Silly Kid stories

[Quillsilver]

I don't have kids, and I am rarely around any, since most of our family lives hours away. This weekend, however, my husband's best friend visited us, bringing along his gf/fiance (they actually got engaged on the visit) and his 4-yr-old daughter, "Aurora" (not her real name). Aurora instantly attached herself to me. Trying to get her to sleep after the long trip (they arrived about 3 am), I took her in and let her lay down on our bed. My pugs, however, were too excited about the visitors to simply let us go to sleep - they stood outside the room sniffing and occasionally scratching at the door. Aurora finally got up and went over to the door, opened it, and told them to "Go get a job!"

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Me (carrying her): Oof...I'm not used to carrying a munchkin!

Aurora: I'm not a munchkin!

Me: Okay...pipsqueak, then.

Aurora: I'm not a pipsqueak! I'm a Aurora!

A similar conversation with her dad involved him telling her she was his pillow and she responded "I'm not a pillow, I'm a people!"

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She spent part of the day watching Dora...I had to snicker when Dora was repeating the Spanish word for blue.

Dora: Azul!

Aurora: Atchoo!!

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We played with some of her toys...she wanted her kitty dating the puppy...then informed me that kitty's parents did not approve. Kitty called puppy on the phone to break up with him, then came over to his "house."

Me: Wait...I thought they broke up...why did she come over?

Aurora: She didn't want to break up. We just can't tell her parents!

Me: Oh, great...secret boyfriend. Your daddy is gonna have fun when you get older!

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Playing on the swing set at the apt. complex playground.

Aurora: Can I have a push?

Dad's gf (who she already calls Mommy) goes over to push her.

Aurora: No, I want her! (points to me)

Mommy: Okay, fine.

Aurora: But I still love you, Mommy!!

[Mishi]

Nana J had the girls overnight recently and told Jazzy that she was going to keep them forever and ever since they're so good. Jazzy's response: "Oh silly Nanny! You can't keep me, I'm not your baby...I'm Mishi's baby!"

[AnaKhouri]

My husband is carrying my son around the house on his shoulders. He keeps yelling, "Who run Bartertown?" and my toddler replies, "Master Blaster run Bartertown!"

So proud.

[fireheart]

Conversation between one of my dad's cousins and her 3-year-old grandson (I've mentioned him before, he's the one with the 1-year-old brother):

Nana: <cousin> please dont jump on the lounge

Cousin:...just once nana ?

Nana:...No <cousin> we dont jump on the lounge

Cousin:...your no fun nana...your not my friend anymore

Nana: <pint-sized cousin> will be my friend

Cousin:...no he won't he is my brother!

[fireheart]

Oh and another one I thought of today:

My former Zumba instructor (I gave up after I kept having anxiety attacks mid-class) has 2 kids aged around 5 and 3 at last count. One of them started school last term/this term(?) (she's one of the last kids to do a term 4 start ever, since from next year they're introducing a single-intake pattern across pre-schools and primary schools, where if you turn 5 on or before May 1st, you start in the first term of that year. If you turn 5 after May 1st, you start the following year.)

Apparently one of the things she learned at school was "Gangnam Style". And she proceeeded to teach her sister how to do it. Now both girls are doing it
(probably doesn't help that mummy also did Gangnam Style in her Zumba classes)

[Mishi]

Apparently one of the things she learned at school was "Gangnam Style". And she proceeeded to teach her sister how to do it. Now both girls are doing it
(probably doesn't help that mummy also did Gangnam Style in her Zumba classes)

Ha! I love this
(Jazzy learnt an edited version for her Prep Grandparents Day)

[fireheart]

So a bit of background with this one: my placement class DID have a pet frog, but it escaped. The teacher is planning on getting a new pet frog to show the life cycle.

Two of my students were sitting at the table at lunchtime one day, colouring in these multiplication wheels. Somehow the topic got onto pets and one of the girls pipes up with this gem:

"My brother has a dragon and he eats crickets and he said that if the crickets aren't fed, they can eat the skin of a frog to keep themselves hungry" or something like that. She then turned to me and went, "I wonder if our froggy ended up like that." She then turned to her friend and went

[AnaKhouri]

All I can think is that maybe her brother has a lizard, maybe a bearded dragon?

Khan: "Bowser (his Super Mario toy) doesn't want to be King Koopa anymore so he's going to abdicate."

