so apparently because I'm weirded out by this, I'm a cynical paranoid bitch

[SG15Z]

I'd already decided my course of action would be to do nothing, but hold on to the card as evidence if you will. If I get another note or something, I'm going to the leasing office and letting the manager know what's going on and that I'll probably be bringing in the police.

Yes because they've been so helpful in the past.

[NightAngel]

Stalker or creepy or not- I would take the card to the apartment office and talk to them about it.

You don't have to go there to get him in trouble necessarily but they should be aware of what is going on.

[MaggieTheCat]

Holy wow, I missed a lot while I was on a plane en route to Wisconsin last night.

Lupo, as I read the note as you quoted it, my jaw dropped and I kept thinking "creepy creepy creepy" before I even read the rest of your post. When I saw that your mom and friend thought it was "cute" and whatnot, my jaw hit the floor. What the hell!? I'm sorry to say this, but their actions in this circumstance basically tell you not to trust them to give you good, solid advice in the future, at least when it comes to situations involving guys and/or relationships. If I were you, I would not bring this subject up with either of them again, and I would NEVER tell them about any kind of problem or situation that's remotely like this that you might encounter in the future. I just would not trust their judgment.

Yes, the note is creepy. No, you are not cold at all for being concerned about it. As everyone else has pointed out, your instincts are going crazy here, and for good reason. Listen to them. ALWAYS listen to them. You've been in other situations, if I recall, in which your instincts have been right and proven to help you, so do not ignore them, in this situation or ever in the future.

Keep the note, don't contact him. Also make note of when and where and how you found it. I agree with going to the leasing office now to let them know they have a potential stalker on their premises, not that they can probably do anything at this point, but just to keep them in the loop. Our apartment back in Texas is set up like yours, that has doors leading directly outside, so we don't have much security either. But, better to keep them informed. I don't know how or why they would do this, but if this really does become a problem, they could pull a "well why weren't we informed of this situation earlier" card and just add more stress.

Keep mace or pepper spray with you at all times. I'm pretty sure I've read in another post that you do anyway, which is good! Be very very aware of your surroundings when you're walking around your apartment complex; don't daydream or think about that book you're reading or that assignment you have to finish for class. I know it sounds like an easy thing to do, but it's really easy for people to let their minds wander when they're doing something very familiar to them, like walk the path that they take home every day 5 days a week. You get used to walking that path, so you don't pay as close attention to your surroundings. Actively CONCENTRATE on where you're going and what's around you. I don't say this to encourage you to "catch" the guy, if he's following you, just to make you aware so that you're not caught off-guard in case he does approach you.

As far as being a virgin, I was 23 my first time and it was with the man I'm married to now (who was 25 and it was his first time, too)...so it was definitely worth waiting for. Don't feel bad about it; this is another one of those situations in which your instincts are telling you something and they're right!

Edit to add: The other thing I thought of when I read the note is that it sounded... "generic." Was it typed or hand-written? Even if it was hand-written, it could be that this guy might be going around to other apartments that have single gals in them and putting the same note on the door. Heck, it could even be some kind of scam by a guy who doesn't even live in the complex.

Lots of hugs and chocolate chip cookies. Keep us updated.

[Ghel]

I know you already decided not to contact him, and I'm glad. I also know that I tend to overanalyze things, but here's my analysis:

He knew it would seem strange. He complimented your looks but nothing else about you. He put his name in quotes. He put friends in quotes. He didn't give you his full name (I assume) or his address.

Yeah, creepy. Scary, even. If you're not going to report it to the police right away, put the date you found it on the note using a post-it. Then, if he does try to contact you again, you don't have to try to remember when you received the original note.

[Talon]

You know, mr. Creepshow sounds a little like this guy:

http://melodymaker.posterous.com/the...gle-very-funny

The story is this: a girl was out with friends having drinks on King St (in Toronto ). This guy approaches her and won't leave her alone -saying how cute she is. She finally gives in and hands the guy her business card to get rid of him.
The attached is an MP3 file of not one, but TWO voicemails this guy left. This goes down in the history books - especially the second voice mail.
After hearing them you can clearly see why she didn't call him back - instead she called in to the Z103.5 morning show & had them play this on the air.
Ladies: He is out there...

Well maybe not quite, unlike the voicemail loser Creepy didn't go on about how great he is in his little stalker manifesto. But joking aside, I'm not sure if that little non-self-gushing detail should make me more or less worried.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

WOW.

[kibbles]

1. I don't think it's creepy, more that he is not smooth at all or knows how to talk to women or approach them; but, 2. I also don't think it's bitchy not to call back.

[AccountingDrone]

I

Everything that is quoted and capitalized is exactly how it appears on the card. Now, I shared this with my mother and two of my closest friends. Of the 3, only 1 said, "wow, that's creepy" It wasn't my mom.

Instead, I hear from the other two how cute it is, how sweet, and ohmygod when am I gonna call him!?!?!

