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I am Darth Chef of the Death Kitchen. You will eat your brussells sprouts.
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The best karma is letting a jerk bash himself senseless on the wall of your polite indifference.
The stupid is strong with this one. -
Tell that insurance lady I want to take out policies on several employees and find out how soon they'll go into effect 'cause I'm gonna kill them.
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I've done told Grocery Manager about having sex with those wild women in the backroom and he needed to make sure they washed their asses to get rid of that tuna smell.
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I do have douches over on Aisle 6, and plenty of feminine spray . . . if that don't kill that tuna smell, nothing will. Industrial strength.
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Hey, Ma, do you have to go home and change clothes before you come back to work?
Human Resources - the adult version of "I'm telling Mom." - Agent Anthony "Tony" DiNozzo (NCIS)
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If you don't have to pee after that it's not done right!No trees were killed in the posting of this message.
However, a large number of electrons were terribly inconvenienced.
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If this keeps up, I'm gonna start putting steroids on my balls!Comment
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*discussion about football*
Jeff: You could always cover it in birthing agent...then it'd go down REAL smooth.
Jeff: Just make sure to use pig birthing agent. Cow agent is yellow and smells strange.
Tim: Jeff, only you could tie birthing agent and football together.
Jeff: I can tie all sorts of things together. ...Then, the birthing agent REALLY would come in handy.
Tim: Sounds like a fun friday night to me. Too bad it's saturday.Coworker: Distro of choice?
Me: Gentoo.
Coworker: Ahh. A Masochist. I thought so.Comment
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NSFW
"Is that the biggest dildo you sell? she's an exxxtra large"
btw - 'she' was standing right there turning a wonderful shade of red.
("she" was standing right there)It's a tough row to hoe, and I'm just the Joe to hoe it.
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me " would you like a bag for that?"
sc " naw, she's at home, thats why i'm buying porn."It's a tough row to hoe, and I'm just the Joe to hoe it.Comment
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"Boring man, boring man, kills braincells faster than anyone can..."
RapscallionComment
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me to very gay customer "yah I tried that new stout, it was sooooo good, dark and thick and had really nice head." ..... <face palm> "I can't believe I just said that."It's a tough row to hoe, and I'm just the Joe to hoe it.Comment
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"Well if you don't see a penis just assume its a girl"Comment
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The best part of Snoopy ran down his daddy's leg years ago.
She ain't mincing words today, is she?
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If you come across the Donner Party on the way over here with the order, just go in the opposite direction they send you. You may live longer that way.
Human Resources - the adult version of "I'm telling Mom." - Agent Anthony "Tony" DiNozzo (NCIS)Comment
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"....Why are you covered in glitter?"
"I'm a vampire! Let me chew on you!"I have CDO. It's kinda like OCD, but the letters are where they should be!
After Tuesday, even the calendar goes W T F...Comment
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"Here's something you've always wanted!"
"Syphilis?"Unseen but seeing
oh dear, now they're masquerading as sane-KiaKat
There isn't enough interpretive dance in the workplace these days-Irv
3rd shift needs love, too
RIP, mo bhrionglóidComment
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[stated proudly] I'm only two years away from a bachelor's degree!"I look at the stars. It's a clear night and the Milky Way seems so near. That's where I'll be going soon. "We are all star stuff." I suddenly remember Delenn's line from Joe's script. Not a bad prospect. I am not afraid. In the meantime, let me close my eyes and sense the beauty around me. And take that breath under the dark sky full of stars. Breathe in. Breathe out. That's all."
-Mira FurlanComment
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