Silly Kid stories

[rose_metal_nz]

OK, I'll share one (from when MiniMe was still a toddler):

We were going thru the game of "what sound does a [animal] make?"
Cows go moo, ducks quack, etc.
Then "What sound does a frog make?"
Her: "Ribbit ribbit"
Me: (deliberately looking confused) "Then what sound does a rabbit make?"
She stops, confused. "They don't make a sound!"
Me: (teasing) "Yes they do! What sound does a rabbit make?
Her: "Rabbit! Rabbit!"
Me: (laughing) "So what sound does a frog make?"
Her: "F-frog! F-Frog!" and started hopping around, frog-style.

To this day we still use "f-frog!" as a giggle

[AnaKhouri]

Khan (who turned 3 today!) is playing with his new superhero toys. He is putting Catwoman to bed.

Me: "Did she brush her teeth?"

Him: "No, she's a naughty lady."

Me: "Then I guess she doesn't get a bedtime story."

Him: "Superman will read Catwoman a bedtime story. He's our go-to guy."

[fireheart]

Happy Birthday Khan! Also

[AnaKhouri]

Held Khan's birthday party at the in-law's house. They have a farm.

The kids were playing 'farmer' (which involved throwing rocks at the side of the barn) when 3-year-old 'Ellie's' mom came to tell her it was time to go home.

Ellie: "But I'm a farmer and farmer's don't go home!"

[MadMike]

My son is 18 now, but I have plenty of stories from when he was little. This is one of my favorites, because someone else got involved, and I think it made his day.

My son was 5, and my wife and I were living together, but not yet married or even engaged. The three of us were having lunch at Arby's one weekend. My son, just getting to know about body parts, and being somewhat obsessed over who had which ones and who didn't, turned to my wife, and blurted out, "You're just jealous because you don't have a pee-pee!" As he said it, a guy was walking past on his way to the men's room. He looked at my son, shot him a smile, and went inside.

My wife was horrified. She told him, "I can't believe you said that! And that guy heard you!" And then, in an attempt to lighten the mood, added, "I don't know how you guys walk with those things!"

Just as she said that, the same guy emerged from the men's room again. As he walked past us, he looked at my son and told him, "Tell her it gives us balance!" It's a good thing I wasn't drinking anything at that moment.

=====================================

Another one I thought of from about 30 years or so ago. This takes place in the early 80s, when the movie E.T. was still in theaters. I was 13, and my brother Jason would have been 9 going on 10. One of my dad's friend's stopped by with his oldest daughter, who is a year younger than my brother, so she would have been about 8.

They had just come back from seeing E.T., and the little girl was going on and on about the part where Elliot called his older brother "Penis breath", like it was the funniest thing in the world. OK, my brother and I laughed too when we saw it, but she just would not shut up about it. Finally, her father had enough and asked her, "Do you even know what a penis is?"

She looked at him and asked, "What?"

"It's what Mike and Jason have and you don't!"

She got this horrified look on her face and said, "Oh..." She never mentioned it again after that.

[fireheart]

Another one from my friend today (quote from Facebook):

I was on yard duty today and came across one of my 5-year-olds who, at his own request, had been buried up to his head in the sandpit. And the older kids were trying to charge everyone $1 to see him, the "marvelous spectacle"!

ETA: She had a talk with the class afterwards about why the idea was dangerous. The best response was: "He can't power up through the sand because he's not superman!"

[AnaKhouri]

My husband has conspired to turn my son into a raging Queen fan. So today in the car he asked to hear Freddie. I didn't have any Queen CDs, and when I informed of this he shouted, "Radio Gaga Radio Googoo Radio Blahblah! I wanna hear Radio Gaga!"

I thought of showing him our DVD of the famous Wembley Stadium concert, but just in time remembered that Freddie had quite the sailor mouth on him. So I showed him a Youtube video of the Wembley performance of the above-mentioned song.

Khan: "Freddie took his shirt off!"

Me: "It, um, gets hot under all those lights. He was too hot."

Khan: "Freddie is hot!"

Me: "Lots of people thought the same thing, love."

[agirlfromnowhere]

Kids are so funny

Anyways, I took my little sister (13 years younger) to kindergarten one day (this was about 9 years ago. She's 14 now.) and there was this 5 or 6 year old kid singing "It's Getting Hot in Here" by Nelly. That just cracked me up.

Now for some things my sister did. This wasn't funny at the time but now its hilarious to me. She was 3 or 4 and she took a pair of scissors to one of my favorite skirts that was relatively expensive (for a 15 year old anyways) that I had bought at the Gap and they didn't carry it any more. The funny part though is she said in the cutest voice "Sissy do you like it? Isn't it cute?"

