Roommmates are FUN! (Or, "What Did I Do to Deserve This?")

[Mr. Rager!]

What makes you think I kept my cool? Shit, I thought I was going to wake up Mr. Anti-Social when I lit into Music Man. I was rather shocked I didn't. The only way I kept my cool was by not using any of my many knives on the fucker.

Not throwing him out was not about keeping my cool. I want my fucking money, and I think I have a much better shot of getting it this way than that way.

Apparently our tempers are very different. I lost my cool yesterday and ended up with a Boxer's Fracture. I guess no one really wants to see me horribly pissed. Typing with a cast sucks. I have no use of my left hand picky and ring finger...

[RootedPhoenix]

So yeah, I am going to allow him the chance to make this right. One of two things is going to happen. Either I'll get my money, or he is going to be homeless and miserable and known throughout town as a deadbeat fuckwad who can't get his shit together even when given every opportunity to do so.

That statement makes me hope fervently that this guy really does get it together. I can see how he is being allowed a very big chance to set things right. I hope he sees it too, because that alternative does not sound good, and I know I wouldn't want it.

I hope you get to go to Phoenix too. You seem really excited about it. Going home is fun stuff.

[mandaliz8704]

Wow, that really sucks. I have to ask though... is the amount of money that he owes you something he can realistically come up with and continue to pay his share at the same time? I know It's not cheap to live where you live, so I can guess it's probably not just a couple hundred bucks we're talking about.

Anyway, I hope everything works out and you can still go to Phoenix.

[taxguykarl]

Jester,
You have a lot more patience than me. MM would be long gone if it were my call. You mean he does nothing around the residence?!

[Becks]

No. At least, not yet. If he fails me again, you can have the green light for that, but trust me when I say getting his ass kicked by you will be the least of his worries.

Fair enough.

[Jester]

Look on the bright side. Now you have your own personal bitch.

That IS hilarious. While some people would take advantage of this, I have not. However, before I left for work this evening, I told him that he needed to prove that he was not totally worthless and clean up the fucking kitchen. I fully expected it to be just as trashed when I got home.

I was wrong. Garbage out, dishes done, stove cleaned, he even mopped the damn floor. *I* wouldn't have even thought to mop the floor. I am slightly tempted to have him clean the bathroom I share with the other roommate, but honestly, he didn't create that mess, and I do have a sense of fair play. Same reason I'm not going to have him do my laundry or wash my truck. I did tell him, though, that he needs to clean up his own damn room. Hell, I may have to show the room to a prospective roommate! And don't get me wrong, there are going to be other things I am going to have him do while he is in debt to me, but I am not someone to take advantage, even if it is warranted.

I would give him until friday night to give you the money or you are pitching him and his stuff out of the apartment.

There is no chance of him having my money by Friday night. If I did not actually believe him--I do--I would have tossed him out today, after I had finished putting his shit in the dumpster. He is on thin ice, certainly, and he knows this, but I honestly believe he is doing what he can to get back in the black. I know a lot of you may think I am a sucker, and there have been times in my life I have been a soft touch, but I have also had craptastic roommates in the past, and I do not think he is trying to con me. I always reserve the right to be horribly wrong--see also That Vile Woman that was the worst girlfriend ever--and if that is the case, he is going to wish I just threw him out. For my vindictiveness runs hot and runs deep.

I'd personally march his ass down to the local loan shark office and ask for four months rent right now.

Not realistic. Not even vaguely. And I am handling this my way. It is unconventional, and defies what most people think, but I am going on my gut, and my gut is rarely wrong here. I have learned over the years to listen to my gut. It was trying to scream at me much of the time I was with That Vile Woman, but I wouldn't listen. I listen now.

hes like a fed feral cat -- now that youve paid 2 months rent hes thinking "how much longer can i milk this guy?"

As I said, I don't think he is trying to con me. Y'all are going to have to trust me on this one.

Jester, good job on keeping your cool. (In all seriousness).

What makes you think I kept my cool? Shit, I thought I was going to wake up Mr. Anti-Social when I lit into Music Man. I was rather shocked I didn't. The only way I kept my cool was by not using any of my many knives on the fucker.

Not throwing him out was not about keeping my cool. I want my fucking money, and I think I have a much better shot of getting it this way than that way.

I've been in an ass kicking mood all day.

Can I go down there and kick HIS ass?

Please?

No. At least, not yet. If he fails me again, you can have the green light for that, but trust me when I say getting his ass kicked by you will be the least of his worries.

Let's not forget what can happen when my full vindictiveness is not only fired up to turbo power, but focused laserlike on one person. In a small town. Where I know a lot of people, and have a great reputation for honesty, even among those who don't like me all that much.

