Dear....

[hinakiba777]

Dear tire on my parents Van,

How DARE you go flat!? My family was supposed to be here 40 minutes ago. I'm sick and i want to go home. Now I will have to wait until the evening to go home. I am very upset. And grumpy! GRRR!

With anger;
~Hina

[Becks]

Dear current workplace,

While I appreciate the thought of asking me if I wanted to come in and work today (I could use the money), I really don't feel like giving up my last remaining day off. Isn't it enough that I agreed to come in tomorrow for 4 hours?

Sure, if you were my former place of employment, I more than likely would've gone in. Why? I would be more than adequately compensated for my trouble. You, current place of employment, offer NOTHING in the way of compensation. Not even a "thank you".

Busy trying to get the laundry done,

--me

[Evil Queen]

Dear Forumites,

Coincidently, I, too, am doing laundry today. Difference being, I accidently left the lid on the washer up (open) so now I have to resoap and rewash my clothes since the washing machine just drains the water, it doesn't hold it.

I suck.
-EQ

[CaroPhoenix]

Dear EQ,

Remind me to get some pictures demonstrating how one should do laundry properly. (I have found the pictures to help children learn to go potty, I'm sure there are pictures out there on how to do laundry properly). Once I find them, or I draw them myself (they'll be stick people with large box-like things, but hey, they'll be pictures!), I'll send them to you.

Jokingly,
Rummy

[purplecat41877]

Dear doctor's office,

Please give me the results of my blood test asap. I know something isn't right and I'm really scared.

[Summerfly413]

I'll copy this from my blog from an incedent that happened a while ago before I went into work:

Dear Old-Man Douchebag

Had I understood the garble spitting out of your old, decaying mouth, I would have indeed told you off, instead of laughing in a confused manner. Perhaps you got off easy in that sense, as I would not have been nice. As my 'elder' you would normally have my respect. However, just because you are older than me, does not mean you are better than me. You think that writing says something about my I.Q.? Ha! Had you known what it referred to, you would just realize it means I find a certain youtube video funny. And by golly, it wasn't even my own choice to have it on my car! It was done by my friends. I'm not a fan of those car markers, but since it was done by my very good friends, they're allowed to get away with it. I'm really glad you felt the need to go out of your way to make assumptions and insult a complete stranger. Really, I am. Because you know what that says about you? It says you're a complete asshole who has nothing better to do with his time.
Making assumptions is never good. I'm pretty sure my I.Q. is far more than yours, sir. I'm also fairly sure I know quite a bit more than you learned when you were in school.(although, I guess this would be assuming, wouldn't it?)
I really don't see what your point was. Was anything at all accomplished by what you said? No, nothing at all. Have fun insulting and assuming about other complete strangers for no reason.

[BethB]

Dear Mother Nature,
Please be in a good mood on Valentine's Day weekend. I really want to see my nephew and baby niece. And my sister too, i suppose. Thank you!

Dear McDonalds,
Why can you NEVER get my iced coffee order right when i go to drive-thru? It's just a flavored coffee with extra shot of flavor! I don't want plain iced coffee. I don't want a Splenda packet to mix in it! I just want more flavor sweetness. Meanies!!!!!!

Dear Hubby,
When I say you never give me anything and you respond with "that's not true. I give you headaches", I will admit it is funny but would it kill ya to buy me flowers once in a while. yes they do die as all living things must go through the circle of life but they smell and look pretty. Except that one flower my mom had that looked pretty but smelled like a skunk died in it. yuck!


Dear Nintendo,
I love Love LOVE the Wii!!! It's so pretty. And I love your virtual console because I can get me some old school games. but can you please bring back Kickle Cubicle, Caveman Games, and Trog! Those games bring back some good memories and were tons o' fun!!

Thank you!!!

[Becks]

Dear right eye/muscles underneath,

For the love of...something...please stop twitching. I've been awake for over 16 hours now and it's been happening off and on all day.

It's starting to creep me out.

Icky,

--me

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear laundry,

Thanks for not taking horribly long to take care of you today.

I apologize for not putting you away neatly, but I promise to take care of that on my next day off.

Lazy,

--me

[AdminAssistant]

Becks,

Bananas are supposed to help eye twitching. Happens to me sometimes too. Ick.

[iradney]

Dear Recruitment Company

I had an interview with you yesterday and you loved me. Now please hurry up and tell me when Client Company wants to see me, as the job sounds awesome and the pay even better and I NEED TO GET OUT OF HERE.

Much love
Rads

Dear Weekend

<3

Rads

Dear TTO

Woot! We're going exploring tomorrow!

Love you mushily
Rads

Dear self

Go you! You did a powerpump AND a step combo class last night and didn't pass out or throw up. Good luck for your weigh in tomorrow!

PS Buy a belt! Your pants are sagging!

