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Workday Phrases of Lore and Legend

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  • "I want you to fire everyone here except Dreamstalker."
    "That still won't make cloning legal."
    "I am quite confident that I do exist."
    "Excuse me, I'm making perfect sense. You're just not keeping up." The Doctor

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    • "Luuuunch.. YES! Mike can back-door me on this one, if it's free I'll get it in me"
      "Um... "That's what she said...?" and don't you mean back me on this one?"
      "If I wanted a english lesson, I'd suck J.K. Rowling"
      "Wait.. what? and don't you mean "an" english lesson "
      "I'ma spank your ass"
      " Yea that's right, let it all out. The sexual frustration is Strooooooong with you!!! "

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      • "I don't know how to do this."

        "There's the screw hole."
        This site proves Corey Taylor right. Man really is a "four letter word."

        I'm now using my Deviant Art page to post my humor.

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        • "The man is back on my roof trying to take my house apart!"
          "For a musician, the SNES sound engine is like using Crayola Crayons. Nobuo Uematsu used Crayola Crayons to paint the Sistine Chapel." - Jeremy Jahns (re: "Dancing Mad")
          "The difference between an amateur and a master is that the master has failed way more times." - JoCat
          "Thinking is difficult, therefore let the herd pronounce judgment!" ~ Carl Jung
          "There's burning bridges, and then there's the lake just to fill it with gasoline." - Wiccy, reddit
          "Retail is a cruel master, and could very well be the most educational time of many people's lives, in its own twisted way." - me
          "Love keeps her in the air when she oughta fall down...tell you she's hurtin' 'fore she keens...makes her a home." - Capt. Malcolm Reynolds, "Serenity" (2005)
          Acts of Gord – Read it, Learn it, Love it!
          "Our psychic powers only work if the customer has a mind to read." - me

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          • "I've got to go home and do my BUTT exercise".

            Queue my warped mind going in several very interesting directions.
            I'm lost without a paddle and headed up SH*T creek.
            -- Life Sucks Then You Die.


            "I'll believe corp. are people when Texas executes one."

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            • "There's a lot going on in my pockets."
              "For a musician, the SNES sound engine is like using Crayola Crayons. Nobuo Uematsu used Crayola Crayons to paint the Sistine Chapel." - Jeremy Jahns (re: "Dancing Mad")
              "The difference between an amateur and a master is that the master has failed way more times." - JoCat
              "Thinking is difficult, therefore let the herd pronounce judgment!" ~ Carl Jung
              "There's burning bridges, and then there's the lake just to fill it with gasoline." - Wiccy, reddit
              "Retail is a cruel master, and could very well be the most educational time of many people's lives, in its own twisted way." - me
              "Love keeps her in the air when she oughta fall down...tell you she's hurtin' 'fore she keens...makes her a home." - Capt. Malcolm Reynolds, "Serenity" (2005)
              Acts of Gord – Read it, Learn it, Love it!
              "Our psychic powers only work if the customer has a mind to read." - me

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              • "Who has the gun?"
                This site proves Corey Taylor right. Man really is a "four letter word."

                I'm now using my Deviant Art page to post my humor.

                Comment


                • Me: "Okay, I'll get rid of the strippers."
                  Security officer: "Thank you!"
                  Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

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                  • "It's not a dust bunny *tribe*... it's a *universe*..."
                    Is it Asshole Day or what? - MoonCat
                    It's ALWAYS Asshole Day. - Jay2KWinger

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                    • Looks like <Bossman> is selling dishwashers. The alarm clock is on.
                      πϱ -- The Greek Society you've been burning to join!

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                      • Don't cut the rope you are hanging from!
                        No trees were killed in the posting of this message.

                        However, a large number of electrons were terribly inconvenienced.

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                        • "I love fucking fiberglass."
                          "I am quite confident that I do exist."
                          "Excuse me, I'm making perfect sense. You're just not keeping up." The Doctor

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                          • "No matter how I handle it, I can't get it up!"
                            When you start at zero, everything's progress.

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                            • "'It is a mouthful of fun.' What does that even mean?"

                              "Come back here and I'll show you."
                              Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

                              "I never said I wasn't a horrible person."--Me, almost daily

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                              • Quoth Irving Patrick Freleigh View Post
                                "Does this box smell like chloroform to you?"
                                Quoth Food Lady View Post
                                Irv, I need to come work at your store.
                                Don't ask me why I was digging through this thread, but I thought everybody should know we actually did freak out one of our managers with that.

                                She marched right to my supervisor and told her "You know, I think those guys are talking about CHLOROFORMING a WOMAN!"

                                Breaking the rule of this thread for a moment--this was triggered by a bottle of kitchen cleaner with bleach leaking in a box.

                                On another note, the swamp is always accepting applications and we're always looking for new freight teammates. We're an equal opportunity employer; exceptionally horrible people are encouraged to apply.
                                Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

                                "I never said I wasn't a horrible person."--Me, almost daily

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