Um, never?

that is seriously skeevy ... I think if he puts another card on your door you get police or security to go tell the guy to back off ...

[Bradester]

They thought it was cute? Lemme guess, as a kid they thought boys who called you names or pulled your hair only did it 'because they like you.' Hell to the no.

If the guy's not a stalker but genuinely clueless, I think he should step back and think of his actions in terms of a 'how we met' story down the road. Can you imagine your wife telling your children "Oh, he was so shy, so he kept tabs on me for four months before taping a juvenile, unsettling love letter to my front door! It was so romantic!"

Don't sweat the virginity. I'm 24- haven't been kissed, haven't held hands, haven't been on a date that wasn't set up by my yenta mother or sister-in-law.

[Jester]

It's not the talking to them that's the problem...but landing them. I seem to do better chatting online for some reason.

Probably because chatting online is easier and carries less pressure, emotionally and socially. That is true whether you are talking about painfully shy wallflowers or vivacious social butterflies.

[Ree]

Honestly?
Yeah, it's a bit creepy, but I seriously think there is a lot of overreaction going on in this thread.

I know that's probably not going to be a popular opinion, but that's how I see it.

I really don't think he's some sick pervert watching you from the shadows.

He's just an odd and slightly weird guy who made a very poor choice in the way he decided to express his feelings.

I think he's some dude who was too "shy" to speak up in person, and he decided to send the note instead.
I think he probably mistakenly thought it would come off as romantic and mysterious.

Sometimes, nothing ventured, nothing gained, but in this case, he probably should have tried a different tactic.

[lupo pazzesco]

I can see that, Ree. My mom pointed out the same things, but, it's also difficult to convey exactly what the note entailed without actually seeing it. At the same time, I'm not running off to report to all and sundry I have a stalker. I'm going to go with the tact of saying and doing nothing, and only taking it to someone higher up if he persists.

I think part of the reaction came from various sources, one of which being, despite being written, it is the same kind of things that are slurred out to me drunkenly at a bus stop, except only put in written word. At least that's the vibe I got from it. Another contributing factor is my being attacked recently and getting groped by a random stranger. And yet another is having yet another random stranger show up at my door, to tell me I'm gorgeous, I'm beautiful, I'm not married right? and won't I invite him in so we can be friends? And finally, being told that I'm too cold, too hard-hearted, and too paranoid because I was creeped out by this by some of those closest to me really hurt. I was simply trying to give my perspective on it, and got told I'm blowing it completely out of proportion. Possibly true, but still...

Is this guy harmless? Perhaps. Is he a crazy creepazoid watching me from the shadows? Also perhaps. I'm hoping to never find out either way, because, just personally, I don't think it's a good way to go about getting my attention to send me an anonymous note asking to be "FRIENDS", complete with quoty quotes, after rambling about how "Gorgeous" I am several times. Just my take on it.

I do appreciate the input though, and accept that sometimes there are leveler heads than mine, especially in light of recent experiences. I fully admit, I'm more prone to jumping at shadows, and my anxiety has gotten far worse in recent months than usual.

Not sure what point I'm trying to make here, so I think I shall end this babbling and seek my bed. Thanks for the input from everyone, and for Ree, putting it into a different perspective. I think that may have been what my mom and friend were trying to say at one point, but it may not have been coming across given that it immediately followed receiving said note and I was trying to explain my reaction, and there may have been some failed lines of communication.

Night for now, all.

[Lil Bunny]

I just wanted to add some hugs here. Go with your gut, you know if it's creepy or not.

I'm trying to find a good thread for ya to read regarding being "pushed" into relationship/relationship choices. You know that whole "Oh just one date, it won't kill you, I'm a nice guy" type thing? Might help ya with your mom and friend.

Oh and 17. That honestly surprised my current friends. I said oh thanks, I wasn't always evil you freaks.

[saint]

Go with your gut.
Just my 2 cents

[Slytovhand]

I'll side a bit with Ree...

Mostly cos I'm a bit like that person (but only a bit...).

While at first as I read this, I was thinking over-reaction, reading the other posts afterwards was helping to see a little clearer.

So... firstly - always trust your gut... but always make sure it's your gut, and not just your head making excuses!

Secondly, while he may not be the creep everyone is expecting, he still hasn't adequately identified himself. Now, while I may be the letter leaving type (cos I'm from prior to the net/chat days), I will at least let you know who I am (eg, "long haired guy who lives upstairs and says 'Hi' to you when you're walking out the door"). So, while shy, not stupid...

"Terry" in quotes... hopefully he failed English... not hopefully it's weird!


He left you his number.. why not ring it and invite him over or out somewhere?? That way, when you invite him into the basement and have your mates with the baseball bats.... oh, sorry... just getting carried away...

Nah, don't bother!

If, later, he chooses to show himself in person, then see how your instincts fit...


25

(and getting closer to becoming a virgin again... 7 years, isn't it??)