so apparently because I'm weirded out by this, I'm a cynical paranoid bitch

[Talon]

You know, mr. Creepshow sounds a little like this guy:

http://melodymaker.posterous.com/the...gle-very-funny

The story is this: a girl was out with friends having drinks on King St (in Toronto ). This guy approaches her and won't leave her alone -saying how cute she is. She finally gives in and hands the guy her business card to get rid of him.
The attached is an MP3 file of not one, but TWO voicemails this guy left. This goes down in the history books - especially the second voice mail.
After hearing them you can clearly see why she didn't call him back - instead she called in to the Z103.5 morning show & had them play this on the air.
Ladies: He is out there...

Well maybe not quite, unlike the voicemail loser Creepy didn't go on about how great he is in his little stalker manifesto. But joking aside, I'm not sure if that little non-self-gushing detail should make me more or less worried.

[Ghel]

I know you already decided not to contact him, and I'm glad. I also know that I tend to overanalyze things, but here's my analysis:

He knew it would seem strange. He complimented your looks but nothing else about you. He put his name in quotes. He put friends in quotes. He didn't give you his full name (I assume) or his address.

Yeah, creepy. Scary, even. If you're not going to report it to the police right away, put the date you found it on the note using a post-it. Then, if he does try to contact you again, you don't have to try to remember when you received the original note.

[MaggieTheCat]

Holy wow, I missed a lot while I was on a plane en route to Wisconsin last night.

Lupo, as I read the note as you quoted it, my jaw dropped and I kept thinking "creepy creepy creepy" before I even read the rest of your post. When I saw that your mom and friend thought it was "cute" and whatnot, my jaw hit the floor. What the hell!? I'm sorry to say this, but their actions in this circumstance basically tell you not to trust them to give you good, solid advice in the future, at least when it comes to situations involving guys and/or relationships. If I were you, I would not bring this subject up with either of them again, and I would NEVER tell them about any kind of problem or situation that's remotely like this that you might encounter in the future. I just would not trust their judgment.

Yes, the note is creepy. No, you are not cold at all for being concerned about it. As everyone else has pointed out, your instincts are going crazy here, and for good reason. Listen to them. ALWAYS listen to them. You've been in other situations, if I recall, in which your instincts have been right and proven to help you, so do not ignore them, in this situation or ever in the future.

Keep the note, don't contact him. Also make note of when and where and how you found it. I agree with going to the leasing office now to let them know they have a potential stalker on their premises, not that they can probably do anything at this point, but just to keep them in the loop. Our apartment back in Texas is set up like yours, that has doors leading directly outside, so we don't have much security either. But, better to keep them informed. I don't know how or why they would do this, but if this really does become a problem, they could pull a "well why weren't we informed of this situation earlier" card and just add more stress.

Keep mace or pepper spray with you at all times. I'm pretty sure I've read in another post that you do anyway, which is good! Be very very aware of your surroundings when you're walking around your apartment complex; don't daydream or think about that book you're reading or that assignment you have to finish for class. I know it sounds like an easy thing to do, but it's really easy for people to let their minds wander when they're doing something very familiar to them, like walk the path that they take home every day 5 days a week. You get used to walking that path, so you don't pay as close attention to your surroundings. Actively CONCENTRATE on where you're going and what's around you. I don't say this to encourage you to "catch" the guy, if he's following you, just to make you aware so that you're not caught off-guard in case he does approach you.

As far as being a virgin, I was 23 my first time and it was with the man I'm married to now (who was 25 and it was his first time, too)...so it was definitely worth waiting for. Don't feel bad about it; this is another one of those situations in which your instincts are telling you something and they're right!

Edit to add: The other thing I thought of when I read the note is that it sounded... "generic." Was it typed or hand-written? Even if it was hand-written, it could be that this guy might be going around to other apartments that have single gals in them and putting the same note on the door. Heck, it could even be some kind of scam by a guy who doesn't even live in the complex.

Lots of hugs and chocolate chip cookies. Keep us updated.

[NightAngel]

Stalker or creepy or not- I would take the card to the apartment office and talk to them about it.

You don't have to go there to get him in trouble necessarily but they should be aware of what is going on.

[SG15Z]

I'd already decided my course of action would be to do nothing, but hold on to the card as evidence if you will. If I get another note or something, I'm going to the leasing office and letting the manager know what's going on and that I'll probably be bringing in the police.

Yes because they've been so helpful in the past.

[Gravekeeper]

See, you make the first comment, and then prove it utterly wrong with the (utterly brilliant) second comment.

Bastard.

But you say all the important stuff, so all I need to do is come in and make quirky observations. ;p

[protege]

I'm so hard hearted because I'm not willing to give a complete stranger a chance who has been watching me for 4 months, knows where I live, and can't even give me the same information? Just a name in quotes and a random cell #? I'm not going to call it because then he'll have my number, and I dont' want him knowing anything else about me!!

Hard-hearted? Hell no. There's something wrong with this guy. Checking someone out is one thing...this guy went way beyond that. By "way beyond," I mean, he flew over the line with a 747 and is now in a holding zone above the airport in Creepyville.

I too find it a bit odd that he knows all your info, but doesn't have the balls to leave his own. Sorry, but that shit doesn't fly (pun intended.) At least the bastard should respect you enough to include proper info.

