Tried to be a gentleman long ago...

[HorrorFrogPrincess]

Or the nice, smart, funny, cute, fun girls that are single and never get asked out, aren't attracted to the nice guys that ask them out, much like you aren't attracted to your friend.

Attraction is a huge factor. Nice guys aren't attractive to bulk of girls.

Except they aren't getting asked out by anyone.

You know, like I said before.

When I said they never get asked out.

And I still think a good part of it is who the "Nice Guys" are asking out (do NOT put all blame on the girls). Or how they present themselves. As was said before, confidence is far more appealing than desperation.

[Plaidman]

Doesn't have to be desperation.

Don't put all the blame on guys ether. It's not like we don't try.

Just very very possible that those nice girls you know, put up signs of don't talk to me, don't look at me, or even I'm already taken.


And are you with the woman 24/7? How do you know for sure they aren't being asked out, but she is just disgusted by the guys appearence or attitude, (which is at least reasonable), and she just completely ignores the person and leaves.

Nice guys do ask girls out, many kinds, and are told that we're sweet but no. Bad guys demand a girl go out, make them pay for any date, sleep with them, then leave.

The above may not happen that fast, but it's just scientifically proven that girls are just attracted to bad boys. Animalistic, primal, the sheer power that comes from them.

It comes to does the girl date the head of the herd lion, or settle for the meek one that despite all his bravo is lucky to get scraps.

[hinakiba777]

I thought you were married though? Or at least had a boyfriend. I coulda sworn that.

Nope I've been on 3 dates in my whole life. When I was 12, when I was 18, and when I was 20. All three times I was the asker. Since my last date I have not had a boyfriend, or anything of the such.

I really fear being rejected so I don't ask guys out, and they don't ask me. So yeah, that's where I am.

[HorrorFrogPrincess]

Don't intend to put all the blame on the guys. Jsut arguing the other side. Everyone's always so quick to say "Girls only like assholes" without considering other factors.

If girls keep saying No, check the facts. What's your technique? What's the common theme in the girls you ask? How is your appearance?

If you keep getting asked out by guys you aren't attracted to, check the facts. How do you try to attract guys you WOULD say yes to? Where do you spend time? Are there any guys you find attractive in the places you frequent? Do you avoid talking to or flirting with someone you DO find attractive and only chat with guys you could only consider a friend?

There's always a mix of factors. Things are rarely as simple as "Girls only like assholes" and "guys only date sluts". If all the girls YOU have asked only date the assholes, that's a common theme. You're seeing the same thing the assholes are seeing that makes that girl an easy target, and while you would not exploit that, it's there. Many, many, MANY girls would NOT tolerate the actions you have described. I have personally ended things after 1 date with a guy who only showed some unwanted tendancies in the stories he told of himself.

I'm just saying, and I'm saying it to EVERYONE, look to yourself first. I've shedded plenty of unpleasent habits (talking too much, not listening, some other stuff I shan't mention >> ). And sure, still single, but that's more due to other habits of my own, like rarely going out. And I don't think I care too. I rather like living without the added burden of a clingy boyfriend (oh dear, is my past slipping into my viewpoint? yes it is).

[Amethyst Hunter]

Don't intend to put all the blame on the guys. Jsut arguing the other side. Everyone's always so quick to say "Girls only like assholes" without considering other factors...There's always a mix of factors. Things are rarely as simple as "Girls only like assholes" and "guys only date sluts"...I'm just saying, and I'm saying it to EVERYONE, look to yourself first.

THANK YOU.

Personally I get tired of hearing the "it's the girl's fault" chestnut pulled. I think what's missing is the fundamental difference between the Nice Guy and a Good Person. The Nice Guy, as you mentioned, usually has an ulterior motive at stake and gets all butthurt when his plans don't put out. (Which is also when his true colors show and you can tell it by the way he speaks about women in general.)

The Good Person, on the other hand, treats the woman - or man - as a HUMAN BEING first and foremost. The Good Person isn't in it for the nooky or whatever - they treat others decently because it's the right thing to do.

I've been on 3 dates in my whole life.

I can top that.

Thirty-something years old. I have only ever had ONE. ONE. Date. Ever. In my entire life. When I was oh, probably about 26 or 27. And it was more like a lunch day out than a date-date. And I suspect it came about only because our parents knew each other and mine have a tendency to meddle where they shouldn't. (Needless to say I have never since heard from the fella after that one day. I don't know whether or not he was prodded into it, but if he was, can't say I blame him.)

I take a perverse sort of pride in that status...I've been known to shock the shit out of people when they ask if I've ever had a relationship and I say no.

Sometimes out of curiosity I think about what it might be like to have a Significant Other. But then I remember how much I enjoy being able to do as I please without having to answer to anybody for it, and my cruise-ship-sized boatload of Personal Issues. And what passes as my sanity is quickly restored.

