Feeling overwhelmed

[Eisa]

Can you check out some of those counseling places online? Maybe there's a crisis services place in town that you could email, at least until you work up the nerve to call. I understand about panicking on the phone calls, it might help a little bit if you give yourself permission to be scared. Take slow deep breaths, and shake all you want. But if that doesn't work, maybe you could contact someone by email. Tell them you keep zoning out and aren't sure what to do.

Heh. To illustrate my problem with phone calls (this is a bit squicky):

Had to use monistat last year for a yeast infection. Had allergic reaction to said monistat. Was in so much burning pain, was nearly screaming.

Still could barely call gyn the next morning about it.

So yes. I love email. Even if people call me, I can't answer the phone 95% of the time...although I'm better if it's a friend than anything professional. I can at least answer the phone when a friend calls usually, it's just the...talking and conversation part that's tricky.

But yeah. I do keep zoning out. It's 7:30 right now for instance, and I have been either spacey or asleep 98% of today. Keep randomly falling asleep...although I'm sure it being pitch black in here and having all the lights off doesn't help. XD

Hugs, extra cookies and more hugs!

Is insurance a problem for getting counselling, or is it just contacting them? Most places do put their physical address somewhere, so you could always write and explain that you don't want to be phoned. It does sound like you'd appreciate talking to someone, especially if your last therapist was helpful.

Beyond that, I'm not really sure what to say...mainly that we're all here for you (including a supply of baked goods and random alcohol as necessary!)

Yay for baked goods and alcohol! And hugs!

Sort of a problem. I have to go by who they think is ok, for one. And anyone they think is ok seems to be an utter twat-face, judging by past therapeutic experiences. D: My mom, who is the policy-holder, was supposed to ask them who they cover...um...two weeks ago. She keeps forgetting. Or I forget to call her to remind her not to forget. -facepalm- Really need to get on that, especially considering she's also asking about podiatrists.

I like the idea of writing their physical address about that, maybe they'd have a better idea of how I can contact them besides the phone...thank you.



-reminds self that sitting in bed all day on the computer is not actually getting anything done-

-notices that doesn't actually prod me into gear in the slightest-

-siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiighs-

I want to become a hermit. I'm mostly there, anyway. And then the few friends I do have tell me being a hermit is bad, and isolation is bad. Well, if I'm going to be isolated anyway, then why not enjoy it? D: Or...attempt to anyway? It's not like there's really anything to do in this town, it's either go to a bar or university stuff. Well, I graduated and (apologies ) but I really don't like bars. Especially since you can still smoke in ours, and I'm allergic. Plus, after the last fiasco of "sure give the gay guy my number, we can be friends...motherfucker, he's not gay D:" not exactly peachy-keen on returning...especially alone...and alcohol's not good for me, anyway, it gives me the headache of death and makes me more spacey.

Juuuust gonna curl up in this corner over here, don't mind me...

[MoonCat]

Can you check out some of those counseling places online? Maybe there's a crisis services place in town that you could email, at least until you work up the nerve to call. I understand about panicking on the phone calls, it might help a little bit if you give yourself permission to be scared. Take slow deep breaths, and shake all you want. But if that doesn't work, maybe you could contact someone by email. Tell them you keep zoning out and aren't sure what to do.

[houdini]

Hugs, extra cookies and more hugs!

Is insurance a problem for getting counselling, or is it just contacting them? Most places do put their physical address somewhere, so you could always write and explain that you don't want to be phoned. It does sound like you'd appreciate talking to someone, especially if your last therapist was helpful.

Beyond that, I'm not really sure what to say...mainly that we're all here for you (including a supply of baked goods and random alcohol as necessary!)

[Eisa]

Dunno why I'm putting this out here, except...well, I still don't really know. Why not?

I've been struggling with...let's see...depression, social anxiety, PTSD, and extreme dissociation. For a while, obviously, but it's getting worse. The depression ebbs and flows, but I haven't left this apartment except under duress/necessity in weeks. I think the last time I saw anyone friend-related was Halloween, and then it was when I went to the RHPS showing at my old uni, and talked to one person at the end, and gave another person a hug. And that was it. So I'm tremendously isolated at the moment, and it shows.

I keep blinking and discovering four hours have gone by. I was just...spaced out for that whole time. And now I'm worrying more because my aunt said something tonight about "making my other self get up tomorrow and get ready" (she's making me check out an apartment with her), and so now I'm extremely worried about how much she knows/has put together about my mental health and my childhood. Because it would not be good if she DID know about my childhood, as she enables every thing my parents have ever done. I don't even get why, she hates my dad. And she keeps telling me that he can't be that bad because he hasn't stopped my mom from helping her this past year when the truth is, he's been a raging asshole the entire year, my mom just doesn't want to tell her.

I keep trying to get out of here, find a way out of here, and my stupid anxiety keeps stopping me at every turn. The thought of making a single phone call to anybody besides my boyfriend makes me have a panic attack. Which is why I want to know why so many places that deal with mental health patients in any capacity don't have an alternate way of contacting them, since I KNOW phone phobias aren't uncommon.

Add to that feeling more and more unsafe and scared around my aunt, for reasons I'm not even sure of. Add to that feeling completely overwhelmed every time I hear about someone else's pain, like I'm managing to feel all of their pain at the same time I have my own. It's no wonder I end up sleeping on and off most of the day, I'm completely exhausted. I should be asleep right now, as a matter of fact. I keep getting light-headed when I move wrong.

I hate feeling like this, it's one thing to deal with all the mental health stuff, but normally, it's not so bloody awful all at once. And I don't have a therapist. The last one I had was great, but I had to stop seeing her because I graduated, and let me tell you, that was another gigantic stressor because I've been in school my whole life except for now, and I hate it out here. It sucks.

Just...lost and overwhelmed and keep getting flashes of memories I didn't know about and getting stressed over those and now I'm rambling, aren't I...I'mma just go now... -slinks off into the night- Have a cookie, anyone who managed to get through my rambly wall o' text.

Oh! I do suppose one thing is now I've become a massive fan of My Little Pony Friendship is Magic and keep ending up I'm most like Fluttershy. It makes me happy. <3