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"You got the part?!? You're the man Spiffy!"
"Don't worry, I'm sure I'll fuck up later today..."
"Don't worry, I'm sure I'll fuck up later today..."
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I pray for the strength to change what I can, the inability to change what I can't, and the incapacity to tell the difference -Calvin, Calvin & Hobbes
Being a pessimist and cynical wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't right so often!
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"Is there really bananas in the split banana cream pie?"
*laughs echo through the kitchen* "yes."
(a few minutes later) So there's really cocunut in cocunut cream pie?"
"Watch it Tithera. Those are my boobies."
"Oh, sorry T."
"Eh, I hope they'll grow.*clutches breasts* Grow damn you!"
"Hey, where do we keep the blue liquid that cleans the dirty glass?"Just because they serve you, doesn't mean they like you. And just because they smile and act polite doesn't mean they aren't planning to destroy you.
"I put the laughter in slaughter."Comment
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"I've been here almost ten years."
"Yeah, that's kinda pathetic."
"So what exactly can you do with a dustpan and glass cleaner?"
"I'm McGyver. I can build anything out of this shit. 20 minutes from now I'll have a nuclear bomb and an ATV."
"Thank you for quitting without notice. I'm kinda broke and I needed the overtime.""Who loves not women, wine, and song remains a fool his whole life long" ~Martin Luther
"Always send a lazy man to the angel of death" ~Martin Luther
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"I'm doing the floor, 'cos I just got new floor juice.""I can tell her you're all tied up in the projection room." Sunset Boulevard.Comment
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"Although being the weirdo that I am I have to point out that if he'd had his throat cut the scar would be much wider and up under his jaw, from about corner to corner...don't ask me how I know this.""Respect: to admit that something one may not enjoy or prefer might still have great value." ~L. MunoaComment
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When was the last time you heard the phrase "knuckle sandwich" used seriously in everyday language?I pray for the strength to change what I can, the inability to change what I can't, and the incapacity to tell the difference -Calvin, Calvin & Hobbes
Being a pessimist and cynical wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't right so often!
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"it's like a zillion fuzzy little Hannibal Lecters running around!""Respect: to admit that something one may not enjoy or prefer might still have great value." ~L. MunoaComment
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"all these books are for butt problems. maybe they're on the Alli diet."Kim: She's got one foot in the grave and the other on a banana peel.
I'd like to exercise my constitutional right to not give a fuck.Comment
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"Just let my seeing-eye wife take a look at it."
"The Customer Is Always Right...But The Bartender Decides Who Is Still A Customer."
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"Well, Dan, the good news is you won the wet t-shirt contest.""Who loves not women, wine, and song remains a fool his whole life long" ~Martin Luther
"Always send a lazy man to the angel of death" ~Martin Luther
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I would have given him a shot of adrenaline from the medicine cabinet, but I think he's allergic based on the evidence so far.
RapscallionComment
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"We should have a wet T-shirt contest!!!"
"I'd rather gouge my eyes out and deep-fry my genitals, than see you with a wet T-shirt."
"Now you sound like her boyfriend."It is inaccurate to say that I hate everything. I am strongly in favor of common sense, common honesty, and common decency. This makes me forever ineligible for public office.
~~~H.L. MenckenComment
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"I just wanted to call in and let you know I'm not dead!"
and later that evening
"I just wanted to call and let you know that Bob isn't dead...""In the end I was the mean girl/or somebody's in between girl"~Neko Case
“You don't need many words if you already know what you're talking about.” ~William StaffordComment
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Some mornings I come in early so I get control of the radio. I turn it to country so I can listen to different music I hate.I have PMS and a black belt. Any questions?
This random moment is brought to you by the letters A D and D.Comment
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"Yes that door was locked and I'm Kitty Pryde and I just phased through it.""I can tell her you're all tied up in the projection room." Sunset Boulevard.Comment
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