[Peppergirl]

I'm really embarassed to say that once upon a time, a young, stuck-up Peppergirl was just like the little bitch in the OP.



Feel free to throw rocks at me, I deserve it.

Thank God I grew out of it and have managed to become a somewhat productive member of society.

[HorrorFrogPrincess]

THANK YOU.

Personally I get tired of hearing the "it's the girl's fault" chestnut pulled. I think what's missing is the fundamental difference between the Nice Guy and a Good Person. The Nice Guy, as you mentioned, usually has an ulterior motive at stake and gets all butthurt when his plans don't put out. (Which is also when his true colors show and you can tell it by the way he speaks about women in general.)

In Realityland, I've only EVER heard it used as an excuse. Girls only like jerks, cause there couldn't POSSIBLY be anything wrong with the guy.

To quote the quoteable Sally, "I just didn't want to sleep with you, and you had to write it off as a character flaw instead of dealing with the possibility that it might have something to do with you."

The Good Person, on the other hand, treats the woman - or man - as a HUMAN BEING first and foremost. The Good Person isn't in it for the nooky or whatever - they treat others decently because it's the right thing to do.

And there's the difference between a 20 year friendship catching flame vs the "Nice Guy" technique of Get Close And Attempt Manipulation.

[Food Lady]

Personally, I don't see anything wrong with building a friendship with someone in order to further it. How else do you get to the point of a romantic relationship? It's not manipulation; it's being proactive. What's bad is progressing to a certain point, having the other person then decide he/she doesn't want to take it further, and refusing to accept that fact. Secondly, I will not date a jerk, no matter how good-looking, or whatever. I'm not attracted to arrogance and pride; they make any person ugly. Humility--true humility, not self-pity--is what attracts me.

[HorrorFrogPrincess]

Personally, I don't see anything wrong with building a friendship with someone in order to further it.

Okay, I might be overgeneralizing on that point. Just in my experience, guys who try to make friends with a girl when they want to date her from the beginning tend to fall into the Nice Guy category and then complain when she only wants to be friends.

I mean, if you're interested in someone as a potential Significant Other from the start, why not just ask them out? You can get to know a person as well by a few dates as by a friendship, and if it turns out, no it doesn't work, yes you can still be friends. As long as there aren't any hard feelings.

[Andara Bledin]

I can top that.

Thirty-something years old. I have only ever had ONE. ONE. Date. Ever.

I've never been on an actual date. *shrug*

To be honest, I think they're overrated and most people seem to use them to market themselves as opposed to just have a good time.

Considering I was in one relationship for about a decade, and my current relationship is hitting the 10-year point, I don't see that I've missed out on anything. :P

^-.-^

[blas]

People who truly are the "Nice Guy" and "Nice Girl" shouldn't have to advertise it and wallow in self pity over it. There is always something that the bitches and dicks have that the nice ones don't have....confidence. Confidence is a must in finding a partner, or at the very least, being noticed and not stuck in the "friend zone".

[shadowpanda]

My fella is a nice guy, to me (and a few select others).
To most people he appears arrogant but he just doesn't like people in general. He appears very confident and that keeps most people at bay, which is what he wants.
He treats me incredibly well, opens doors and everything, is a total sweetheart and a big softie
His energy is what made him stand out from the crowd, and I knew we could never be just friends.

[HorrorFrogPrincess]

My fella is a nice guy, to me (and a few select others).
To most people he appears arrogant but he just doesn't like people in general. He appears very confident and that keeps most people at bay, which is what he wants.
He treats me incredibly well, opens doors and everything, is a total sweetheart and a big softie
His energy is what made him stand out from the crowd, and I knew we could never be just friends.

He sounds great (as long as the Select Others include waiters and retail slaves).

One can usually tell a nice guy from a "Nice Guy" by how he treats employees. SCs need not apply.

[shadowpanda]

He sounds great (as long as the Select Others include waiters and retail slaves).

One can usually tell a nice guy from a "Nice Guy" by how he treats employees. SCs need not apply.

Thanks, I like him

He isn't a jerk to employees of places, to be honest, he is rather shy with it and gets me to ask questions/order food etc. I used to work in the food service industry and retail, he has heard enough horror stories from me so he knows how to behave himself.
He's more stand offish when introduced to friends of friends, etc.

[protege]

People who truly are the "Nice Guy" and "Nice Girl" shouldn't have to advertise it and wallow in self pity over it.

I've never advertised that. I simply let my actions speak for themselves. Yet, when I do ask someone out, there's usually one or two dates, the "let's be friends" speech, and then I never hear from them again. That's why I posted earlier, that first dates (at least for me) are usually last dates. Doesn't matter who I ask out, or how I act, it's always the same result.