So yeah, I am going to allow him the chance to make this right. One of two things is going to happen. Either I'll get my money, or he is going to be homeless and miserable and known throughout town as a deadbeat fuckwad who can't get his shit together even when given every opportunity to do so.

[Becks]

I've been in an ass kicking mood all day.

Can I go down there and kick HIS ass?

Please?

[Mr. Rager!]

Jester, good job on keeping your cool. (In all seriousness).

I had a similar incident with my ex-roommate, only he was the *owner* of the house and I was paying the mortgage payment on more than a couple of occasions the two years I lived there. Then he had the nerve to tell me that I was going to have to pay for his security suite software for his computer because I would not give him the password to my account for Charter (our cable company). The account was in my name because his credit was so shot we would only be able to have one cable box.

[JoitheArtist]

I tend to be a cluttered person myself, and one roommate of mine got tired of it, and quite calmly informed me that if I did not clean up my mess by a certain date, she would burn my things. I know this girl quite well, and knew she meant it. I cleaned my room.

Something to consider, at any rate.

[artifical sweetner]

hes like a fed feral cat -- now that youve paid 2 months rent hes thinking "how much longer can i milk this guy?"

tsk tsk. start cutting off his power or something?

[One-Fang]

Yeah, toss him. Okay so he's got other expenses and whatever going on that you dig, but even a token few dollars with an apology would show some sort of respect. "Yeah dude, I'm getting it, you'll get it" followed by NADA is not a good roomie. Other expenses or nay.

I'd personally march his ass down to the local loan shark office and ask for four months rent right now. If he won't do that, then he's out. If he can come up with four months today without the loan shark, fine, but if not, it's loan shark tomorrow or get out.

He may be a nice guy, a good roomie in other respects, and have issues, but Jester ... how long you gonna pay this guy's rent for?

[Kiwi]

Two months rent? You are a nicer guy than I am Jester (well Im not a guy either but you know what I mean)

I would give him until friday night to give you the money or you are pitching him and his stuff out of the apartment. I still doubt you will see your money.

[HorrorFrogPrincess]

Look on the bright side. Now you have your own personal bitch. ^^

[Jester]

Update.... (in which the fury of Jester is unleashed)

So all week long, Music Man has been telling me he would have this month's rent for me by last night, which was the cutoff date before we have to pay a late fee to the complex. Last night, I dropped the check off, before I saw a dime from him, knowing I had enough in my account to cover his share if necessary. And last night when I talked to him on the phone, he swore up and down he would have the rent waiting for me.

There was no rent last night. There was no rent today. I called and texted him repeatedly, with the messages getting more and more belligerent. No response. So I had some time to work up a good head of steam. I was pondering putting all his shit outside, or selling the better stuff. I even sent him a text message telling him that if he did not contact me soon, I was going to start tossing his shit in the dumpster, starting with the music and computer equipment.

Finally, about a half hour ago, he calls to tell me he is back. Home. Great. I wanted to talk to him face to face. So, anyone want to guess how much of THIS month's rent he had for me? Anyone? Anyone?

If you guessed "not a fucking dime" you would be correct.

And he thought I was mad last time. I went off.

I pointed out that quite legally I could tell him to get out right now, this minute, and there would not be a goddamned thing he could do about it legally. I told him that because I am a BETTER man than he is, I am going to let him stay, but he needs to start getting money in my hands pronto. He's not getting music gigs? Well, get the fuck out there and go find a goddamned job. Wash dishes if you have to. Scrub floors. Jerk people off in back alleys. I don't give a flying fuck.

I also told him that since I have been basically paying his rent for the last two months, he is now my bitch, and he goddamned well better not only clean up his pigsty of a room, but do the fucking dishes and start taking out the trash. He should do something to prove he is not a completely worthless fuck. And I told him I want a timetable of what he is going to pay me and when, and I want on the kitchen table by the time I get home from work. NOT that I expect that to happen, of course.

Look, I know a lot of you think I should probably toss him today. And you may be right. There are some things I am not telling you that are none of anyone's business but he and I. Let's just say he does have other expenses that are valid. While I respect that, and I told him so, that is not my problem, and he needs to get his shit together, pull his head out of his ass, and start being a man, not a fucking boy.

Of course, if this thing blows up on me and costs me my trip to Phoenix, I WILL take it of his ass. And I told him THAT, too.

I am way too fucking nice sometimes. I am the nicest motherfucker on the planet, and that kid is the luckiest son of a bitch alive.

[Becks]

"Won't it be hard playing gigs without your fucking fingers? How's that for tough, motherfucker!?!?"

A man after my own heart.