Official CS blanket fort

[Mishi]

That would be awesome!

*snuggles up in a cushy spot with a cup of coffee* Both girls are sick and our doctor is booked out until tomorrow afternoon. So of course bub is finally making a concerted effort to arrive!

[AccountingDrone]

You know, if we ever had a huge CS convention, the ballroom would be a hug moshpit

[ParkingWitch]

Awww Ree, I'll offer up a the big fluffy hug too.

[Food Lady]

Ree, I wish I could've taken you.

[Marmalady]

Ree, I'd give you such a hug if I could.

[Mishi]

I'm sorry too

[Maria]

It's been almost a year since anyone other than my granddaughter, (or daughter, a couple of times) has actually just randomly held me in a hug, and I miss it so much.
I used to feel so safe in my husband's arms."

So, yeah, life sucks right now and I am rather tired of it all.

I'm sorry. I wish I could find more words than just that, but what I keep trying to say is just not coming out right, so... but, I am sorry.

[Mikkel]

life sucks right now and I am rather tired of it all.

I'm sorry.

[AccountingDrone]

I don't want to go to work today. If I call in, though, I don't get paid for the stat holiday yesterday.

I've been up since 6 (was awake several times through the night) and all I have done is make a coffee.
I don't even have the energy to get up and shower and get dressed, and I have to be at work in less than an hour. (I only live about 5-7 minutes from my job by car, but 30 minutes to a half hour if I walk it. I can't afford a cab, and none of my coworkers are heading in at the same time, so it looks like I'm walking, and I don't even have the strength.)

I posted this on here from my blog last night, but got to feeling sorry for myself and removed it.

"Really not doing well right now.
Five years ago today, I buried my husband. I still miss him so much. I wish I could have made a trip to the cemetery, but I don't drive, and there was really nobody that I could ask (or felt comfortable asking) so I sat here feeling lonely and fighting all the fun stuff that comes with depressive episodes.

I don't know why it's hitting me so hard this year.

I have no meds and no doctor.

I could go to the ER, but I just don't feel it's an emergency.
I'm just really sad.

I didn't even go to my Family Reunion yesterday, even though I had helped in part of the planning, because it just felt like too much work to shower and get dressed.

There are fireworks tonight, which I love, and I love seeing my granddaughter as she watches them, but the thought of actually making the effort to go is too much for me. I feel so lazy.

It has been a long weekend with a chance to rest, but my body doesn't feel ready to go back to work tomorrow.
I have barely moved from the couch all weekend, and I haven't showered or dressed to go anywhere.
I am so tired, and yesterday, I had a headache that wouldn't go away. I am drained and achy and have no ambition to do anything. My chest feels achy, but not in an "OMG I'm having a heart attack" kind of way.

I am under so much pressure at work. I have lost 2 staff members, and they aren't being replaced.
I have told them I need help or I will be on stress leave, and it's as if they don't believe me or they don't care.

So, I am sitting here in the dark, all alone and crying my eyes out, missing my husband as if he had just passed, and feeling like an idiot because of that.
I wish I could just go to sleep for a week and forget about everything.

It's been almost a year since anyone other than my granddaughter, (or daughter, a couple of times) has actually just randomly held me in a hug, and I miss it so much.
I used to feel so safe in my husband's arms."

So, yeah, life sucks right now and I am rather tired of it all.

I really feel sad for you - and if I were there I would both give you a hug and drive you to work.

Humans *need* physical contact to remain healthy, and though I haven't lost my husband, I did lose my father and we were very emotionally close and his death anniversary is coming up shortly and I miss him very much.

[Ree]

I don't want to go to work today. If I call in, though, I don't get paid for the stat holiday yesterday.

I've been up since 6 (was awake several times through the night) and all I have done is make a coffee.
I don't even have the energy to get up and shower and get dressed, and I have to be at work in less than an hour. (I only live about 5-7 minutes from my job by car, but 30 minutes to a half hour if I walk it. I can't afford a cab, and none of my coworkers are heading in at the same time, so it looks like I'm walking, and I don't even have the strength.)

I posted this on here from my blog last night, but got to feeling sorry for myself and removed it.

"Really not doing well right now.
Five years ago today, I buried my husband. I still miss him so much. I wish I could have made a trip to the cemetery, but I don't drive, and there was really nobody that I could ask (or felt comfortable asking) so I sat here feeling lonely and fighting all the fun stuff that comes with depressive episodes.

I don't know why it's hitting me so hard this year.

I have no meds and no doctor.

I could go to the ER, but I just don't feel it's an emergency.
I'm just really sad.

I didn't even go to my Family Reunion yesterday, even though I had helped in part of the planning, because it just felt like too much work to shower and get dressed.

There are fireworks tonight, which I love, and I love seeing my granddaughter as she watches them, but the thought of actually making the effort to go is too much for me. I feel so lazy.

It has been a long weekend with a chance to rest, but my body doesn't feel ready to go back to work tomorrow.
I have barely moved from the couch all weekend, and I haven't showered or dressed to go anywhere.
I am so tired, and yesterday, I had a headache that wouldn't go away. I am drained and achy and have no ambition to do anything. My chest feels achy, but not in an "OMG I'm having a heart attack" kind of way.

I am under so much pressure at work. I have lost 2 staff members, and they aren't being replaced.
I have told them I need help or I will be on stress leave, and it's as if they don't believe me or they don't care.

So, I am sitting here in the dark, all alone and crying my eyes out, missing my husband as if he had just passed, and feeling like an idiot because of that.
I wish I could just go to sleep for a week and forget about everything.

It's been almost a year since anyone other than my granddaughter, (or daughter, a couple of times) has actually just randomly held me in a hug, and I miss it so much.
I used to feel so safe in my husband's arms."

So, yeah, life sucks right now and I am rather tired of it all.

[Gizmo]

*hugs* Kanalah. I've only just got back online after a short holiday so only just seen this. *hugs*, please realise you are valued by people who care and we'd love to come sort out those who are close to you who don't and put them back on the right track.

[Kanalah]

Well, I give up.

Apparently life is just me working my ass off for people that don't notice or even care, but raise hell when I get anything nice.

I wish I'd realized this sooner, saved everyone a bunch of trouble.

[Pixilated]

*snip*

But anyway - right now I am doing my best to make sure daughter does not have another epic airplane meltdown. Last time we tried to fly with her (she's autistic) it was a 4 hour screaming, hitting, kicking, spitting fun fest. I knew 2 planefulls of people wanted us dead.

I'm not a fan of drugging children, but this can't be good for her, either. Would her pediatrician prescribe a light sedative or something for the plane trips?

[Mishi]

*massive hugs* So sorry for your loss

[Pixilated]

Hugs and my condolences to you and your Dad, Maria.