Dear....

[Misanthropical]

Dear daughter,

Please stop telling everyone your mother is Satan. I am not that bad, honest.


Dear BossMan,

Just because you deny a religion exists doesn't make it true. I told you I have a neighbor who belongs to the one you are denying exists. I know she does, because when she bakes me goodies, she slips a pamphlet in with it to save my heathen soul.


Dear children,

Stop taking my chocolate or I will sell you all to the gypsies!

[Evil Queen]

Dear RW,

Honey, call me today, okay?

I still love you, even though you give me your crappy porn.
-EQ

[RetailWorkhorse]

Dear RW,

Honey, call me today, okay?

I still love you, even though you give me your crappy porn.
-EQ

Dear EQ,

It's not crappy! It's cute. You know how hard it is to find good hardcore porn in America? It's tough, man!

-RW, who needs a better source for his manga, dammit.

[orcprincess]

Dear Skank-Muffin I have for a roommate,

You make me sick!!! I thought this would be a better living situation. Guess not.

I am disgusted that you have been the "other woman" with 2 different men, and that you are just with your current man for the sex.
That, and you're hoping in 8 years, when ex's son turns 18, you think he'll leave his wife and come back to you!

Oh, and if you really need some extra cleaning somewhere, just ask nicely, don't talk really loudly to someone on the phone, and huff and puff about how this is the 2nd time you had to clean the bathroom...in 4 months BITCH!

P.S. Tell your neanderthal bf that when he uses the toilet, he needs to stop peeing on the seat, and to remember to put the farkin seat down! Women live here, and if he can't do it, he needs to fucking go HOME! and you can go with him!!!

[monolayth]

Dear stupid sister in law.

Its lovely that you finally got a myspace page. And yay you wanted to add me. but your really really stupid. posting pictures of yourself and my brother smoking pot in a public profile is dumb. posting pictures of you sitting and going through and seperating a bunch of pot is stupid.

What really gets on my nerves is the picture of my 8 year old neice flipping off the camera. What type of parent are you? Hell all i would need to so if i wanted to take the children away from you is to show a judge your myspace profile.

Oh and saying you have "twin boys two girls and a pet husband" on your profile is not cute.


judgingly,

your sister in law.

[smileyeagle1021]

dear RHPG,
I would so love you forever if you went to the Clearfield Job Corp, you could visit on weekends then

[RootedPhoenix]

Dear BestBuy,

While I really wish I was not a slob capable of losing my own head if it were not attached firmly, I am indebted to you for stocking universal power cords for laptop computers. I wish you hadn't charged me so much, but I accept it as penance for being such an idiot.

--RP

[Bella_Vixen]

Dear customer's lazy ass daughter--

When you/your mother are in the process of buying a buttload of groceries, when you see that there are NO baggers available, and I have absolutely NO MORE ROOM to put food after it has been scanned, maybe, juuuuuuuuuuuuuust maybe, you might want to jump in and start bagging.

I'm not saying that you should bag everything, but DAMN! Grab a bag and get started. Even a half-bags worth of groceries would have been a huge help.

[persephone]

Dear Stuff,

Please do not break during the move. I have been very careful in how you are packed and you should be fine. The really breakable among you are going with Hubby anyway because I don't want to make the Movers take that kind of responsibility. But Movers are coming to get the rest of you tomorrow morning. Please please please be good and don't decide to have a massive party in the truck or do a nose dive out the back.

We like our stuff and want to have it at the new house.

Love,

the woman who has been packing you



Dear Hubby,

This is really happening. Are you ready for this?

I love you.

Love,

your wife



Dear Son and Daughter,

I know I say this on here a lot, but that you for being so well behaved recently. I know things are crazy and you are both very excited, but thank you for not going completely crazy and bouncing off walls. Thank you for helping Mommy pack your things as much as you could. Things will calm down soon enough.

And thank you for the hugs. Mommy needs lots of those!

Love,

Mommy




Dear Baby Girl,

I know I'm stressed out. I'm sorry. But do you really need to beat me up on a daily basis and make me feel like crap? I know you're running out of space in there, but it's not so comfy for me either, sweetheart.

Mommy will be less stressed out after about two weeks. So please, just hold in there. It will all be over soon.

Love,

Mommy.

[CaroPhoenix]

Dear Ice,

Please go away. I don't like falling on ice!

I'm going to have to get shoe spikes, aren't I?

Klutzy,
Rummy

----------------------------------------------------------
Dear Jawline, left side of neck, left shoulder & left arm,

Thank you for no longer causing me so much I'd scream but I don't want to worry Child Rum.

Finally feeling human,
Rummy

[Becks]

Dear I don't know what,

Why the hell am I PMSing right now?

I shouldn't be.

No. Seriously. Shouldn't be happening.

Grrrrrrrrrr,

me

[KiaKat]

Dear Becks,

I totally feel you. Stupid emotions.

Offering chocolate,

Kia

[SengaKitty]

Dear body,

you better be done with this crap by saturday, I mean it -grrrrrr-

-your owner

[Misanthropical]

Dear body,

WTF was going on with you today? I suddenly felt so tired, out of the blue, then I couldn't cool down to save my life and I thought I was going to pass out at work.

I was also nauseated and dizzy. It was not fun.

So, what are you trying to do to do to me, this time?


Dear BossMan,

Stop dumping more work on my desk. I have enough to do as it is. Why not give it to the girl who thinks she gets paid to update her facebook and MySpace page or chat in the AIM chat thing she downloaded on her computer.

Whiner gets paid more than I do, but I do triple the work she does, so ask her to do it! DAMN!

You and Whiner are the reason I started smoking more! GRRR!


Dear friend,

Thanks for listening to me bitch about Whiner all the time, since she pisses me the hell off.

Plus, you know if we did even half the crap she does we would be called on the carpet in no time.


Dear Children,

I know I have already told you this, but I'm so proud of all three of you making the honor roll! YOU GUYS ROCK!


Dear guys at the Dunkin Donuts,

You guys are so awesome the way you have our orders ready as soon as we get up to the counter. ROCK ON DUDES!

[Becks]

Dear Kia,

Thanks for the chocolate.



Nibbling,

me

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear MOTH©,

I'm not fond of you right now.

*hiss*

--me