Mom, I love you, but..... (Long and Ranty)

[Ghel]

Kara, I want to join in the chorus of telling you how brave and wonderful and amazing you are.

I went through similar issues with my mom when I told her I no longer believed in the God that she raised me to believe in. Plus I got the "Where did I go wrong!?" line. She still loves me, though, and that's the most important thing. We don't talk about religion any more, but we still talk.

I hope things mellow with your mom, like they did with mine. I know it won't be as simple to avoid talking about it with your mom like it was with mine - your change isn't just a philosophical one - but your mom is still talking to you, and that's a good sign.

I wish you the best of everything in your transition and in your life. I'll be here for moral support. (I can't offer much else, but at least I can offer that. )

[Retail's Bitch]

I had similar issues to Retail's Bitch. When I met my ex girlfriend I came out to my parents as lesbian. My dad was cool with it (he has a gay brother) but my mom's response was 'Are you sure?' And she was less then pleased when I moved from where they live in Tennessee to Maryland for my ex. (That relationship lasted all of 3 months after the move.)
Now that I'm with a guy I get 'You thought you were gay' from her. Even if I'm technically pansexual. (Though I think the misunderstanding comes from her not understanding my sexuality.) But even if I'm with a guy now neither of us want kids and I think my mom's less than happy about that.
I'm still her baby. And she still supports me.

Yeah she was pretty out there and abusive at first... ESPECIALLY when my youngest sister came out as bisexual. The shit hit the fan at that point. Saying that when I was 'straight' my sister was 'normal, happy, and straight,' and now she's a sad, emo lesbian and it was all my fault for turning her gay and influencing her with my lifestyle.

The joke was on her though, after she dumped the girl (who was batshit crazy btw, I don't know why my mother had a problem with the lesbianism and not the fact that Emma was dating somebody crazy...) she started dating this shiftless boy who seems to think working at walmart and expecting MY MOTHER to drive him to work an hour each way because he's too lazy to get his license...

LOL I don't think I'll ever hear my mother say. "I wish she'd just find a nice girl and go to college," but I'm sure she's opening her options. LOL

Heh... My mother blamed it on all the chemicals in the air and water and how she used to walk by the train tracks when she was pregnant with me, (they spray pesticides on the grass to keep it low)... And then started going on about how gays are everywhere.


"Rick Mercer's gay, That Ryan Seabreeze guy from American Idol... Even that Doogie Howser guy..."

Yes mum... It's a growing phenomenon. We're taking over the world!!!! As it is we're taking over Church st tonight!!!! Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay Toronto Pride!

[teh_blumchenkinder]

SNIP
There are loads of theories I could share, but since we're a Christian family, why don't we go with the one I liked the most: God can do ANYTHING He wants and created me this way.
SNIP
And I don't buy out the Japanese Cherry Blossom section at Bath & Body Works just because it's a "feminine" scent, I do so because I, as an individual with individual tastes, love it. Forever.
SNIP
Since I started at the prison, I actually hear less name-calling, wishes for my children to die, and threats of getting my ass kicked than I EVER did in retail and customer service. That's right, inmates, many of whom are the sickest and most depraved people in existence, have more tact than your average irate customer.
SNIP
What if you get hurt?

You can't spend your life living in constant fear of every potential threat. Oh, and I do know how to fight.

And if I can't do that, I can fight you off until help arrives. I've done it before at work.
SNIP
You are a boy. You know that, right? - I know that my body is physically, with a few quirks notwithstanding, male. But going back to all that research I've done over the years, there are major distinctions between sex and gender. Gender is far more varied than most people realize.
SNIP
You're going too fast with this - It took me 30 years to get here, I don't know how I could have gone much slower.
SNIP
I don't want you to stop being you - Good. Neither do I.

1) So… God wants pain and suffering? There are several schools of thought… one being that people are screwed up, and it shows up in how we’re made. Another school of thought is that He doesn’t give us anything that can’t be figured out or dealt with.
2) OMG I have that scent! :3 it’s probably too musky/heavy for me, especially in summer… but eh.
3) There is hope for society.
4) a) … What? Then … you deal with it?
b) Yes. Awesome.
c) … also awesome
5) Yes.
6) No, it’s too fast for her. The same woman who apparently didn’t actually know her own child.
7)

[dragon_wings]

Yeah she was pretty out there and abusive at first... ESPECIALLY when my youngest sister came out as bisexual. The shit hit the fan at that point. Saying that when I was 'straight' my sister was 'normal, happy, and straight,' and now she's a sad, emo lesbian and it was all my fault for turning her gay and influencing her with my lifestyle.

The joke was on her though, after she dumped the girl (who was batshit crazy btw, I don't know why my mother had a problem with the lesbianism and not the fact that Emma was dating somebody crazy...) she started dating this shiftless boy who seems to think working at walmart and expecting MY MOTHER to drive him to work an hour each way because he's too lazy to get his license...

