One crisis is over, another is just beginning (language and long)

[tropicsgoddess]

Another thing is probably my lack of really knowing how to deal with females. My siblings and half-siblings are all male, and a lot of my friends growing up were guys, so I have no idea how to deal with these psycho bitches. My mindset is hardwired on 'tell it like it is,' none of the 'girl games' BS that the MIL and SILs seem to play and know all too well. If I pulled half the crap they pull, my brothers would not hesitate to dislocate my jaw.

I should explain. In my world growing up, disagreements and feuds and such were settled in a throwdown. Whoever had the least bodily harm was the winner. I realize this is not the way all families solve their problems, but in this case, I kind of wish it was. Because then I could install spikes on my wheelchair wheels and grind their legs to mush. Just saying.

I grew up in a predominantly female environment (back in the day at home, it was me, my little sisters, mom and dad) and I had more girl than guy friends and also cousins and such. Bitchy women are about putting people into submission by intimidation or manipulating the crap out of people to get what they want. One big way bitchy women manipulate is with their emotions: they'll put on the whole martyr/try and make you feel or look like shit/waterworks type of deal. You owned their asses well, Golden with reaming out MIL and banning her and SILs from visiting The Dane at the hospital. I would love to see those bitches you're forced to call your MIL and SILs get clobbered along with a few people I know IRL that I won't metion their names.

[Becks]

I could install spikes on my wheelchair wheels and grind their legs to mush. Just saying.

I think I have another girl crush.

[goldaries13]

I think I have another girl crush.

Sad thing is, I've wanted to do that since I've had the wheelchair. My mother wouldn't let me when I lived with her because of costs (I found someone willing to do it, but it was expensive, about $300), and my husband won't let me because he's "worried about potential lawsuits." Bah! Bullocks to that, I say! Let them sue! If they're dumb enough to get in my way, they're too dumb to sue!

*rereads* Now I see why my mother says I have two personalities: The hippie-dippy flower child born too late, and Eleanor Abernathy. Cookies to those who know what I mean.

[goldaries13]

Not much to report, except a phone call from one of my SILs I wanted to share.

SIL bitch from hell: GA13, I heard you and Mama had an argument yesterday.
Me: ...Your point?
SILBFH: Well, Mama said you banned her from the house. Don't you think that isolating my brother from his family would be detrimental to his health?
Me: *brain-to-mouth filter fizzles and dies* No, as a matter of fact, I think it will do wonders for his health not to be around you shrieking harpies.
SILBFH: What?!?!?!11?!
Me: * well, we're already going to hell, let's go in style* You heard me. Right now he needs positive thoughts and positive people, and quite frankly, none of you qualify. And quite frankly, your mother's lucky I didn't go totally apeshit on her, because honestly, your mother is the type of woman who needs a kick to the crotch. Where I come from, women fight their own battles, not get their daughters to do it, or try and guilt their sons into it.
SILBFH: Well, I'm telling Mama to go ahead and take you to court! I was on your side before, but I'm not now!
Me: Please do. Tell that raging cunt harpy I'll be glad to see her in court. I'll even let everyone else in court do the laughing for me. And as for your support, I need it like I need a case of crabs. Good day. *click*

Okay, so maybe the 'raging cunt harpy' comment was out of line. I can't help but at their stupidity.

[SengaKitty]

And quite frankly, your mother's lucky I didn't go totally apeshit on her, because honestly, your mother is the type of woman who needs a kick to the crotch.
...... (snip!)

Me: Please do. Tell that raging cunt harpy I'll be glad to see her in court. I'll even let everyone else in court do the laughing for me. And as for your support, I need it like I need a case of crabs. Good day. *click*

Okay, so maybe the 'raging cunt harpy' comment was out of line. I can't help but at their stupidity.

That was AWESOME I've thought about calling my MIL a raging cunt harpy and never had the nerve. You are now my hero.

[Shpepper]

Not much to report, except a phone call from one of my SILs I wanted to share.

