I may get arrested for murder.

[tollbaby]

Well, I was basing my statement on my own experiences I think we all do stupid things at that age, no matter if the entire world tells us we're wrong, we plow ahead with it anyway.

[Taboo]

Well, I was basing my statement on my own experiences I think we all do stupid things at that age, no matter if the entire world tells us we're wrong, we plow ahead with it anyway.

Oh yes, yes we do.

I agree that to a certain extent you'll have to let things run their course and let her make mistakes here. As she would in any relationship - they're just a little more prominent in this one. I would however get very concerned if either of them stops being honest or straightforward with you. The fact that they are not hiding this relationship is a good thing, even if the decision to move in with anyone that quickly was indeed a monumentally stupid one.

[Jester]

Sarah, you have so little faith in the determined stubbornness of a 19 year old

You said what I was already thinking.

She will need to get hurt (unfortunately) before she'll admit she made a mistake.

Or bored. Which has often been what has ended her prior relationships, few of which lasted much longer than a month.

Thankfully they were very supportive when we separated and no one told me "I told you so!"

I hope to be in a position to say "I told you so!" soon.

I also hope I can remember to not actually say it, as that wouldn't accomplish anything.

I would however get very concerned if either of them stops being honest or straightforward with you.

As far as I know, she has not lied to me, though of course, there have been a few things she may not have told me. She has definitely been evasive with her mother, not telling Mom OD's age, and only that they were THINKING of moving in together. I set her Mom straight on both counts. But I am not surprised. I don't expect her to tell me everything. She's a teenager finding her way in the world, and she can't be bothered by overprotective adult fuddy duddies like me or her mom. That's fine, and I get that.

He, on the other hand, has not had a chance to lie to me or not be straightforward with me, as he has yet to talk to me. I talked to Princess on Thursday, and she agreed to set up a one-on-one between me and OD. And then I heard nothing. So Sunday night I texted her, reminding her of this. She said she had talked to him about it, and would get back to me. I made it clear she could have him contact me directly. Now, on Tuesday morning, I have still not heard a word. She said on Thursday it might be a little bit before this happened, which I understand, as we all have our schedules and what not, and this can't be a chat he is looking forward to. *I* wouldn't be rushing into it either, if I were him. That being said, when she told me it might be a little bit, I told her that a few days was fine, a few weeks was not. So, if I have still heard nothing by the end of the week, I will assume that he is ducking me, or that she is ducking the situation and has not told him, and I will simply approach him at his job and tell him we need to talk....or go knock on his front door. Yes, I know where he lives....I made it clear that, for safety/emergency purposes, I needed both his phone number and his address. While she wasn't thrilled about giving me them, it wasn't really a point she could argue all that well.

My friends are guessing that I won't hear from him. I tend to think they're right. Of course, if he is ducking me (despite being twice my size), that doesn't say much about him or his character. Then again, if she hasn't actually told him about this, it might suggest that she can't see that talk going well, either because she thinks I am going to be an ass to him (though I promised to be polite and civil, and did surprise her in our chat by being both of those and not ranting and raving and carrying on), or because she doesn't think he would hold up well under scrutiny.

We shall see. We shall see.

[tollbaby]

Good luck Uncle Jester

I wish I'd had an uncle like you when I was her age. Hell, I wish I had an uncle like you now

[jedimaster91]

OD should take some pointers from Mr Jedi. Those who have just met us don't realize we're almost 10 years apart. Both of us look significantly younger than we really are. When we first met, I was 18 and he was 28. I didn't believe he was that old until he pulled out his driver's license to prove it. We didn't start dating until a couple years later. I had gone through a couple nasty breakups and decided not to "date" anymore, but to just go out and have a good time.

My parents were understandably concerned. So Mr Jedi went to Mama Jedi of his own volition and had a little chat. I'm not sure what was said, but Mama and Papa Jedi gave him their blessing. We were married 10 months later. Still head over heels in love after 2.5 years of marriage.

Now, granted, there are likely some huge differences between OD and Mr Jedi. Mr Jedi is about the most straight-laced person you'll ever meet and we didn't even think of moving in together until we go married. But the point is, a little talk with concerned family members can go a long way.

[Jester]

I wish I had an uncle like you now

What makes you think you don't?

OD should take some pointers from Mr Jedi.

....a little talk with concerned family members can go a long way.

