The dreaded LDR.....

[AccountingDrone]

You two are not human.

Curses my cover is blown .... time for a face transplant =)

[Jester]

Maybe I missed it, but what's keeping Nurse Betty et. al. from moving to Key West for the duration? Being a nurse is a pretty high demand occupation. I'd think she could easily find a job just about anywhere until y'all figured out what's what.

1. As has been pointed out, I am actively trying to get shit together to move back to Phoenix. This is something that has been on my brain and in my plans since before this whole thing started with Nurse Betty. And I have numerous reasons for it.
2. She has kids.
.....2. a. Her kids are happy in Phoenix.
.....2. b. Key West is no place to raise kids.
3. She just bought a house, and got a great deal on it. And her mortgage is far less than my apartment's rent, and so less than what she would pay simply to RENT here. (She does have kids, you know.)
4. It is very early in the relationship, despite the number of years we've been friends, for us to be living together, either in Key West or Phoenix
5. She has a pretty good job as a nurse in Phoenix.
.....5. a. There is only one hospital in Key West.
.....5. b. They don't pay very well.

There are other reasons on top of the above listed ones, but you get the basic gist of it, I hope.

[friendofjimmyk]

when we met up this time, things took a sharp left turn into Whatthehelljusthappenedville. We hooked up.


Warts.

First of all, after reading your "We hooked up" statement and then seeing the subtitle, "warts" - I'm glad that didn't go where my silly little mind first went.

I did not read any other responses, so forgive me if I am repeating information...

Enjoy the moment. You have a friend that you hooked up with and now are in daily contact. You never know what life will bring you...maybe you go to Phoenix, maybe you don't. Maybe something else comes along in Key West, maybe it won't.

In my opinion, if the thought of moving stresses you out - i.e. no money to do so, no possible job prospects when you get to Pheonix - maybe its not supposed to happen...ever. In my experience...if thoughts are stressful, then they aren't true. Maybe what happened between the two of you was just supposed to be what it was...a one time, fantastic thing that you have a memory of forever. There are an infinite number of possibilities here...but trust your instincts...go with what your gut tells you. The differences you bring up are something to definitely take note of and not just toss to the side because of a good hook up between two good friends.

I don't know...I could go on and on..but I'll stop there.

1. As has been pointed out, I am actively trying to get shit together to move back to Phoenix. This is something that has been on my brain and in my plans since before this whole thing started with Nurse Betty. And I have numerous reasons for it.

Okay, I just saw this...I can see moving because you want to and you have been planning it...but don't do it before you're ready...but I'm sure you are aware of that.

[WageSlaveofDoom]

What's one more opinion in the crowd?

I've been doing the LDR thing for about three years. He's within driving distance, so it's not even remotely as frustrating as what you're going through, but the one major difference between my situation and yours is one that I'm surprised people aren't mentioning...

I LOVE living in the city. My guy doesn't to the point of loathing, and he knows I do. I do not plan on ever moving out of the city, and he's not coming here. It's a frustrating but accepted part of this relationship.

You have been planning to move back to Phoenix for a while now, regardless of recent romantic endeavors. When you do get back there, even if it takes another year to save up and find a decent enough job, the two of you will be able to finally explore this relationship properly. There's a bittersweet masochism in maintaining a LDR, but knowing that you'll definitely be together eventually will give you strength. And even if things don't work out in a romantic capacity, you're not just moving home for her. You're moving HOME.

I've always admired your ability to be objective, and to take a fair view of the situation, so I'm sure nothing I'm saying is a revelation, but I think you'll do just fine. Keep a saving plan, and sign up for email notices from travel websites so you can find special travel discounts so you can get your Nurse Betty fix(these usually annoying emails were a godsend when I was finally able to visit desperately missed friends and needed last minute airfare). See if she (and the rest of your posse in Phoenix) can keep a lookout for some juicy job opportunities for you, and try to get you connected. Scout everything as much as you can, and if things fall into place, go for it.

Best of luck, and please keep us posted!