SIL bitch from hell: GA13, I heard you and Mama had an argument yesterday.
Me: ...Your point?
SILBFH: Well, Mama said you banned her from the house. Don't you think that isolating my brother from his family would be detrimental to his health?
Me: *brain-to-mouth filter fizzles and dies* No, as a matter of fact, I think it will do wonders for his health not to be around you shrieking harpies.
SILBFH: What?!?!?!11?!
Me: * well, we're already going to hell, let's go in style* You heard me. Right now he needs positive thoughts and positive people, and quite frankly, none of you qualify. And quite frankly, your mother's lucky I didn't go totally apeshit on her, because honestly, your mother is the type of woman who needs a kick to the crotch. Where I come from, women fight their own battles, not get their daughters to do it, or try and guilt their sons into it.
SILBFH: Well, I'm telling Mama to go ahead and take you to court! I was on your side before, but I'm not now!
Me: Please do. Tell that raging cunt harpy I'll be glad to see her in court. I'll even let everyone else in court do the laughing for me. And as for your support, I need it like I need a case of crabs. Good day. *click*

Okay, so maybe the 'raging cunt harpy' comment was out of line. I can't help but at their stupidity.

BRAVO ! ! ! Well done.

[Der Cute]

You pulled the MamaBear/LovingWife skill out of your magic bag, and gave it to her with both barrels.

Fine by me. Be short, to the point, and make it VERY clear about boundaries. Your job now is to make sure you and Hubby have shelter, food, hospital care. Anyone else coming into the picture is to help you get those 3 major things done. If they don't see that, they can go take a long walk offa short pier.

Maybe I can install some laser-guns to your wheelchair....start calling you Gunny. Hmm.. Ideas .

Go take care of you and Dane, and remember: Shelter, Food, Hospital Care. Whiney shrews = Not Allowed.

Here's a choc chip cookie *hands cookie*, and Loves from my kitty Fuzzy.

We're here to hear you!

Cutenoob

[tropicsgoddess]

GoldenAries, that was AWESOME how you told that bitch what for!

[goldaries13]

Sorry I didn't post yesterday; much the good drama and I wanted to savor it.

First, on the legal front: The Dane and I are visiting a lawyer on Thursday, both to see our options on his mother's legal posturing, and get things in orders should something fuck up medically. I know, I know, but better safe than sorry.

Speaking of getting things in order, apparently the Dane has been hiding a safe deposit box on me. He explained it was a safety measure in case he died suddenly and his mother and sisters fucked me over. There's not much in it, other than a sizeable stack of emergency cash, and everything concerning the Dane's portion of his father's estate, but the Dane wants to make sure I'm taken care of; the way he put it, "Better that you sell property that you have no emotional attachment to than your family heirlooms." I hate when he takes the wind out of my sails like that: I was all ready to yell at him!

And finally, some really happy news: even though we've only been married a month and a half, the Dane wants us to renew our vows this summer, in front of family and friends (since the last ceremony was a five minute trip to city hall in our jeans). It'll take place at the house of a friend of ours, since this guy says he has a few acres he can spare.

This is the dress we decided I should wear. What do you think?

[Eireann]

I think it's stunning. It's beautiful, not at all gaudy, not overblown in any way, while saying "bride" to me.

Can I send you a card?

[AdminAssistant]

Lovely dress!

I think it's very sweet that you're renewing your vows, and I'm really glad that you're seeing a lawyer.

[Tireana Dorcha]

I know, I know, but better safe than sorry.

You don't even have to look at the legal stuff as you expecting the worst, so don't even try to beat yourself up for that . This is something every married couple should do, even if their MIL isn't a raving cunt harpy with a 2X4 shoved up her butt sideways. You should even make sure that you have your legal documents all taken care of at the same time, and evey couple of years or so, y'all two should go back over them to make sure they still cover everything you want it to and make changes as are appropriate.

And the dress is lovely! Make sure you send us pictures!

[SengaKitty]

The dress is gorgeous! I'd love to send you a card as well I'm happy you guys are going to a lawyer, but even happier to hear of the renewal of vows Enjoy it my dear, enjoy it.

BTW, it sounds like you found a real catch in the Dane. I'm very glad you found each other, no matter what hapens.

[AccountingDrone]

very spiffy, I love the beadwork. Should look good in a chair, draw the eyes up instead of to the chair. Dont forget to post wedding piccies =)

[dalesys]

The dress is lovely.

I've always thought that the most beautiful part of a bridal dress was the stuffing.