CS denizens, I urgently need your help. (Animal/Shelter/Law people esp. Useful)

[dalesys]

Okay, I give up....HUH?!?!?!?

Heavy duty boot. Very good for kicking anything that kneads to be kicked.

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Just watch out for the brogans...

Brogans have been around since the American Revolution. And they are still available today . . .they don't seem to go out of style.

Okay, I give up....HUH?!?!?!?

That must be one serious hangover, 'cause as long as you've been here you're still not used to Dalesys and his punny ways?

Hope your head (the one you're supposed to think with, that is) is feeling better by now.

[XCashier]

Just watch out for the brogans...

Okay, I give up....HUH?!?!?!?

Heavy duty boot.

It's also a brand of Irish cream liquor.

[Jester]

That must be one serious hangover, 'cause as long as you've been here you're still not used to Dalesys and his punny ways?

It's not that I'm not used to them so much as I don't often GET them. In this case, for instance, I had never heard of brogans, so I had no idea what they were.

Hard to get a joke when you don't know what the main subject of it IS.

And by the way, most of my hangovers are healthy. As a professional drunk, it takes a lot to even give me a hangover, so if I have one, it's from concentrated effort the night before.

[Marlowe]

As a professional drunk, it takes a lot to even give me a hangover, so if I have one, it's from concentrated effort the night before.

I've always said if you're going do something wrong, do it right.



Also, the whole cat thing isn't looking great - they've cooled right off on me and I'm feeling less and less optimistic I'll get them back. You better believe I'm still blitzing the crap out of this house tidy wise though. I spent almost £70 today on flea room foggers to make sure there are NO BUGS, but also NO POISON FOR CAT. Not to mention the huge cat crate so my housemate can take the current cats and hide in the side alley with them so the crazy shelter people don't take them too.

[Jester]

This is just proving more and more to me that these people aren't a real shelter, but scam artists. They let someone adopt some animals, taking their money, then go reclaim the animals a short while later, citing "unhealthy conditions," whether or not such conditions exist in any way. Then they sell "adopt" them out to another unsuspecting animal lover. While they're confusing the animals and breaking the hearts of the animal lovers, they are lining their pockets, which is all they care about anyway.

People like this should be spayed and neutered. Preferably with rusty implements.

[Marlowe]

People like this should be spayed and neutered. Preferably with rusty implements.

And wouldn't you just know I've got an ancient machete in the garden tool cupboard somewhere?

[Sapphire Silk]

I make up songs for my cats too! And I've done one, well part of one, to "Barbie Girl": .

I have a couple. One is sung to the tune of the "Hungry Jack" commercial.

Hungry, hungry kitty
She's a hungry girl
Hungry, hungry kitty
in her kitty world

She's such a hungry kitty
Hungry all the time
Hungry, hungry kitty
Hungry, hungry girl!

I sing this to her at feeding time

Another one I don't know there's a specific tune for.

She's my kitty girl
She's my kitty girl
She's my kitty
oh so silly
She's my kitty girl

The third one is to the tune of Tutti Frutti

Kitty kitty, so silly
Kitty kitty, so silly
Kitty kitty so silly
A bap bap a lu bap a bap bam boom

I got a cat named Taz
She never seems to spaz
I got a cat named Taz
She never seems to spaz

She's such a funny kitty to see
She's such a funny kitty to me

Kitty kitty, so silly
Kitty kitty, so silly
Kitty kitty so silly
A bap bap a lu bap a bap bam boom

I like to sing that one while playing with her tail

Asking an Irish girl to tone it down a notch is about the same as asking a wolf to leave the sheep alone. Good luck with that.

I just had this vision of Maureen O'Hara from the Quiet Man.

[sms001]

Kruuuuushy-wushy, you're so smushy,
Krushy-wushy, you'resosmushy.
You're Krushy-wushy woo!

(I generally get a "My god, you are full on mental" look and an ankle bump for this, so totally worth it.)

[Marlowe]

(I generally get a "My god, you are full on mental" look and an ankle bump for this, so totally worth it.)

Aww, I know that look....


Things are looking... hmm. I kind of swing between optimistic and despairing several times a day. I have no idea what to do if I don't get them back.

(and please don't tell me to call the police. I know you're trying to help, but the police here are useless (as already covered) and they have a LOT else to worry about. The riots are really bad, police are getting seriously injured with stones, and the other day a policeman got LIT ON FIRE. An MLA/MP (like a Congressman) got attacked with a brick and sent to the ER. Right now, the police are trying to stop the rioters breaching the interface at Woodvale and torching Ardoyne.... so understandably my cats are not their no. 1 priority.)

But... I miss them so much

[thatcrazyredhead]

This is just proving more and more to me that these people aren't a real shelter, but scam artists. They let someone adopt some animals, taking their money, then go reclaim the animals a short while later, citing "unhealthy conditions," whether or not such conditions exist in any way. Then they sell "adopt" them out to another unsuspecting animal lover. While they're confusing the animals and breaking the hearts of the animal lovers, they are lining their pockets, which is all they care about anyway.

People like this should be spayed and neutered. Preferably with rusty implements.

Agreed!! To both statements.

[Marlowe]

Waiting for the homecheck people now. Losing my mind with nervousness. Words cannot describe.

And it's still half an hour until they said they'd be here......

[Mikkel]

How did it go?

[Marlowe]

The cats are now HOME!!!



The people came round, said the house was fine, and within the hour all my kitties were back to running around and causing chaos everywhere they went

In fact, here is a brief rundown of the first five hours of their homecoming:


9.30pm: Cats return home. Much excitement.
9.45pm: Sounds of squabbling fill the house.
10.30pm: Sound of breaking glass.
11.00pm: Crash as curtain rail separates from wall.
11.30pm: Woken by loud hissing.
12.00am: Woken by sound of tearing fabric.
12.30am: Woken by searing pain of kitty fangs in tender spot of ankle.
12.32am: Give up and take a Zolpidem.
1.00am: Woken by sound of violent retching from foot of bed.
1.30am: Woken by sound of tortured yowls.
1.32am: Give up and take another Zolpidem.
2.00am: Cat grabs chocolate bar and runs. Give chase. Step in something cold and horrific on stairs. Gag. Step in something cold and horrific again. Gag. Repeat. Reclaim chocolate, turn around, and realise somehow cat has vomited ON EVERY STEP OF THE STAIRS.
2.05am: Haul ass to bathroom. Promptly bitten by hissing cat hiding in toilet bowl.
2.10am: More tortured yowls. Further hissing.


It's good to have them home

I'll upload some pictures of them running riot soon for you guys

[RootedPhoenix]

*explodes in happy approximately 60 million times*

(I'm good at reassembling myself)

*happy hugs* YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!

*pets the lovely kitties* I'm so glad they're home.