Dear....

[AdminAssistant]

Dear Parents,

I go back to my refuge of sanity on Saturday. Could you at least pretend to be somewhat normal til then? For me? Puh-leeeze??

~ Your Youngest

PS. Dad. You are not fooling me. Mountain Dew is not brownish-green. If you're going to disguise the bourbon I'd suggest a darker cola. And Mountain Dew with bourbon? ewewewieew

BoyThing,

I am pouncing on you Saturday. If your work tries to be a douche, if you say you're tired, I don't care. Pouncing. You have been forewarned.

I know you aren't excited about taking in a cat, but I am! Yay, kitty to play with!

If you stick around for a little longer I'll come up with a better nickname. Promise. Je t'aime.

~GirlThing

Students,

Quit your damn whining. I'm not going to tell you what grade you have to make on your final to pass or pull a C, B, or A. Not. Going. To. Do. It. QUIT ASKING!! Because I will continue to tell you the same thing - turn in a thorough well-researched project paper and study for the final. That's the secret. That's the key.

Now stop bothering me. Go away. SHOO!!!

~ Your annoyed GTA

[Misanthropical]

Dear husband,

Once again, I'm typing out an Ambien filled rant. You are going in at 5 AM for work on Black Friday. If you do not quit on that day I will not be a happy panda and if I'm not a happy panda you won't be either, get what I'm saying?

You still haven't figured out very angry I am about this, every time you leave here to go there you break another piece of my heart. How many pieces before there are none left for you break?


Dear Ambien,

How come everyone else get's the cool side effects and I don't? I don't see any hallucinations nor has God been preaching to the butter in the fridge.

I want some cool side effects other than writing rants.


Dear body,

What is with the overwhelming tiredness when I go into work. It can't be Ambien, since I take that AFTER work. I swear it's so hard to stay away at work and that is even with all the coffee I drink.


Dear little guy,

I left work hours early, because I knew you were sick and crying for me. No, I can't explain it, but I sensed it. I got home and you had a fever, so my coming home was unexpected, but needed.

I did tell work you called and wanted me home, but I didn't tell them it wasn't on the telephone. It was through the connection we have. They wouldn't have understood.

It's a link most mothers have with their children. I can tell when one of you desperately wants me to be with you to make you feel better.

No, it's not a spider sense that gets my mom senses tingling. No, it's not even the force. Well, I guess it is kind of like a force.

I was just glad to be here with you to help you feel better.


Dear BossMan,

Yes, my little guy was sick and I rushed out and forgot my medication on my desk and since I didn't want it to disappear or have to deal with pain till I could get back to work, I had to come in for a few minutes.

Don't get all weirded out that I take medications at work. If I didn't I would be in too much pain to do my job.


Dear new pain specialist,

Thank you for giving me an appointment in a timely manner and with a doctor who does the injections. I still have to wait till Dec 9th, but I'm hoping you guys do that magic you do to keep the pain away, without judging me.

I have no problem walking out if the doctor acts like a total butthead and has no problem with me suffering. Just remember, I will fight any bill tooth and nail if I am refused treatment, since the only reason I am there is for treatment, not to be treated like I'm an idiot.

You may think I'm an idiot, but it's a facade and quickly falls when someone thinks they can do and say what they want, because I'm too stupid to know any different. I'm not, don't make the mistake of assuming I'm idiot.


Dear Lifetime movie channel,

Thank you guys so much for showing The Thornbirds! I LOVE that mini serious almost as much as I like The Godfather.

[RetailWorkhorse]

Dear Guild Wars,

Just 4887 more files to go! I'M COMING FOR YOU, SERRA! JUST HOLD ON!

Spazzingly as I want to kick some Big Scary BAD GUY ASS,
Daz Mel

[iradney]

Dear *company* and Boss Formerly Of Awesome

What The Fucking Fuckedy Fuck?

Confused, Pissed Off and Down Right NOT HAPPY

Rads

[RootedPhoenix]

Dear Misanthropical,

I hope they give you your medication. You need it; it's not like it's for fun or something. You're in pain.

