Silly Kid stories

[Anglesmith]

When my younger niece was three, she took my hand, made me sit down and said "You sit there. I'm going to find something to shoot you with like daddy does in the desert." (Her dad works for Border Patrol)

[Der Cute]

Noob's dad told me last night:
"He told me his butt itched... 'Daddy butt itchy go to Doctor?'"

[fireheart]

Another one from my friend with the new baby:

Apparently her 2-year-old daughter keeps trying to mimic mommy and care for her baby brother. (who's about a week old) She tried to rock him and give him her dummy.

[fireheart]

This was a real out of the mouths of babes moment.

Friend of mine has a 3-4 year old daughter (who will be known as mini Viking).
Mini Viking had already learned that cows give milk and beef, sheep give wool and pigs give pork, bacon and ham. She then asked her mum what dogs gave.
Friend tells mini Viking that dogs give friendship.
Mini Viking proceeds to shake her head and informs her that dogs give poop.

[AnaKhouri]

Well, she's right. But then, so does everything else with a digestive system.

Khan (as Silver Surfer): "I hit you with SPARKLES!"

Me (as Wolverine): "I HATE sparkles!"

Khan: "But they make you pretty like a princess."

Me: "Oh, well when you put it that way..."

[BearLeeBadenaugh]

Ahhh, sparkles. Makes me think of my brother in law(14 yrs younger than my wife) when he was eight. He and a few friends were playing superheros, unfortunately under the supervision of a textaholic 16yr old.

Spiderman's webs were gel shaving cream(actually shoots fairly far, wtf were they thinking?) and silver surfer raided the craft cabinet.....

old LARPer trick the birdseed missle, aka a handful of birdseed in full size sheet of paper towel....

prankster trick, same with flour.....

silver surfer, bit of flour and about a jar of glitter in each missle.

I should see if my FIL can send me some pics from back then.



So far, the best my son has done was stomping on two mcd's sweet n sour cups.

[AnaKhouri]

Capri Sun packages are GREAT for that. Stomp on a full one and KAPOW!

Not that my angelic son has ever done that, instigated by his older friend.

[fireheart]

Friend with the 2-year-old (who shall be known as baby charmed) shared this little gem tonight.

She'd told baby Charmed to stay on the "little lounge" (one of those kids fold-out sofas) so she could settle down and get ready for bed. Well she's sitting on it and pushing it around with her legs so she's technically still "on" it.

Her baby brother has also become quite the poser in photos.

One of my high school almuni is now a father-of-two. He also works in the mines, so he misses his son growing up. Apparently his fiancee/wife sent him a photo where his (roughly 2-3 year old) son was sitting in the "armchair" area of their sofa set watching Giggle and Hoot. (the chairs are those "home cinema" style ones with the massive space in between to store things)

[iPanda]

Oh god xD this forum made me remember. At work, this 5 year old runs up to me, "Today I jumped off the buss, today"
"oh did you? Be careful! You could get hurt"
"No no its okay because I jumped off the roof"
o.o "the roof??! Well, be careful! I don't want you to get hurt!!"
"its okay, cause I jumped off the roof and -- and the bus has a robot arm that catches you if you fall!"
"uh... Okay, that's great but remember to be careful"

I didn't know how to respond so I just kept repeating myself... I still don't know what he was talking about! Heh xD

[FormerCallingCardRep]

According to my Grandson Bug, I am a bad Gamma and have to go to time out because Mommy has to come to work

[fireheart]

Several of my classmates are mothers. A few of them have recent kids.

One of them bought her roughly 18-month-old kid in today. (tutor didn't mind)

The kid proceeded to do the following in the course of a 90 minute workshop:

-Scatter some counting blocks around near her mum.
-Put one of said counting blocks in my bag.
-Try to escape twice (I had to pick her up and bring her back to mum so she wouldn't trip over my laptop cord)
-chew on one of the smartboard "markers" (basically, the whiteboard has four markers: red, green, blue and black. The board registers that the first one picked up is the colour that's meant to be used, so for a while, the red and blue pens wrote with black "ink")
-drool all over her mummy's notebook.
-completely distract the tutor (which was quite cute)

So funny.

[AnaKhouri]

Good thing you like kids. I would have been horribly irritated.

Today my kid and some other kid on the playground were playing knights and dragons. I talked them into playing Siegfried and Fafner. I convinced them it was a true story.

[fireheart]

cute.

A former work colleague of mine is also a mum of 3 (she was actually pregnant while I was still there).
This is from her facebook page:

told <son> to put the rubbish in the bin in the toilet, he came back and said "mummy is not flushing down". OH NO. 0_0

Anyone want to guess where the rubbish went?

[AnaKhouri]

Khan: "Where's the sun going?"

Me: "The sun doesn't move, it always stays in one place. But the Earth is moving and since we're on Earth, to us it looks like the sun is moving."

Khan: "It's going to the playground with its huge mechanical arms!"

Education fail.

[fireheart]

very cute.

I remember an event that occurred when I was in Year 3 at school.

One of the girls in my class was a little bit...strange. Just in general she was strange.

Later on, I learned that she had lesbian parents, but that's NOTHING to do with her being weird I swear

Anyway, I remember we were busy sneaking through the gardens at school and she announces to me: "When I grow up, I want to be a lesbian like my mum!"