Workday Phrases of Lore and Legend

[Rapscallion]

"The first aid room is not to be used for any purpose other than first aid. So please do not rinse out cups in the sink there or leave bottles of rapeseed and massage oil in there."

Rapscallion

[Rapscallion]

"It sounds as if you have a martian sat on your face."

Rapscallion

[Rapscallion]

"Soap samples, apparently with a pubic hair already implanted in each one. Must be for the customers who really don't have enough time in the day to do the essential things."

Rapscallion

[kaetchen]

"You better grab your jugs and get down there."

[crazylegs]

The boss has been enjoying her crumpets this week.

[CaroPhoenix]

"Being a Satanist takes too much work. I'd rather be a Satinist."

"Well, technically, I'm not on fire."

"I have too much blood in my caffeine stream."

[kaetchen]

"I was gonna go there and ask them if they knew how to play 'Do your boobs hang low?"

"It's supposed to be Ears, G."

"Ooooh. I didn't know that. I thought it was boobs."

[Cyanocobalamin]

G: Hey, M do you have a sec?
M: I don't have any secs.

[edible_hat]

"Let's play tomato soccer!"
"No! There are no winners in tomato soccer."
"Is that the voice of experience?"
"Yes. Also it's really hard to get tomato juice out of leather pants."

[KhirasHY]

"Hey, did you talk to that guy?"
"Which one?"
"The one who looks like a prick from 80 yards away."

"Is the door locked? The sign there said it was."
"Uhm...sir...?"
"Yes, I realized that right as I finished the sentence. Thanks!"

"Do you have any weapons on you right now?"
"No, officer."
"..."
"...So, when you said 'No, officer', did you mean 'except for the handgun'?"

"Hey! Good morning!"
"Burn in hell you cheery fucker, it's too early for that shit."

"Why are you so pissed?"
"Because I've only worked 6 hours."
"How many hours do you have left?"
"6 hours."

[crazylegs]

Wet knickers and itching all over, now *that's* a holiday!

[draftermatt]

I''m having one of those days where I have plenty to do but no desire to do it"

"So a Monday through Friday?"

[scroob]

just don't be male for a minute...

[edible_hat]

"The car wash is full of..."
"Oh, oh! Pick me! I know this one! Cars!"


"This whole thing's just an excuse to say penis in public, isn't it?"
"Penis. I mean yes."

[Spiffy McMoron]

Bob Saget is a vile disgusting human being. The things he said he did with Kimmy Gibbler...