And when she was 2 or so my stepdad's brother brought her a boston terrier puppy (best dog we ever had, but that's a different story.) And she promptly said "I don't want it!" and threw it in the trash can.

And when she was 6 I was about to move 40 miles away because I had got a job in that town. I was trying to explain to her that it was a good job and I had to go. She said "But sissy, can't you just get a job at Kroger?" with tears in her little eyes. I actually thought about it for a few minutes

[Mishi]

Over dinner tonight.
Bubbles: "It's not fair!"
Rugz: *rolls eyes and sighs* "Nothing is ever fair with you two." (Meaning that he's tired of the 'Its unfair!' stage)
Jazzy: "Well you should have thought of that BEFORE you had kids!"

[fireheart]

We were going thru the game of "what sound does a [animal] make?"

Thank you for reminding me of a funny story I remember from WAY back when I was in Year 10 and doing Work Experience (at least in my state, every public school kid does a week of Work Experience in Year 10, then can arrange to do more in Years 11 and 12). I did mine at a daycare (along with about 50% of the girls in my year). I mostly floated with the toddlers and kindy kids. (so 2-4.5 year olds)

We have no idea WHERE this one came from, but apparently this particular kid was raised on a farm and had seen a rabbit being skinned. She was also 2.

So whenever you played the "What sound does the animal make" game, we'd get to

"What sound does a rabbit make?" or alternately "What does the rabbit do?"
She would ALWAYS, and I mean always go "kreeeeek" and mime a rabbit being skinned Even when I was reading her a story and she saw rabbits appear, she'd do the exact same thing.

The staff were in hysterics.

The kid is around 8-10 years old now. I wonder what happened when she went to school

[AnaKhouri]

One day Khan called me a 'dirty rascal' (it's from a Robert Munsch book we read). I told him it was not kind to call people names.

From then on he takes fiendish delight in pointing at me and saying, "Mommy, you're NAMES!"

[fireheart]

A friend of mine has a 2-year-old girl who is about to also have a baby brother (she's going in for a planned C-section on Monday since her previous birth was way overdue and her doctor didn't want to run the risk of inducing her or a VBAC). At the moment, she's been having some very cute moments, such as:

-The other night my friend put her to bed, then five minutes later, kid comes out with a blanket over her head since she believes that mummy can't "see" her.
-Kid eats an ant () and it bit her. When she finally managed to get the ant off of her, she walked over to the ants, pointed at them and said "Naughty", then ran away.
-She accidentally rode her (powered) quad bike into the bushes and keeps asking when the bushes are gone.
-Kidlet also received a baby born for her birthday. She announced on the day she got it that it was her baby brother.

[Mishi]

@Fireheart: What a cutie!

Last night, the girls were playing school:

Jazzy - "Dad, I was using my scissors and as you can see, I made a 2-D shape. Can you tell me what it is?"

Rugz - "Wait...you know the difference between 2D and 3D shapes!?"

Jazzy - "Yeah, we learnt about them in maths groups. Now, can you identify this shape please?"

Rugz - "It's a square. Now, what makes a 3D shape different to a 2D shape?"

Jazzy - "Well, they're fat..."

[fireheart]

@Fireheart: What a cutie!

Apparently when mummy DID go in for her C-Section, shortly afterwards, when she came to visit mummy and her new brother, she played with the bed control and caused her mummy's pain rating to shoot from a 0 to an 8.

But bubs is safe and sound and very adorable.

Oh and the first reaction to her new brother was apparently to steal his dummy. (pacifier)

As for my moment, I had one today. I'm starting a new unit and I was NERVOUS as hell. I'd just finished telling one of the kids to not do "chicken arms" (where they bend their arms while they're doing their strokes), then the instructor takes over to send the kids off.

Instructor: now where are we going this time?
Kid: the chicken rope!
Me:

[AnaKhouri]

Daddy: "Almost bedtime. Why don't you go potty now?"

Khan: "But I wanna shoot laser beams!"

Me: "You can shoot laser beams while you're on the potty. It's called multi-tasking."

++++++++

Khan (seeing me put change in my wallet): "Money!"

He reaches for it.

Me: "No way dude, you already take all my money. What would you buy with it anyway?"

Khan: "Rabbits."

++++++++

Khan, seeing a daddy-long-legs: 'Look at that thing! I think it loves me."

Me: "O....kay."

Khan: "Hi, thing. I love you, thing."