I stand alone...twilight-the book please tell me I'm not alone! (could have spoilers)

[CaroPhoenix]

What? I'm confused. Sparkly? Glittery? What the frell????

Please explain the concept to me!

[Parrothead]

"You Suck!"

How does it start?

"You killed me, you bitch! You suck!"

"You Suck!" is a sequel to "Bloodsucking Fiends" by Christopher Moore. It is a comedic take on vampirism. It wasn't ever meant to be taken seriously (hell, the second chapter in "You Suck" is talking about the guys last turd. He wanted it bronzed.)



If you want to read his stuff, you should start with "Lamb: the Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal"

[Evil Queen]

What? I'm confused. Sparkly? Glittery? What the frell????

Please explain the concept to me!

It's like this, first a little demonstration.

*grabs Irv*

*dumps glitter all over Irv because, ya know, he likes glitter*

*shines a light on him*

This? This isn't supposed to happen to vampires. At all. Ever. Having fun there Irv?

[SnarkyPie]

"You Suck!" is a sequel to "Bloodsucking Fiends" by Christopher Moore. It is a comedic take on vampirism. It wasn't ever meant to be taken seriously (hell, the second chapter in "You Suck" is talking about the guys last turd. He wanted it bronzed.)



If you want to read his stuff, you should start with "Lamb: the Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal"

I read Lamb and loved it, but I had a hard time getting into any of Christopher Moore's other books. He does have a great sense of humor, however. Lamb reminded me a little of Good Omens (which I found hilarious as well) in the casual, sarcastic take it had on religion as a whole.

[Evil Queen]

Lamb is a reminder of Good Omens, huh? I may have to pick it up now.

[CaroPhoenix]

*kerblinks at EQ's demonstration*

*feels sorry for Irv even though he seems to like the glitter 'cos glitter is a ... ahem ... hard to get out of certain spots*

Bu ... wha ... that?? That is what the vamps do in Twilight? Tha ... that got published? No one in the editing department or whatever questioned that?

*runs away screaming, really considering pulling out that horrendous vamp clan novel and the equally horrendous vamp short story I wrote once, type it up, prettify it and get it sent out to agents & publishers*

[Evil Queen]

Yes. And the Vampire expects people to be.... AFRAID of a Glittery Vampire.

Too much Radiation, anyone?

[CaroPhoenix]

Are the peoples in the book really afraid of the Glittery Vampire? Or do they just fall over laughing?

[ADoyle90815]

I also have avoided that series, and it's hard to stay on some boards for very long because half of the threads in the section for books, TV and movies are about the Twilight books and movie. When I saw the trailer unexpectedly as it was shown before The Dark Knight, my reaction was when I saw the glitter on Edward's face.

[Lace Neil Singer]

Sounds as tho you'd expect him to suddenly start singing along to the Village People... O.o

(with no offence meant to anyone who either is gay or a fan of the Village people. )

[PepperElf]

the only thing i dislike is that.... so many other authors are trying to copy the theme and do vampire romance series...

but eh... i can honestly say i've never read the series... i went with the audiobook version instead


i wonder if the people in Forks are sick of it yet... i'm thinking of moving to seattle and figure, when i can take the time, to swing by forks just to look around... even if i don't see a vegetarian vampire on the way, i'll probably enjoy a nice nature walk at least

('sides when i was in WA last i just *loved* the weather)

[Binky]

I think if I saw a vampire all glittery I would fall over laughing till I cried!

Honestly? How could you be scared of a person covered in glitter?

Either way I decided to not finish the first book. It's sitting on my desk with the bookmark in it at home. I'll eventually put it on the shelf with all the other unfinished books I got over.

[Lace Neil Singer]

Maybe you could use it as kindling on Bonfire Night?

[Dreamstalker]

I used to be of the belief that nobody sane could top the first Mary Sue character I came up with and get published in the mainstream. I now stand corrected. Even she was more plausible than Bella Swan.

I think I got through the first few pages before dropping the book in disgust (luckily I didn't actually pay for it; a friend at my old bookstore job passed me a review copy). I've seen various textual/stylistic/etc errors in galleys that do get fixed by release, but apparently that is not the case here.

I suppose in this case it's this Edward guy- he's like OMGsohotandsensitiveandanassholetoboot! !!111!!

See, that makes me think that Meyers is trying to borrow from Laurell K Hamilton...trying and failing miserably it seems. Chalk up another for the glitter thing.

[cinema guy]

I think Jennie doesn't appreciate Twilight much either: http://www.thedevilspanties.com/d/20081103.html

You Suck isn't Christopher Moore's best. I love Bloodsucking Fiends, Island of the Sequined Love Nun and The Lust Lizard of Melancholy Cove.