So, am I wrong to be creeped out by this? Am I overreacting? Am I really that much of a cold, hard-hearted bitch monster? I didn't think so, but apparently I might be. The very thought is actually making me tear up right now, and that only serves to piss me off a little because I don't think I'm cold.

You're not cold. If you were, I really don't think you'd be worried about it. People who are truly "cold," don't give a shit.

I know I have a lot of issues when it comes to men, and I'm in no way ready for any kind of relationship, but that doesn't make me cold, does it? I would have thought that means I know about myself. I'm painfully shy when it comes to the opposite sex.

You're not the only one. I have a lot of issues when it comes to women. Anyone who has read my LJ knows that It's not the talking to them that's the problem...but landing them. I seem to do better chatting online for some reason.

And to make matters worse, I'm getting told that I'm 25, soon to be 26, and still a virgin, so obviously there's something wrong with me. What the hell??

I turned 33 last June. Sure, I've had girlfriends (and no, I'm *not* revealing all the gory details. You want that info, go find it ), but since the last one was quite awhile ago, after people find out my age...I get to hear about how I need to land someone and settle down. Sorry, not happening.

[Eireann]

Mae beat me to it - DEFINITELY, go to the police and show them the note. Maybe they can fingerprint it to see if the prints belong to someone with a criminal record. Or maybe I've seen too many crime shows.

A guy once followed me home and left a flower and a note in front of my door, claiming that he wanted to make sure I got home okay, because he'd seen me walking from the bus stop, and it was night, and all. Like your mom, my mom didn't see anything dangerous, or potentially dangerous, in it. The guy even tried that "I'm so humble" approach by writing, "If for some strange reason you might want to contact me..."

Yeah, that WOULD be a strange reason. He used to try to start up a conversation with me when I walked past his house, too, and he "just happened" to be sitting on the porch. I ignored him profoundly, and he still tried it!

Some people just don't have a clue. Some don't want to have a clue. No healthy person leaves notes on your door telling you how great you are, UNLESS you are already in a good relationship with that person, and it's his/her way of being sweet. This guy? If he thinks leaving a note on your door is the way to go, he just isn't going to listen to you, or anyone else, telling him otherwise.

Please go to the police with the note, so they are fully informed if the guy tries anything else.

[lupo pazzesco]

Wow, 3 pages in the span of one night. Impressive.

I'd already decided my course of action would be to do nothing, but hold on to the card as evidence if you will. If I get another note or something, I'm going to the leasing office and letting the manager know what's going on and that I'll probably be bringing in the police.

As for security cameras? My apartment complex isn't one with long hallways. It's actually individual units, with doors that open to the outside, if that makes sense. So, yeah, very little security. and just from observing neighbors who live around my apartment, most are married/with someone & even have kids, old enough to be my parents (or grandparents) or just plain creepy/wannabe gangsters with no sense of hygiene whatsoever. Not anyone I think I'd be interested in.

Glad to know I'm not the only one who's getting the creeped out vibe from this. Honestly, with everything that's happened to me this year, and how out of whack my mental and emotional states have been, I was truly wondering if maybe my instincts are off balance, and it could be right I'm overreacting because I'm not myself. But having it reinforced that I'm not is reassuring that I'm still able to gauge situations. This is always a good thing

Thanks everyone!

[El Pollo Guerrera]

I'm with the "he's a potential stalker" crowd here, but that doesn't solve the problem of not knowing who he is.

You live in an apartment, right? Are there security cameras in the halls? Maybe you could talk to the manager (as already mentioned). If not, maybe he/she has seen someone around that seemed out of place.

[Jester]

I like when Jester posts on these threads, saves me from having to say much.

There's a difference between being a cold hearted bitch and trying to avoid ending up tied to post in someone's basement spread eagle in a girl's scout uniform with a happy face drawn over your actual face with a sharpie.

See, you make the first comment, and then prove it utterly wrong with the (utterly brilliant) second comment.

Bastard.

[Red_Dazes]

I'm gonna side with everyone else and say "Creepy" I would be going to my apartment manager as soon as the note showed up and raising hell.... well maybe not hell... but letting him know what was going on and that it was making me uncomfortable. Your mom and your friends need to pull their heads out of "Fairy Tale" land and into the real world... cause I read that 3 times and I can't find a single way that is "Cute" Gave me the chills.

As for the other part, don't stress about being a virgin hun. Nothing wrong with that as far as I can tell, much more important things in life than sex... at least until you find that someone.... and I don't mean creepy note man.

[Keiara]

Very creepy. The tone of that note is drenched with creepiness. I wish your family and friends were more supportive.

Add me to the ignore him bandwagon.

As for your virginity.... Your choice. Your business. Nothing is wrong with you hun

[iradney]

It's terribly sad Lupo...that your own mother could be that cold towards you!! Men and sex are not the be all and end all!

Ignore the note. It's too squicky and tries too hard. If he writes you again, ignore again, but still, keep the notes.

[Soulstealer]

You're not wrong, that is BEYOND creepy. Your mom and one friend, I hate to say, are either completely naive or living in a fantasy world. Or both.

Definitely fantasy world, but then we grow up with society telling us that if a guy really cares for you he should continue to pursue you even if you don't like it and that no is just a postponement of yes.

Like everyone else has been saying don't respond to the letter and you might want to be careful around your apartment complex for a bit to be on the safe side.