Dear....

[lupo pazzesco]

Dear random virus or bug attacknig my body,

I hate it when I get sick. I hate it more when it doesn't leave right away, and I still have things to take care of and accomplish. I cannot lose hours at work because of you. Please leave forthwith. Preferably within the next few hours so I can go to sleep and wake up at the asscrack of dawn to go to work.

A cranky and ill me.




Dear Stupid Moronic Boss

WTF!?!?! You're salaried!! You have paid sick leave!! TAKE IT!! Do NOT come into the store with some kind of virus, then demand I do all your work for you while you bitch and moan over how sick you feel. Go HOME! Go spend time with your 8 dogs, who can't catch human viruses! And if I go in tomorrow and you start whining that you hate when I'm sick because I'm not as productive, I will kick you, I swear it!

Cranky Lupo that YOU MADE SICK!

[CaroPhoenix]

Dear Rads,

You are right that I need a vacation. I might take you up on your offer.

However, instead of a vacation, I took a 5 hour nap today. It was ... theraputic, but heck on my back as I slept on my back for all 5 hours 'cos my boy cat decided sleeping in between my knees was a good idea and he hates it when I move.

Feeling a bit better,
Rummy

[Becks]

Dear left eye,

Thanks for no longer spasming.

--me

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear legs,

Please stop itching. Even lotion isn't very helpful, and it's annoying.

Mildly unhappy,

--me

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear left hip,

Yeah, you like to hurt, especially at work lately.

It's not getting me sent home, however.

Quit it.

Grrrrrrrrrrrr,

--me

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear kittens,

My toes and socks aren't snacks.

Trying to avoid sharp kitten teeth,

--your human Mommy

[draftermatt]

Dear Mrs Drafter,

Thank-you for telling me to go to the interview next week. I was having some doubts, and I'm genuienly scared to leave this hell hole (7 1/2 years will do that).

I love you!

Dear Bladder,

Thank-you for rosing me at 5:07 this AM. Had you not I never would have remembered that I had to be at work at 6 AM instead of 7 AM. Sadly I could not shower this morning, but thankfully I do not stink (and I hit the important areas).

Dear Cold,

Gah! 6F when I left the house this morning? I thought we might be past this. My feet won't warm up!

[iradney]

Dear IDR

Just remember, thanks to the exchange rate, you'd be RICH here

Love
Rads

Dear Boss

Thanks for taking the resignation so well

Rads

Dear work

How is it MY problem that the leave days reflected on my pay slip and the leave days available are not the same? If my pay slip says 18, don't tell me I only have 4 or 5 available. It's NOT my problem if you cannot keep track of the leave request forms I send you 3/4 weeks in advance. Apparently you haven't "reconciled" leave that I took between June and November of LAST YEAR. How idiotic can you be?
If it says 18 days on my pay slip, then 18 days I have. Sort your shit out.

Glad to be GTFO
Rads

[CaroPhoenix]

Dear Mr. Rum,

Thank you for making me cry myself to sleep last night.

No love,
Mrs. Rum

[KiaKat]

(not-so) Dear Mr. Rum.

Stop making Rummy cry.

No love,

--Kia.

Dear family,

Get your act together, and START TELLING THE REST OF US WHEN SOMEONE GOES INTO HOSPITAL! I hate being worried and stressed cause I don't know what's going on!

Worried-and-stressed,

--Your loving niece/grandniece

[iradney]

Dear Mr Rum

Seriously, what the hell kind of husband makes his wife cry to sleep? The kind with no balls, that's what! You're damn lucky I'm not in the same vicinity as Rummy, for if I were, I would give you a Piece Of My Mind and my Mom's Patented MaidenName Glare (which can make flesh bubble off bones).
You're disgusting

Rads

Dear Rummy

You are FAR too good for that hopeless idiot!
Love you lots!
Rads

[RootedPhoenix]

Rummy,

I'm sorry. He stinks. *offers herb tea and hugs*

--RP

Rads,

*happy dance* for new job! YAAAAY!

--RP

Dear Bella,

Thanks. *merrily drinks yoo-hoo* because digital yoo-hoo makes no headaches, lol.

--RP

Dear CSers,

Angel Wafers for everyone. Om nom nom!

--RP

[CaroPhoenix]

Dear KiaKat, Rads, and RP,

Thank you for your support.

Rads can you move to the U.S. instead of Canada?

It was my fault actually. Child Rum was sound asleep and I was feeling ... ahem ... "frisky" while Mr. Rum was trying to watch an episode of the new TV Show called "Leverage". Lesson learned. No more friskiness from good ol' Rummy.

Sigh,
Rummy

[AdminAssistant]

Dear Men Of The Universe,

I just don't understand....don't you all want to get laid? Isn't that what you all whine about all the time? But apparently, watching TV, sleeping, playing video games...these things are more important? sheesh

Oh, and by the way, (and this is for you, BoyThing, but I know other guys need this lesson as well) it's called A PHONE. You pick it up and dial if your plans change so that the other person isn't sitting around wondering what the hell is going on - but can't call to check because that would make her 'needy' or 'clingy'.

grrrrr......

Je ne t'aime pas

~ Moi

[CaroPhoenix]

Dear AdminAssistant,

Amen.

You're preaching to the choir (that would be me at the moment).

I understand your feelings completely.

Sincerely,
Rummy

[gunsage]

Dear Women of the Universe,

I like sex. I mean, I REALLY like sex. I also like videogames. These two forces have waged war for years. I would like to say that I like videogames more than I like sex were it not for the following dilemma that I'm sure any gamer would cringe at as well...

Let's say you're playing an RPG. You're at the boss of the whole game. The special one. For the super awesome ending. Yeah, that one. You've put hundreds of hours into the game already, because it's just that awesome. You've been in this battle for an hour, the dungeon hours before that, and all without a savepoint. This is the first time you've even gotten to this guy because it's so ridiculously difficult to get to him.

It's game time. It's on. Suddenly, your significant other starts giving you head like a rabid sexmonkey. Videogame. Sex. Videogame. Sex. The war continues. In THAT instance, I will probably pull you off me, saying something utterly pathetic like "Eeeh, gimme 15 minuuuuutes!!" even though I know the final cutscene, should I actually triumph, will probably be an hour or more.

By that point, you're not interested in sex anymore and think we care more about videogames. Wrong. Absolutely not. And actually, while I can't think of a scenario right now, I'm sure at some point you'll have something similar happen to you, but you'll probably get away with it with only the hair raising retort of "...Yes, dear."

So women of the universe...all men have hobbies. None of them match what you mean to us. But for God's sake, LET US ENJOY THEM!

Sunshine and puppies filled to the brim with napalm,



Gun Sage

P.S. Sex is teh awesome.

[CaroPhoenix]

Dear Gun Sage,

I understand your scenario. However, when one's husband is watching a TV show on the internet that he can watch at any other time, then you know what? He's a selfish pig who must just like to make his wife cry.

Still a sad penguin,
Rummy

[crazylegs]

Dear Mr. Rum,

Get your act together, because at this rate 3000 CSers are about to descend on your house to give you a Piece of Their Mind!

Yours, No love or fun stuff

Crazylegs