Love
Rads

Dear Hopper

I hope it's stopped raining by the time I get home so I can walk your furry butt!

Wuff
Your FurMommy

[PhotoChick]

Dear Laundry,
Could you do yourself please? Just this once? And put yourself away? And all the other clothes that haven't been put away? Please?

Me

Dear Idiot at the Dentist,
I know you told me the appointment was at 1:30. I was paying attention plus I wouldn't have taken one at 11:30 cause thats lunch time. I understand that you wanted to leave early cause it was Xmas eve but that's no excuse. I should have guessed when you called and asked how soon I could get there. I just found the appointment card you wrote and it said 1:30. Now it a month later and I still have 2 weeks till the new appointment. If there were any other dentist I would go to them.

Pissed Off,
Me

[CaroPhoenix]

Dear MIL,

Thank you for turning the down the opportunity to watch Child Rum on the 27th of January. It's not like I actually wanted to go to my father's retirement party or anything.

However, you're slowly beginning to show your true colors to us and Mr. Rum is beginning to realize you don't give two shakes about our child. This is good. Perhaps we won't have to visit you as often.

Thankfully,
Rummy

[Evil Queen]

Dear Rummy,

I'll baby sit Child Rum. She sounds like she'd be a sweet kid and easy to care for. (I have watched Autistic kids before. Just treat them like normal and they love you forever.)

-EQ

[RetailWorkhorse]

Here's a long one!

Dear Warehouse Company,

Hi. You know me. I have a storage unit in your set of Warehouses. I'm gonna be paying the past due fees for my Parent's unit, along with next month in advance.

Thank you for not over-locking them, even though they're 4 months past due. Thank you for not over-locking me when I was two months past due. I appreciate the trust you put in us, and we will repay evey last red cent we owe you.

I just wanted to let you know we appreciate what you do for us. You keep our things safe and out of the weather. You have a security camera that runs 24/7/365 to keep people from breaking in and stealing our valuables, what little we have (and, really, who's gonna hock a bunch of manga, a cherry table, and a walnut rocker that needs to be fixed anyhow?).

Thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you!

-Your Customer


Dear EQ,

Well, Sister. We have some things you need to hang onto, essentially inheriting what's left of our family property. The cherry coffee table and rocker is yours. Mom doesn't want to get rid of her Peacock chairs, so you're gonna be stuck with them. I hope you get a house with a sunroom to house them in, 'cause they're big. The TV is yours, too. I haven't treated it very well, what with bumping into it constantly and it catching my feet when squeezing between it and the couch to reach the door (there has to be a better way to house a HUGE TV in a small room). I accidentally broke part of it somehow, the part that hooks up to the cable. So you're gonna have to hook up via a VCR or DVD Player. I'm sorry, I don't know how it happened. I have the part still, so if I can get it fixed when we get out there I'll pay for it.

You'll be getting my 220 piece collection of Manga (I think only 200 of them is yaoi) and any others I pick up while on the road, along with the rest of my sci-fi and comic collection of which is not cataloged yet.

I'm not sure how, but I managed to pick up two sidetables that seriously need a nice matte finish in black. I seriously have no clue how I got them. I'm pretty sure I have a use for one, so if you need the other you can have it.

If not then we're gonna have to have a pretty large yard sale when we hit your place.

I still have your bookcases, and I can make some built-ins while I'm there if you want. I'll even stain them for ya! I know you'll be looking for work, or working full-time by the time we get there, so we'll do our best to stay out of your way and not bother you when you come home tired.

You'll get the rest of your music collection back, with a couple more albums added that I'm sure you'll like.

I'm pretty positive you'd like your two bottles of Duke's mayo back. They will be safely tucked away in Claudia-Jeep so you'll get them first thing we pull up.

I'm keeping my blankets, though. All twelve of them. And my green candles. And my movies.....and the PS2. I WILL FINISH THAT STUPID RATCHET&CLANK GAME BEFORE I DIE! *Throttles Ratchet Plushie*

There's more, but I'm not down at the Warehouses to tell you everything. You'll get your coin collection and your Magic: The Gathering collection back. That much I remember for sure (mostly because both are practically staring me in the face).

My lifestyle is about to change in a very big way. I'm going to change. Please bear with me during this transformation. I'll be asking a lot of you, maybe a lot of which I really shouldn't burden you with, and at times you will hate me with the passion of a thousand suns.

I'll still be your little brother.

With a whole lotta love, despite the shit I'm about to put you through,
Das Mel

[CaroPhoenix]

Dear EQ,

Thank you for the offer of watching Child Rum! When can you make it to Virginia? The retirement party starts at 11:30 and I need to leave the house by at least 10:30 AM.


Rummy

PS You might have to fight my friend in Florida to watch Child Rum. She offered too, however, I'd have to Air Mail Child Rum to her in Florida. Heheehehe.

Rummy, who's just woken up and has had no caffeine yet