You may have a flamethrower if they don't give it to you, though.

--Me

(I'd never REALLY, but I hate it when they get all stupid about the meds you need.)

Dear friend,

Thank you for sharing your Thanksgiving with me. I got to eat a ton of food, play piano, laugh a lot, and just generally have a good time. It was awesome.

Much better than staring at the wall. Also, your granddaughter? (was she your granddaughter?) Total riot. And your family is gigantic. But fun. Thanks a ton.

--Me.

Dear herbal teas,

Thanks for existing.

--Me.

Dear iradney

*offers chocolate* I hate when things go wrong.
And right around the holidays too. But we still love you.

--Me.

[RetailWorkhorse]

Dear Guild Wars and ArenaNet,

For the love of my pretty little Priestess, please have a "pause" option, because my cell phone, which is my modem, isn't going to hold out for much longer and I still have 3321 files to download.

Starting to TWITCH,
Daz Mel

[RetailWorkhorse]

Dear Guild Wars adn ArenaNet,

My battery's dead. You offically suck.

-Serra's Logger

[smileyeagle1021]

Dear RW,
Do you need to borrow my phone charger

hugs and kisses
Smiley

[crazylegs]

Dear Rads,

You know how to get hold of me if you want to talk...

P

[Akasa]

Dear mouse,
I have never seen what you have done to the mouse trap done before. You even left the ham that was bait. I now know you are playing with me. (As if our battle in the kitchen as I was preparing to cook the Thanksgiving meal weren't evidence enough)
It is now obvious that you are on steroids and just for you I may have to get the even more powerful rat trap.

It is on!

Akasa

[iradney]

Dear Pooks

I'll PM you tomorrow when my grey matter is functioning a bit better
*squishies*
Rads

[RetailWorkhorse]

Dear RW,
Do you need to borrow my phone charger

hugs and kisses
Smiley

Dear Smiles,

Nah, that's okay. I think I just need a new battery. But thanks for the offer.

-Daz Mel

Dear Guild Wars and ArenaNet,

You have two hours. Do it to it, because I WILL be playing GW after work tomorrow.

-Serra's Logger

Dear Bad Guys,

Prepare for War, Bitches!

-Serra Ruso

[RetailWorkhorse]

"Dear" Guild Wars and ArenaNet,

15,707 files to download? On dial-up? ARE YOU FUCKING INSANE????

Look, jerks, I'm SORRY that I got addicted to this game.
I'm SORRY I haven't able to play for six fucking months.
I'm SORRY I dumped Tea on the one machine that had all my data on it.
I'm SORRY that I haven't been able to buy any of the expansion packs that I've wanted so desperately.
I'm SORRY I'm on Dial-up, but when EQ bought this game in the first place she said it was fine on a dial-up connection.
I'm SORRY I don't have Broadband.
I'm SORRY I can only use my cell phone as a modem.
I'm SORRY that my battery is shit.
I'm SORRY that I live someplace that has shit reception, which makes my battery work even harder, making it lose power faster.

I'M FUCKING SORRY I EVER PLAYED THIS FUCKING GAME.

Fuck. You. Fucking. Sideways.

I'm uninstalling you and giving you back to EQ, because SHE is lucky enough to have a connection that will suit you.

Serra Ruso, I'm sorry you ever had a piece of shit gamer like me to create you.

Why the royal FUUUUUUCK is EQ NEVER FUCKING ON LINE WHEN I NEED HER?????



Fuck you, ArenaNet. You fucking fucker.

I want my fucking laptop to work again. At least with him I could take him down to The House and download all this shit on a broadband connection. You're fucking heavy, Bishamon.



Pissed off,
The German Shaman.

[Evil Queen]

Dear Forumites,

Do you think RW is mad? o.O

-EQ


Dear RW,
I know you hate the game. I'm sorry. Can you understand now why I hated it? That's why I gave it to YOU.
And another thing, your new desktop weighs the same as the Sagar did, you just don't want to take it down to the house.

