Get out the 2x4s...(major issues, possibly nsfw)

[Tama]

Her C-Section is scheduled for the end of the month. She's been nice, but...

But I'm waiting for her to get nasty. There's yet another new guy in her life though, and taxes are coming in, so the next outburst may not happen for awhile.

I'm trying to work up the courage to actually really ASK my aunt and uncle, because ...well, it's not just ME , it's the fact that they have a successful daughter in her last year of high school, and...yeah.

I can't say I'll much miss Al's mom or the kid, who's three. The mother is clingy, and looks hurt if I mention leaving, even though Al and I aren't engaged anymore and (saw this by accident when I was logging onto a gmail) he's considering dating someone else. Does she expect me to stay forever?

We had to go to Big State Uni Hospital, and I happened to notice that they have a Japanese lang/lit MAJOR. Got excited. Did Tarot. Got Ace of Cups from two app decks.

And the best part is, they're cheaper per semester than the local Big Former Girls Uni. The key is to be instate, or else your wallet pays dearly. Like, triple. So...yeah. ....only thing I see wrong is my two (or was it 3) D and below classes. They didn't transfer to my current CC, but it's on the transfer read of Big State Uni to have no grade lower than C- ..

[Tama]

Finally got around to telling my aunt that Al and I aren't an item anymore.

Al is as frustrated as I am. He works hard, and all his family (the useless sister and his disabled mother, who SHOULD be in a facility due to her difficulties) do is reach into his pocket for more, and more, and more. Yet they will do nothing to make sure we don't have $500+ phone bills, etc.

At this point, I wish Al the best. Maybe if I leave he'll be able to figure it out and actually do something.

Anyway, it's about me now. Even if my aunt+uncle don't take me, there's the Salvation Army. I have a $3 change slip from the bus. I've heard a lot of bad things about the SA but frankly right now, they'd be the only other place I'd be willing to go.

(Going to my brother would mean being around my dad a lot. I ain't having any of that)

The only problem will be finding an opportune time to slip out. The only real times I could manage it is during naptime (usually somewhere from 4-9, if the sister's not upstairs) or at ass o' clock in the morning when my aunt would be going to work. I'm not sure when she and my uncle get off work, presumably they both work first shift.


The C-Section is getting closer. She's having one health problem after another -- and I have no pity for her. She knew damn well the risks she had the LAST TIME she got pregnant, and didn't do SHIT to prevent it happening again!


What I'd really like is some accountability people. I've let this go, for far too long. As Al keeps saying to me, "You repress EVERYTHING." I've been afraid of everything. I let my health slide. I let chores slide. Etc. Just want people to nag me, you know?

Just wish I knew if Salvation Army has Wifi...

PS....HOLY SHIT. The first post of this topic was in f*cking APRIL. Of LAST YEAR.


PPS...I think I have The Killing Joke to thank for this burst of energy. It would be so WEIRD to be able to say "Batman/The Joker saved my life...." later on.

PPPS. Facebooking with aunt. I am suffering from intentional verbal diarrhea in the hopes of having her be another accountability person. If more people know, more people'll kick my ass. In a good way.

[houdini]

Good luck. I think getting out of there will be the best thing you can do :-) We'll keep bugging you!

[Gizmo]

have you tried googling the SA facilities to see if they have Wifi?

[cleorose]

I was 26 when I got my license. I paid 160 for 6 weeks of personal one on one classes. And it was worth it.

Do you have a plasma place near you that can start bringing in money that way. Most people qualify. Unless you are like me and your veins are buried so deep they need ultrasounds to give you IVs. (True story. btw)

I agree with separating bank accounts. You are not married. And I would not do anything joint for the first 3 years of marriage. I say this because MOST couples especially young ones divorce in less than 5. And if and when you do get married to this guy, I am sure his sister will always be present to some degree in his life and home.

Cutting toxic family members is tough. And it takes a strong person to do it.

[Tama]

Al needed my account to put things in (like a tax refund) at one point as he lost his own, but he has his own now (albeit, an insanely limited one because the other one was closed) and there is no need for that.

There is a plasma place nearby, albeit one with a bad rep (for missing veins, apparently), though I have a great vein on my right arm. Nurses are always happy when they have to give me anything because it's a healthy blue vein in plain sight. I'll have to look into that.

As far as driving, I'll see what I can do. My aunt and uncle, if I go with them, can teach me to drive, and if I end up at the Salvation Army, I can use the bus until I'm steady enough jobwise or whatever to get driving that way. Or perhaps the aunt and uncle could still teach me driving while I am staying there even if they can't/won't take me in. Either way, I'll be fine.

