so apparently because I'm weirded out by this, I'm a cynical paranoid bitch

[lupo pazzesco]

I agree with RK and SG regarding what Mysty said. I wouldn't have been as weirded out by admissions of sweat boot rash. () And it would've been sweet if he'd admitted that right off instead of going on and on and on about my looks and how he's essentially had an eye on me for months...

Either way, no other contact, so I'm guessing he's gotten the clue that I'm not going to call. Still wary, but not as paranoid coming home, thinking someone's watching from behind their blinds with a telephoto lens...

I'm babbling aren't I? Lupo's up past her bedtime again, folks, especially since it's another, get up at 5 am day tomorrow...night night!!

[SG15Z]

There's a way to make note-on-the-door work. "Hi, my name is Terry. I live down the way and I'd like to ask you out but I'm kinda shy/you're hard to catch up with/I have sweaty boot rash/whatever the reason is. If you'd like to call me, my number is 111-1111. I'm sorry if this seems a little unusual and I'll understand if you're turned off by it. Thought it couldn't hurt to ask!" A little weird still, yes, but polite and not...yeek.

Oh yeah much less freaky. In fact that's what I would call "sweet".

[RecoveringKinkoid]

That's exactly right, Mysty. It is hard to meet people, so if you see someone you might like to meet, you may have to resort to sticking a note where she'll find it. However, the wording he used was assinine and could be construed as threatening. Had the note said what you wrote, I'd have had a very different reaction.

[MystyGlyttyr]

This mom and one friend who think that's "sweet"...they're not Twilight fans by chance, are they?

Just saying because of how many people think old whats-his-face stalking Bella Goth or whatever her name is in there is "sweet" while the rest of us think "Holy fuck."

There's a way to make note-on-the-door work. "Hi, my name is Terry. I live down the way and I'd like to ask you out but I'm kinda shy/you're hard to catch up with/I have sweaty boot rash/whatever the reason is. If you'd like to call me, my number is 111-1111. I'm sorry if this seems a little unusual and I'll understand if you're turned off by it. Thought it couldn't hurt to ask!" A little weird still, yes, but polite and not...yeek.

[BroSCFischer]

"wow, that's creepy"

Yes, yes it is.

I'm painfully shy when it comes to the opposite sex.

And to make matters worse, I'm getting told that I'm 25, soon to be 26, and still a virgin, so obviously there's something wrong with me. What the hell??

Why does this sound familiar? Oh wait, I know, it sounds an awful lot like ME! Except I'm older, and a guy.

I don't know what to think or do, and I'm already stressed about school starting, I so didn't need this on top of it.

and when I try to explain this to my mom and my friend, I get shrugs and told that I'm just too paranoid about everything so of course I'm automatically going to react negatively over something like this.

Thanks, guys.

I think you are following the correct course of action. My sister had a stalker, and she and my mom handled it somewhat similarly (eventually going to the cops).

Let me reiterate though, that ANY further communication from this guy should be taken to the police immediately. I know from reading your past posts you have friends (or are at least friendly with people) in law enforcement. You may want to casually bring it up to them for some further advice. If I remember correctly, they hang out at your job this time of year quite frequently. It may not be in their jurisdiction, but they can definitley give you some GOOD advice (not that the CS crew can't).

OMFG!!!! Yes, you can guess why he's single, and the last relationship was long distance...

I think his last relationship was of a closer variety, and they are still frequently involved. Wasn't her name "Hannah", and she has a few female siblings if I remember aright.

SC

[TTAZ]

Is anybody else seeing the similarities between the card and spam emails? To me it reads exactly like one of those ads that was obviously done by a spambot.

