Workday Phrases of Lore and Legend

[KhirasHY]

"No, all you do is dial 1-1-1-1-1, 1-2-3-4-5. See, 1-1-1-1..."
"NO FUCKER! You just dialed a room!"
"Oh...ok, let's do it with a line out then. 9-1-1..."
"GOD DAMNIT NO! You just dialed 911 shithead! Stop trying to jingle bells our phones and calling the authorities."

[Enigma]

"Okay, you punch her in the head and I'll grab the goods"
"No no, you trip her and I'll run, your too fat"
"What are you guys talking about?"
"Hey, J how'd you know I wanted a wii?"


"Alright kiddo's, let's get this chicken dancing funky"

[Dreamstalker]

"Is there any piece of electronics here that's NOT possessed?"

[Shangri-laschild]

"Its gonna be like a snowball effect. He's gonna want you to come over, then he's gonna make you eat some cheese with him, then he's gonna try and put his arm around you, then he's gonna try and woo you with his knowledge of videogames. You cant let this happen. "
"He already tried."
"He made you eat cheese? That bastard..."

[edible_hat]

"Now see, if you'd written my car or dad's car, she probably would have done it."
"Even though neither of those cars were here?"
"Now there's an obvious flaw in the plan."

[smoorman76]

"I figured out how to take it apart, I should be able to figure out how to put it back together."

[the toy guy]

"I found a couple of wolves loose in the store."

[Fenrus]

"So I wanted a lamb cake for my birthday. A lemon lamb cake"

[Fenrus]

"And... oh whats his name... the black Spider man"
"Black spiderman, he doesn't have a name"
"yeah he does, whats his name?"
"he doesn't have a name"
me: "venom?"
"Yeah! Venom's his name. Hey A! His name's Venom!"
"He has a name? Really? No shit"

[Spiffy McMoron]

"It'll be like a cockfight. But instead of using cocks, they'll use a couple of dicks."

[Rapscallion]

"'Obviate' is a word that needs dusting off from time to time."

Rapscallion

[edible_hat]

"I've hurt my back."
"Maybe your husband did it."
"No, sex after marriage doesn't exist."


(later, discussing above) "It did for him, he's got 5 kids."

[Rapscallion]

"Today's shift report was brought to you by the word 'arseholes' and the number '666'."

Rapscallion

[Becks]

"Are you lactating?"

[KhirasHY]

"Welcome to another night of dealing with the idiots! Anyone get hard nipples about that? Didn't think so."

"You have a check-in coming. Try not to fire up the ineptitude rockets this time."

"Have a good night, and thanks for choosing the (hotel)."
(Under breath) "And thanks for the clean balls!"