[Slytovhand]

I've got nothing to say on LDR's... and my experience with relationships won't count for much, so I'll just chuck in 3 things.

Firstly, I'm surprised at how this hasn't been stressed so far (but only briefly mentioned)... apparently, the best marriages are between friends. Either, they start as friends, or very quickly turn into a friendship. When one of my friends broke up, she said the worst bit was that she was losing her best friend... so - on that alone, I'd say your relationship is coming from a great starting point. You already know most of your habits, talents, traits etc etc. And, you know how to argue and fight with each other... and know you can get over it!

Secondly, you sound pretty happy - cool!

Thirdly, when I read your OP (and then when you dropped in your very small font...), my very first instinct said 1 year. 1 year, and we'll be hearing wedding bells (well, at least talk of such things...). Course, my instincts have been known to be inaccurate!


Good LUCK!!!!

[Jester]

When one of my friends broke up, she said the worst bit was that she was losing her best friend.

Actually, that was one of her arguments against getting involved, because she believes that if this romance between us doesn't work out, we will no longer be friends. I disagree with that assessment, and have told her I will always be her friend, but I do acknowledge that there would be certain circumstances under which the relationship could end that would not necessarily allow for that.

You already know most of your habits, talents, traits etc etc. And, you know how to argue and fight with each other... and know you can get over it!

Not really, on either count.

See, while we have been friends for over 20 years, I don't really know her habits per se, not like I do with, say, my best friend Neets.

As for the arguments and fights, well, that is very new. I was aware of her fiery temper, sure, but we never really had these kinds of fights. We have literally had more fights in the month of this relationship than we did in the 20+ years prior as friends.

...you sound pretty happy

I am. I really, really am.

AND SHE'S COMING HERE FOR THE FOURTH OF JULY WEEKEND! Yes, I am very very happy.

[SengaKitty]

AND SHE'S COMING HERE FOR THE FOURTH OF JULY WEEKEND! Yes, I am very very happy.

Yes, I'm still looking for tickets for you, and yes I'm still looking at rings

[Jester]

Tickets, yes.

Way too early for rings, dear. As you well know.

[SengaKitty]

I'm just looking

[Jester]

The Fourth of July tickets have been purchased. She's coming to Key West. Wooo hooooo!!!!!

She doesn't want me to embarrass her. I wonder how much a reggae band or a steel drummer costs...........

[Slytovhand]

Woo hoo!!!

Sure you can't get a friend to do some skywriting??

[Jester]

Slyt, I probably could. I do, after all, know private charter pilots down here, though I am not sure if any of them do skywriting. (I have never seen skywriting down here, and I've been here for 10 years.)

However, I have plenty of other wonderful options, including a magic bar, a bar on the roof of the tallest building in town for sunset, sunset cruises, a gourmet dinner cruise run by a friend of mine, the Sunset Celebration at Mallory Square, Martini Monday, dancing at various places, friendships with many of the musicians on the island (meaning it will be difficult for us to be anywhere without someone with a mic embarrassing her--actually more like impossible since I will make sure they do just that!), access to places and things that a lot of people don't necessarily have access to (it pays to be well-known!), the wonderful fireworks displays they have down here for the Fourth (I hope to arrange to watch them from a boat, as that always rocks!), etc., etc.

Of course, from some things she has said, the above is merely a list of some options we may have, but probably won't get to, as we will be busy.....elsewhere.

[Slytovhand]

Of course, from some things she has said, the above is merely a list of some options we may have, but probably won't get to, as we will be busy.....elsewhere.

Oh, so you're not going to be staying in Key West then?

[Jester]

Oh, so you're not going to be staying in Key West then?

Oh, we'll be staying in Key West. I just meant that we might not be venturing out much.....

In other news, I pointed out something to Nurse Betty tonight that she did not realize. 21 years ago this very day (June 2, 1988), she and I graduated our high school.

In vaguely related news, 9 years ago this very day (June 2, 2000) was the very first day of my first professional magician gig (which would end up going for over 4 years).