Things I am not allowed to do at work.

[Gilhelmi]

Go to the alternatives on your playlist....

Suicide is Painless,They're Coming To Take Me Away Haha!,When I'm Dead and Gone

I can sing "Amazing Grace" to the tune of suicide is painless.

So far only one (older, of course) Sargent ever got how dark my joke was.

[fireheart]

I am not allowed to wear a t-shirt to work saying "Mentula: it's what's for dinner."
Or any shirt with a variation of that phrase.

I AM allowed to decorate my namebadge as long as my name isn't obscured (this year's theme: the fishies following the big whale )

[crazylegs]

I must not embarrass the regional managers in public by proving them wrong with multiple evidence sources.

(must admit, felt good though when I did it )

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

The restrooms are technically part of the salesfloor, in that we share them with customers.

Therefore no cursing in them, not even to holler "Courtesy flush, dammit!" at my co-worker in the stall.

[catcul]

I'm not allowed into the operating room without putting on special clothing.

If I don't, I might make the surgeons angry. They wear masks, carry knives, and know exactly where my vulnerable spots are.

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

And no playing games with a brick in the backroom, or anyplace else on store property.

[EricKei]

I am not allowed to wear a t-shirt that has a depiction of a single wing with a halo above it, and reads "Jenova's Witness." Is it my fault that people can't tell that's an N and not an H? >_<

[fireheart]

I'm not allowed to sing "I'm Minted" to the Year 7 students at my school.

[Kit-Ginevra]

Are you allowed to use them in some form of human catapult?Or human skittle alley?

I have ideas....

[fireheart]

Are you allowed to use them in some form of human catapult?Or human skittle alley?

I have ideas....

You're evil

My kindergarten class have enough energy to rival them though!

[fireheart]

New things from the last few weeks of work:

-Not allowed to open my mouth when in earshot of the boss (he has a gutter mind)
-Not allowed to bring pets into work.
-Not allowed to suggest the idea of bringing pets into work.
-Not allowed to suggest the idea of having an "OSHC" pet.
-The chickens that several schools have for various reasons, are not the OSHC pets.
-The chickens are not to be used for cooking.
-Not allowed to suggest having chickens as pets (this one's legitimate, as we're an "anaphylaxis-friendly" company, no egg products on-site...we're not anal-retentive about this)
-Not allowed to replace my lanyard with a rainbow lanyard.
-Not allowed to put "YMCA" on the CD player.
-Or bring in a CD with "the world's greatest dance mixes" (ie Macarena, YMCA, Nutbush, Gangnam Style etc.)
-Not allowed to replace my work shirt with one that says "Kiss me I'm Irish"
....or replace my work shirt with anything period.
....unless bossman approves.

Not allowed to suggest a dress-up day for fundraising at work. (again, bossman's gutter mind)
Not allowed to suggest crazy hair day at work.

[wolfie]

-Not allowed to replace my lanyard with a rainbow lanyard.

Does the supplied lanyard have a breakaway device? This is a safety measure - if the lanyard gets caught on something, the breakaway will separate with a few pounds of tension, keeping it from strangling the wearer.

If it doesn't (and I've seen a lot that don't - including those distributed with ID cards at trade shows), then there's an occupational health and safety issue. Wearing the (no-breakaway) company-supplied lanyard instead of your own (with breakaway) is an unsafe practice - and you can't help it if the first breakaway lanyard you were able to find was a rainbow one.

[NecessaryCatharsis]

I don't think I'm understanding lanyard. The clip on nylon rope with the elastic shock absorber that clips on the harness to stop you from falling to your death. With a break away feature?

[dalesys]

I don't think I'm understanding lanyard. The clip on nylon rope with the elastic shock absorber that clips on the harness to stop you from falling to your death. With a break away feature?

Referring to a strap around the neck for keys, whistles, access/ID cards...
whackypedia ...
Keeps your face from following your ID card into the shredder you were leaning over...

You're thinking of the hillbilly parachute type: opens on impact.

To me, a lanyard is something to be yanked to fire a cannon...

[Kit-Ginevra]

....or replace my work shirt with anything period.

As in a white shirt with red spots on?