"Are you looking for a new career in [NAME OF CITY ALWAYS IN CAPS]? Want to be your own boss? Tired of going to the same office day after day? Check out [SOME SCAM SYSTEM TO WORK FROM HOME MAKING OBSCENE AMOUNTS OF $$$ IF YOU ONLY PAY THESE PEOPLE FOR AN INFO PACKET OF EASILY AVAILABLE PUBLIC INFORMATION]"

See what I mean? Here is what I would do-

Google that number, see what pops up
Google something like- note on door from "TERRY", see what pops up

I just get the feeling that "TERRY" is part of a scam operation. Instead of emails that get tossed, why not invest in some cheap cards and put on the personal touch? I bet the cell phone is a throwaway and if you called it (which you definitely SHOULD NOT) "TERRY" would turn out to need $$$ to come to you and sweep you off your feet. If you refuse "TERRY" will play to your insecurities and flattery eventually turning downright beligerent.

Lupo, you should be freaked, yes. But I do not think you have a stalker, I think you are part of one of the STUPIDEST marketing ploys ever developed for a scam artist. Google that stuff, if it turns out it's a scam or you find anything else shady, turn it in to the cops.

Just my $0.02

[RecoveringKinkoid]

You know, I just reread the OP, and it says Lupo's "admirer" put her apt. number on the envelope.

Why would he need to do that? He knows where she lives, and that he's putting it on her door...

Unless he's done it to more than one door.

Ew.

[SG15Z]

Oh and about the whole virginity thing. I'm 21 and still a virgin. Then again I'm waiting till after marriage. It's not a big deal to me.

[wagegoth]

I've never had a stalker, but I have had some very persistent suitors (I'm being nice, okay) who did not understand that when I say, "No," it really does mean no. I'd do exactly what you are doing, Lupo: hang onto the note and see what happens. Any more notes, flowers, gifts, etc., go to the management and call the police.


BTW, just to scare anyone who isn't getting this, here's the background of Dimitri the stud:

http://www.mahalo.com/dimitri-the-lover

[Eireann]

He's also had four months to try to approach you, and this is the best he can do? Note what your schedule is so that he can tape something to your door without you realizing it at the time?

At best, at VERY best, the guy is thoroughly clueless and doesn't know - or worse, doesn't care - that this is a great way to freak out a woman. I stand by my recommendation to go to the police. If he didn't mean anything, a little visit from the boys in blue might show him that, in the future, it's best to find another way to approach someone he finds attractive. If he's one of the scary people, the police will then take you seriously if you go to them later with a complaint.

[Akasa]

Seeing as I've been in the unenviable position of being stalked my reaction was inform police and leasing office, and carry around something like mace of a knife(if you know how to use one) for self defense.
Then again, I HAVE been stalked before. Makes one jumpy.

[Hyena Dandy]

There is a possibility (since I'm a hopeless optimist, I'll say a good one) that he's just a nice guy who sucks at talking to people and probably has seen one too many romantic comedies. I'm an optimist, but I'm also practical, and the chance that he's a good guy is still overweighed by the consequences if he's not.

But still, he's clearly going on far too much about your appearance, which is annoying because he barely says two words about wanting to actually get to KNOW you. Also, he says he's been watching you for FOUR MONTHS before writing a note and sticking it to your door.

Even if he IS just a nice guy, and not a crazy stalker, if he's been watching you for several months (watching to him might just mean 'noticing in the halls' and not actively watching) then he's probably built up an unrealistic idea of what he thinks you're like, so that even if you DID go out with him, he would end up being upset that you're not who he wants you to be, and you would end up in the (believe me, I know) VERY unenviable position of being in a relationship where you're competing for affection with someone who IS ALSO YOURSELF. (I've also been in one where I had to compete for attention with a fictional character, and one where I was competing with someone who is now my boyfriend. However, that someone is totally worth it =)

Enough about me though.)

[AdminAssistant]

He may be shy. He may be a creep. He may be a kid. But, in my opinion, better to be safe than hogtied and gagged in the back of someone's car.

Lupo, I don't think you're over-reacting. I think the plan of action you've decided is the smartest way to go. That would creep me out, too. And I think it's very sad that your family doesn't see it that way.

Oh, and I was just 16. I wish I had been older.

[kibbles]

The suggestion to talk to the police would be overreacting big time IMO.

[MadMike]

I'd be pretty creeped out too. Maybe, just maybe he's harmless and sincere, but you just can't be too careful these days. Too many fucked up people out there.