Yes, he should take those pointers.

We are currently on Day 5 of Douche Watch. I had my little talk with Princess Thursday night. She said she would set up a talk between me and OD. By Sunday night, when I had heard exactly nothing, I texted her to inquire about that. She said she had told him, and she would get back to me. I told her he could contact me directly, as I had instructed her to give him my number. She said she would do so.

And here it is, Tuesday, 5 days after the fact, and still not a peep from Ole Doucherino. It is starting to seem more and more like he is ducking me. Which will please neither myself, nor Princess's mother, nor her grandfather, who is a bad-ass Sam Elliot type that would have no problem driving out here and helping me set OD straight. (If ever I am in a fight with Grandpa Badass around, I will be very happy that he will be on my side.) I should point out that, yes, I do have Grandpa Badass's phone number.

Here is my current plan....if by the end of the week I am still hearing Simon and Garfunkel's "The Sound of Silence" from OD's end, I will simply go up to him at his job or knock on his front door and tell him straight out, "We need to have a talk. When would you like this to happen?"

My patience is growing thinner than Lindsay Lohan.

[Shalom]

Nobody's said it yet, and although some people may think that in this day and age it goes without saying, so I apologize in advance if you think this is unnecessary or getting rather too personal for someone who doesn't know you and/or her personally, but speaking as a pharmacist who sometimes has to dispense Plan B and various antibiotics and antivirals, I do think this needs to be said:

I would hope that your niece is taking the appropriate precautions regarding contraception and STD prevention. Last thing she needs at this point in her life is an unwanted present, of one type or another.

[Jester]

Shalom, I am not one of those people that thinks it goes without saying. Princess and I did indeed discuss birth control, as uncomfortable as that part of the discussion was for both of us.

Trust me, I was not letting THAT part go.

[Jester]

Latest update: Still no word from Mr. Wonderful. Two theories on this (though of course there could be other possibilities beyond these two):

1. The fucker is ducking me. Sad, so sad, and doesn't say much about him as a man.

2. Princess is not being entirely honest with me about what she told him, and she may be trying to delay this sit down, worried about what her crazy uncle might say to her New Boyfriend.

I hope for his sake it is #2. Because #1 tells me that he is not man enough to face a guy half his size to explain why his girlfriend's family should not be worried, concerned, or upset that she is moving in and shacking up with a guy more than twice her age and literally her father's age.

I mean, he has to realize that I can't do anything legally. I can't prevent this from happening. I can't put my foot down and say "NO!" As a legal adult, Princess can do whatever the fuck she wants. So what the hell is this dude's problem that he won't even have enough sack to call and say, "Look, I know you want to have a talk with me, and I understand that you and Princess's mother have some concerns about all this, but my schedule's really tight right now, and I want you to know I'm not ducking you, but I just can't make time right now."

But no. Nothing.

He is NOT scoring too many points with me and Princess's Mom right now.

[RestaurantDude]

Have you approached him yourself yet?

[Jester]

No, not yet. As I have said, I am extending Princess the courtesy of setting something up herself.

My courteousness, however, does have an expiration date, and that is approaching rapidly.

[shankyknitter]

My courteousness, however, does have an expiration date, and that is approaching rapidly.

Mayhap you should inform Princess of the expiration date on your courtesy. That might light a fire under her butt if it is option #2. I'd suggest, if you haven't done so already, telling her that if you don't hear from him by Friday(for example) you're going to get a hold of him yourself, since at that point you feel you've given her enough time to attempt to set something up.

[Zellie Crescent]

I know you're just trying to be nice and give him some time to contact you, but he might be using that time to think up excuses for every question you might ask him. I don't think you should wait. I was also thinking for this sit down all four of you should be there Mom, Princess, you, and Od. That way nothing is hidden from anyone.

[ArcticChicken]

I was also thinking for this sit down all four of you should be there Mom, Princess, you, and Od. That way nothing is hidden from anyone.

Mom is too far away right now, and Jester needs a meeting where Princess can't run interference for OD.

Besides, if Jester needs to threaten OD's life and/or testicles, it's better that Princess not witness it.

I do think that a later meeting between Jester, Princess and OD might not be a bad idea, just so everyone can lay their cards on the table.

[RestaurantDude]

Yeah... The first meeting with seinõr douchebaggieo should probably be a 1 on 1 kinda thing.