(this is what happens when you speak to your children like they're real people, not in ridiculous baby talk)

[fireheart]

All I can think is that maybe her brother has a lizard, maybe a bearded dragon?

Yeah, he does.

[NorthernZel]

I can't remember if I've told this one before, but I remember an exchange of words between me and Lil Zel when he was about 3½ years old (BG: we live in a condo complex where approx. 60 apartments share a large yard. The yard has a playground that have 2 sets of swings, one for babies/toddlers and one for preschool-sized kids and up):

LZ: Why can't I use the little swing anymore?
Me: Because the little swing set is for babies, and you're not a baby anymore.
LZ: How come I'm not a baby anymore?
Me: Well, um, you've grown... let me put it another way: The small swing is for sharing. It was set up by A & D's parents when they were babies. Once A & D were too big, it was M's turn to use the swing. When M grew older, it was your turn. And now it is time for you to let L use the swing, and once he's older it'll be his baby sister's turn. You see?
LZ: <pondering> You know, there'll be a time where I'm adult and can make my own decisions...
Me: Yes, it's true, but what does it have to do with...
LZ: So, when I'm an adult I'm gonna decide that I'm gonna be a baby again! And THEN I can use the little swing again!! BWAAHAHAHAHA!
Me:

[NorthernZel]

Aaaand already tonight Lil Zel provided another gem after we watched the extended documentary re: Felix Baumgartner's epic space jump:

LZ: Wow, he really did jump from space. Could you be able to do that jump, Mom?
Me: Ha-ha-ha, no, I'm way to old and unhealthy for that.
LZ: Well, I think that adults that don't dare to do a space jump are wussies.
Me: Really? So, considering that you're afraid to even ride the kiddie rollercoaster, you're a wuss yourself?
LZ: AM NOT!
Me: Ok, uh-huh.
LZ: But thinking of it, that Felix guy was very brave. Now I see it, it was a long, looong jump. Suppose he missed the ground, he'd still be in space by now.
Me: (suppressing laughing fit and H2G2 reference that he wouldn't get anyway) Well, it could have been worse than that. Suppose he couldn't release his parachute?
LZ: Oh man, he'd get a major OWIE!
Me:

[fireheart]

"My brother has a dragon and he eats crickets and he said that if the crickets aren't fed, they can eat the skin of a frog to keep themselves hungry" or something like that. She then turned to me and went, "I wonder if our froggy ended up like that." She then turned to her friend and went

I'm quoting myself for a reason.

Apparently the froggy was found dead today by another student (not in my class)



So their idea was to hold a little service for it.

[fireheart]

A few gems today from my students.

-In addition to the frog "service" yesterday, there has been a little memorial set up on one of the trees out near the classroom. There's a little popstick cross with the frog's name written on it and the kids have been leaving flowers at the burial site. This morning, 3 of my students started saying "prayers" to the frog while they were sitting cross-legged, hands pushed together at a 90 degree angle from their arms.

-One of my kids drew me a picture.

-We had a relief teacher today, so the kids were slightly antsy. During a "busy work"/arts activity this afternoon (I say "busy work" because they were given a choice of 3 masks to colour in however they wanted, but "arts" because the follow-up activity with that same relief teacher is going to involve them creating their own play), two of my boys started acting up a little bit, much to the annoyance of two of my girls. The relief teacher comes over and explains to the troublemakers that they will be cleaning up:

Boy: but I'm too handsome to clean up. I can't damage this face!
Girl sitting across from him: Well if you're so handsome to clean up, your head should be sticking out of the wall on a plaque!

Well, not QUITE those words, but you get the idea. All the other kids (and the reliever) went "oooooooh" (burn). I'm just trying REALLY hard not to laugh at that. (No, I didn't tell her off either since it wasn't a direct insult and generally they don't bully one another)

[AnaKhouri]

Husband and Khan are playing in the living room.

Husband just got hit with the Crazy Applesauce Ray.

FINALLY someone else gets hit with that shit. About damn time.

[Flyndaran]

When I was a toddler, I noticed an odd coincidence of my immediate family. My mother and grandmother have brown eyes. My father, brother, and grandfather have blue eyes. I have brown, so naturally I asked my parents when I was going to become a girl.
Then again, one of my first halloweens I dressed up as my favorite super, Wonderwoman.