I was a mom, I dressed up as Elvira...uhh...wait..nevermind. Don't want the children to know that story...so forget I said anything.

Dear BossMan,

My cane is not a toy, stop playing with it or I will beat you with it! Of course, I have joked about beating a lot of people with it, so..uh..nevermind again.

Dear regular pain specialist,

I forgot to tell you how much you rock out loud. I hope you picked up on the fact that I think when I told you we would be driving out to see you every month.

Okay, so I didn't know the place you were going was located in the big town. I am not from here, so it wasn't nice of you and my own husband to laugh at me!

Thanks for the cool cane. BossMan is letting my friend park in the closer spots (not the handicap ones, but the ones set aside for medical problems that aren't as sever as full out handicap) so I don't have to walk as far.

Dear husband,

No, I didn't get the cane, so I could look as cool as House. I doubt his would have blue flowers on it! Stop or I will beat you with my cane or at least put on the list.

[iradney]

Dear work

Thanks for not paying me on PAYDAY. My car is running on fumes, and now TTO has to catch a taxi from the airport because I will run out of gas before I get anywhere near it!

Also, I'm taking leave for a month start a week before Christmas. Approve it or else - the last time I took any significant amount of leave was in Jan/Feb of this year. I have 26 days of leave accrued that I have to take, and I don't care if you think you might land a big contract over the festive season. I have spent 3 months away from home so far this year because of you, I'm NOT spending Christmas away from my home and boyfriend.

DIAF
rads

[smileyeagle1021]

Dear Mom,
Please stop going on the defensive any time I want to have a serious conversation about my life. No matter how bad or good the news may be it's not something that you should worry about. You say you feel that I'm not open enough with you, well maybe if you weren't always closing yourself off I'd be more comfortable with being open with you.

Sincerely,
your son

[crazylegs]

Dear S

If you're flirting, or just being friendly let me know either way.

Ta Muchly

Crazylegs.

[iradney]

Dear S (see above post)

If you have any sense, you would go for it!

Meddlingly yours,

Rads

[smileyeagle1021]

Dear S,
listen to iradney, she knows what she's talking about

evesdroppingly yours,
smiley

[SengaKitty]

Dear body,
Please decide what you want to do... I know I had a little rod stuck in you that makes all my hormones go whacky, but that doesn't mean you have to flip out.... If I'm pregnant let me know.. If I'm not, let me know... But please, if I am, don't get rid of the little miracle..... That's happened too many times and I don't think I could stand it again... I know the little rod was put there to prevent little miracles from happening... But if one does happen, I'd like it to stay... K?

Beggingly yours
RHPG

[Evil Queen]

Dear M,

If I don't find out what the password is for the back computer, I will be very very pissed off.
You just wait until I figure it out and change the password on YOU. You big jerk.

Your worst computer nightmare,
-EQ



Dear Accountant,

Monies? No Monies?! Why no Monies?! Monies day today. Where Monies?!

[Misanthropical]

Dear little guy,

Where's the love? How come I don't get goodbye kisses anymore? Do you think you are too old for that now? You're older brother still gives them. You not giving me goodbye kisses makes me a sad panda.

Dear weather,

Please don't be as cold as you have been the last few days on Halloween.


Dear husband,

You say some weird stuff in your sleep. What the heck was up with "you know I love you" last night? You better have been dreaming of me or I will give you a boot to the head.


Again, dear husband,

Have we not discussed why there are certain things that the name brand must be bought? So, what is up with getting the cheap toilet paper? I told you, it has to be the one with the bears on the package and to not accept any substitutes. Don't make have to wrap all that cheap toilet paper around you.


Dear people who call during the day,

Stop calling! I don't like to talk on the phone unless I'm at work. Oh, and if you call before 10 AM, I will give you a boot to the head over the phone! Do you hear that my daughter's best friend?


Dear lawn guys,

It was 30 degrees yesterday, so why on earth would be out there mowing the lawn? It was weird.


Dear coworkers,

Yes, I have a cane, stop making a huge deal about it. No, I don't really want to give all the details about why I have to use one now. It's not like a grew another head, so stop staring and asking a bunch of questions. Weirdoes.


Again dear coworkers,

Do you guys sniff all the Splenda up your nose? I mean seriously, the break room near us will have a large amount put out and it will be gone by the time the night shift comes in. Stop hogging all the Splenda!


Dear coworker I share the desk with,

You are one strange dude! In a good way. It always makes me laugh when I come in and find what weird things you have done with the toys I put on our desk.

[draftermatt]

Dear knees,

Stop hurting so much. You were fine up until Wednesday.

Dear Cody,

You are a good dog, but what's with the chewing? I have to put you in the basement because everytime you are left to run free you chew up something. 2 remote controls, 2 teddy bears (that you thankfully didn't destroy) a toy tractor, a Swiffer duster, a coaster and lord only knows how many kleenex.

And please stop with the tearing insulation off the walls in the basement.