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That wasn't a shot of Hennessey you were drinking ... It was ... ummm ... my husband's spicy hot pepper sauce.
What happened 29 seconds ago?
What happened 29 seconds ago?
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A cake was wrecked.
If ghosts can walk through walls and glide down stairs, why don't they fall through the floor?
I don't go in for ancient wisdom
I don't believe just 'cause ideas are tenacious
It means that they're worthy - Tim Minchin, "White Wine in the Sun"Comment
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Same way they glide down the stairs... they have ANTI-GRAVITY BELTS!Quoth BookstoreEscapee View Post
Why is my body clock so out of whack that I'm still awake at quarter after 7 in the morning?!?
"Eventually one outgrows the fairy tales of childhood, belief in Santa and the Easter Bunny, and believing that SCs are even capable of imagining themselves in our position."
--StanFlourideComment
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You forgot to reset your clock after daylight savings time.
whose birthday is it today?Comment
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I will not shove “it” up my backside. I do not know what “it” is, but in my many years on this earth I have figured out that that particular port hole is best reserved for emergency exit only. -GKComment
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I don't know, but the last thing that went through its mind was the zinger.Quoth DesignFox View PostEveryone's! Let's have a huge party!
How fast was the bee traveling?
Who does Hugh Heffalump invite to the mansion?I am not an a**hole. I am a hemorrhoid. I irritate a**holes!
Procrastination: Forward planning to insure there is something to do tomorrow.
Derails threads faster than a pocket nuke.Comment
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Winnie of the Pooh, Tiny Tiger, Pulsating Piglet and Randy Rabbit.
When is it time for a new windshield?Comment
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When a duck flies into it.
Does your mother know you're out?Comment
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My Mom is psychic . . . she can tell you without even getting out of her chair where I'm at and what I'm doing.
Why can't I make a simple decision such as what kind of new cell phone to get?Human Resources - the adult version of "I'm telling Mom." - Agent Anthony "Tony" DiNozzo (NCIS)
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Because nowadays, the decision isn't so simple.Quoth DGoddessChardonnay View Post
What's the conspiracy?I will not shove “it” up my backside. I do not know what “it” is, but in my many years on this earth I have figured out that that particular port hole is best reserved for emergency exit only. -GKComment
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That my sister is the greatest thing since slice bread and I'm not.
Why is my mother such a martyr?Comment
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Cuz she's the reincarnation of Bishop Latimer?
Do you know what a rhetorical question is?Comment
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Could you please repeat the question your Honor?
All hands on .... what?!?Comment
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the runway!
What will prevent me from going insane today?I will not shove “it” up my backside. I do not know what “it” is, but in my many years on this earth I have figured out that that particular port hole is best reserved for emergency exit only. -GKComment
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1 Super Gulp size of Sailor Jerry's Rum, your favorite episode of Perry Mason and the newest Ghost Rider comic.
What is the second piece of the puzzle?Comment
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