I need to find a good list or two of what to pack. Odds are it would be in a backpack...I don't own much besides my clothes (secondhand 3ds, tablet, etc), so I'd need to think about that.



I'm sure that she will be around. For a while. This woman has no job, and cries that she can't get one, or doesn't have time, etc (zomg my disabled mother and kid need me! ...which I would believe, if she was handling this the way she thought she was). She's had tons of opportunities and always just let them go. Her best friend who will commonly keep her out all day when she calls (oh by the way she is meant to be on bed rest, and will go out with this girl, because "she needs me") and of course there's the guys she talks to. Almost constantly. And they're always creeps.



It warms my dark little Bat-lighted heart to think that my absence means she might actually have to act like a fucking adult and take care of her own kid instead of shoving her off on her mother, and me. I am waiting only for the C-section (which should happen late this week or early next) and for her to come home as Al had to take 3 days off work (using up all his absence-without-us-talking-to-you callout days) due to the snow. So he won't have to take any time off work.


Al...I don't know. If the sister stays around, I won't. I can't do this. Once I leave, that's it, unless something is done about her, there is no going back. This is why I am in no hurry whatsoever to reconcile the engagement with him.


PS: Why did I not think of googling this? I swear I'm an idiot sometimes.

[Jester]

Why wait for an "opportune time"? Why not just.....leave? Why does it matter if they know you are going? In short....fuck 'em.



"If you were waiting for the opportune moment, that was it." -Captain Jack Sparrow.

[Tama]

I'm merely staying long enough for the C-section to happen and the sister to return home, so Al doesn't get fucked over with his workplace. He's the only other able-bodied adult in the house besides myself (not counting the sister), and can't afford to take time off.

As the C-section is late this week/early next, it's not long, and it gives me some time to pack and whatnot.

The rub is more the time of day than the day itself, is what I mean. This chicky really dislikes me (at least, when she's in one of her anger modes) so I would prefer to pick a time when she's asleep/not here. But given her track record, that shouldn't be an issue overall.

[Gizmo]

Its easy to be sucked into the "until X", I agree as Patiokitty says.

I did the same "until the house is sold......" and then got the hint that I NEEDED to leave before I was suicidal again.

I can understand not wanting to leave them in the lurch but make the decision for YOU. not them.

[Tama]

I finally told my aunt.

She'd invited me over for a weekend (next weekend), you see, and I took the plunge and asked if I could, once the visit was over, have her drop me off at the Salvation Army since she's unable to have me stay with her and my uncle.

I am literally shaking. I have gotten it out to her. And I'm scared as fuck. This is NOTHING. I only asked her a question. Why should this have such a hard effect?

EDIT: And now she wants me to call her. I am calling.


EDIT 2: I had a longish talk with her and my uncle and they have agreed to come get me this weekend.

I would like to thank everyone for kicking my ass.

Choice bits of conversation include:

This is the most mature thing you've done in a while

We've got your back

Re my not getting out much and muttering excuses about stammering and nervousness while talking over the phone:

Well when you don't get out much, that happens

She also wanted me to make a list of what I'm going to do to actually better myself, like, get a job, get DL, etc.

[Gizmo]

Hun, making that step out of the 'comfort zone' of KNOWN misery IS scary.

I had the same in December when it really did hit me that I would be looking for a rental in January to get away from my outgoing husband.

The week I moved I was a wreck.

As for the list of things you want to do to move on/ better yourself - yep, do it. because once you start writing that list those little things that you don't dare to dream may whisper to you and make themselves known. And one of those may well be your next step to personal freedom and being what YOU want to be. xx

[sms001]

... make a list of what I'm going to do to actually better myself....

It takes a lot to make someone where I live look forward to winter, but I can't wait to see where you are this time next year.

[Tama]

I put it off a week. Al begging me not to go.

They're supposed to arrive in the next 20 minutes so it looks like I'll be having a fuss.

Nerves shot. Type like caveman. (Ha ha)

[Tama]

Well...I'm gone. It is done.

Al called my aunt's number, the last number on my text log, almost crying. 'Don't you know what this is doing to me'....etc. 'Come back'...

And I feel awful...heart racing.

Worry. Worry.

But it is done. It is DONE. I may have lost him, but ... I'm not there anymore.

Guilt is high over him, but...but he ....yeah. He just ...nothing to say there.

EDIT: So he's calmed down. Looks like he's going to be okay with it.

[Kheldarson]

Yay for getting out of there!

Yeah, it'll be hard getting over him, but remember, it's not about him. It's about you. You need what's best for you. And he wasn't helping you achieve your best.