-EQ
I hate MMORPGs.

[Misanthropical]

Dear body,

What the heck is up with waking up with only 4 hours of sleep? I need more sleep than that! Stop it!

Also, what is up with all the nausea this morning? You know I'm not pregnant, so stop it.


Dear daughter,

I wanted to spend time with you, not have you texting your friends the whole time. Don't make me have to take your cell phone away.

Yes, I'm going to have a problem with you going to a friend's house when they throw knifes around. I don't want you to get hurt or worse. You are the only daughter I have you know.


Dear big guy,

I know you didn't really want to watch that show. You just wanted my attention. I was more than glad to give it to you. You're too sweet.


Dear little guy,

Please get better soon. I don't want to have to take you to the doctor, but if you don't start feeling better soon I will have to.


Dear husband,

Do not let that little bitch ring up your sales. You know she is putting it down as her sale. If I find out she does it again I will go down and kick her ass.

You do look hot in black casual wear, but I'm not going to tell you that, because you will take it that I approve of the second job.

I'm glad you are coming with me to my appointment with the new pain specialist. I can handle myself, but I still want you with me. Yes, you can do a "Godfather" type thing if they upset me, don't feel you have to hold back, besides I think it's cute.


Dear children,

I really don't like to talk about my childhood, so just trust me when I tell you that your grandmother is no grandmother, but is just plain evil. I am trying to protect you from the hurt she can cause.

I am sorry you don't have loving caring grandparents, if I could change that I would.

She is the reason I have done my very best to make sure you all have nice happy childhoods and won't need therapy for it.


Dear mother in law,

Don't think for one minute I have forgotten you telling me that you don't like boys and how much better girls are. You said it in front of your own son! I saw the hurt in his eyes and you are lucky I didn't go off on you.

So, no, I will not be sending my children out to see you. Why? so you can dote on my daughter in front of my sons? That is not happing. If you can't treat them equally then you won't be seeing any of them.

It's my job as their mother to do what I can to keep from them being hurt either physically or emotionally, even if that means keeping them away from you.

Stop trying to tell us you want to come visit, but only if you are allowed to stay in our house. First off, we don't have the room and second, you try to take over when you visit and I will not have some other woman try to take over my household, got it?


Dear Microsoft,

I hate Internet Explorer beta version 8, it sucks monkey balls! I can't get it off my computer so I can get Internet Explorer 7 back.

You should have a patch by now to fix all the screw ups in the beta version.


Dear obnoxious woman in CVS last night,

It's rude to scream at the top of your lungs for any reason, unless you are on fire or someone is coming at you with a knife.

A singing dancing stuffed elf doll that you thought was just soooooo cccuuuuttttttee is not for any reason a reason to scream.

Did your mother not teach you any manners? Grow up!


Dear check out guy,

You acted all weirded out by having to scan maxi pads. I hate to tell you this, but women do need those and they will have to go through a check out to get them.

So, you need to stop acting like you are as embarrassed as hell to ring them up. I realize you are a teenager, but I assume you have a mother who might have told you that women need those and they don't buy them just to embarrass you.


Dear CVS employees at the pharmacy,

You all acted like I performed some miracle when I tested the stuffed singing dog and shut him off after 2 seconds. It was weird how you all thanked me for actually shutting him off.

Do you want me to hang around and smack people upside the head with my cane if they make the dog sing and leave him running? I can you know, I don't have anything to do today, so just let me know.

Also, will you please switch my phone number to actually bring up my CVS card? I had it that way for awhile, but you guys switched my phone number, so that it now comes up as someone else, so if I forget my card I have no way of pulling it up.

One other thing, why on earth do you guys have two profiles for me in the pharmacy? The one that causes problems is the one you all created with the wrong birth date.

I don't know why you guys can't fix it, so that the wrong profile doesn't come up and screw up my prescription coverage with my insurance company. It's frustrating that there is a problem every other time I come in for medicine refills because you guys have two profiles for me.

Please fix it, kthnxbi.