LOL I don't think I'll ever hear my mother say. "I wish she'd just find a nice girl and go to college," but I'm sure she's opening her options. LOL

Heh... My mother blamed it on all the chemicals in the air and water and how she used to walk by the train tracks when she was pregnant with me, (they spray pesticides on the grass to keep it low)... And then started going on about how gays are everywhere.

"Rick Mercer's gay, That Ryan Seabreeze guy from American Idol... Even that Doogie Howser guy..."

Yes mum... It's a growing phenomenon. We're taking over the world!!!! As it is we're taking over Church st tonight!!!! Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay Toronto Pride!

Lol. My ex is batshit crazy.

Oh two other things:
-My boyfriend is gender fluid. It causes issues considering he's a hefty dude and 6'3. As well as the vocalist of a deathmetal band. He has to deal with the fact that most people see him as a really manly dude when he's not.
-I'm rather androgynous. I have a very feminine body but I hide it in jeans/work slacks and t shirts. Plus I like to keep my hair real short (like an inch or two long) and faux hawk it on occasion. I've had customers call me 'Sir' before they realized I was actually a chick. I've also been harassed by customers (well one particularly unpleasant old bastard) for keeping my hair short/faux hawking it. My managers, my friends, my co workers, my boyfriend, and my family all like my hair cause I like it. Plus it helps that I look fucking cute with short hair.

[Rapscallion]

We've started to touch on areas that are best left for Fratching. Most of the stuff on here is fine, but please don't go down religious avenues?

Rapscallion

[Midnight12]

And I don't buy out the Japanese Cherry Blossom section at Bath & Body Works just because it's a "feminine" scent, I do so because I, as an individual with individual tastes, love it. Forever.

on a funny/happy note. YOU! so its you that prevents me from ordering that lotion/handsoap that is STILL out of stock! share pleas?

major hugs and you are happy with you, thats all that matters. you mom is your mom she may not understand but it doesn't mean she loves you less, just very confused as you changed from the person she knew. at least this is what i see from what you have posted what she has said. not defending her persay but i can understand some of it. enough rambling from me

HOWEVER, as stated you are happy, and from what i can see an awesome parent AND person

[Kara]

Agreed! And for some reason I pictured Kara as a red-head

We have a winner! Everyone always pictures me as a blonde. Maybe that's cause like, almost all av's I've ever used are of blondes. I guess you're only partly right. I do have red hair on many occasions. My natural hair is brownish.

on a funny/happy note. YOU! so its you that prevents me from ordering that lotion/handsoap that is STILL out of stock! share please?

I'll... consider it. Damned buy 2 get 1 free sales....

I have noticed, Kara, the tone of your posts seem to be changing. Not in any way I can define, but you seem more settled, despite all the shit life and your ex has thrown at you

Yeah, that still amazes me. I've changed a lot, and part of that was learning to deal with issues and keep moving forward. I used to dwell on every little thing, not a good way to handle it. And you aren't the only ones noticing. I've heard similar comments from my coworkers. I guess that while everyone did respect me before, I was kind of a bitch. It was mainly that I was just so miserable that just being around me dragged others down. In fact, someone just told me the other day that the reason I haven't heard anything bad from the rumor mill at work is because of the way I present myself and the fact that I'm so much more pleasant, talkative, and happy, that people would rather know this girl than judge her. Which was awesome to hear.

[Kara]

Oh, but I'm still totally evil. Officially.

[Midnight12]

score one for the dark side...you are welcome to all the cookies, punch and pie and other goodies you were lured here with. muwahahaha

[blas]

Actually, my mother is the the horder of the smelly lotions and body washes.

I swear, for a woman that's allergic to practically every scent in that store, she buys out everything that's Japanese Cherry Blossom, and occasionally gives me a bottle here and there.

I myself prefer LoveSpell from Vicky's.

[Bright_Star]

Shakespeare said.."To thine self be true". Don't attempt to please anyone other than yourself. No reason why you have to explain yourself to anyone. You go girl!

[ArcticChicken]

We have a winner! Everyone always pictures me as a blonde.

I've always pictured you as a brunette.

[Kara]

I've always pictured you as a brunette.

Earlier today I was going to post a recent pic in the Photo Album for people who don't have FB, since I've finally come to a place where I don't mind pictures of me. After scratching my head for several minutes, I remembered the Photo Album is temporarily gone. It has been said of me that I'm a blonde at heart

[RootedPhoenix]

*hugs and cookies and chocolate*

Scented lotion is awesome (assuming you're not allergic or similar). Girl or guy, why does it have to matter? I can't enjoy most of them, so you can have my share.

I'm glad people are being nice to you. Makes me happy.

[BlaqueKatt]

It has been said of me that I'm a blonde at heart

I can see you with this or this for some reason....though the shorter straight you have is good too....