Public Address systems and the fun they cause.

[Lace Neil Singer]

Ages ago, this came on the intercom: "Will the owner of the yellow Robin Reliant, registration number *** please come to Customer Services, now!" Before anyone could say anything, one of my supervisors yelled out, "Del Boy is at our store!"

[MadMike]

One time, I picked up the phone to make a page, and then dropped it right after I dialed the code for the intercom. Made this loud clattering noise throughout the store. Then when I tried to speak, I burst out laughing, which again was heard all over the store. I had to hang it up, compose myself, and then try again.

[Phoenix79]

When I was a cashier at Payless Cashways (hardware store), a really rude manager had us all working late after the store closed cleaning up her department (she was the plubming manager). Not our job, and we wanted to go home. We told her we wanted to go home . . . she then proceeded to pick up the phone and say over the PA system "NO ONE is going home until the plumbing department is spotless!!!"

I'd had enough of her that day . . . so I picked up the phone and yelled "I f##$ing quit you stupid cow!" Then I walked out into the parking lot (My ride had been waiting on me for 1/2 hour), took off my uniform shirt (had a white tee underneath), threw it on the ground and stomped on it a few times . . . and never looked back.

I was only 16 years old . . . and it felt really good to throw a hissy like that!!

Phoenix

[Witch of Endor]

I'm jealous, I've never worked in a place with a PA system before.

Once when I was about three, I got lost in a department store (Eaton's or Simpson's, probably -- showing my age here). I knew that the thing to do was to find someone who worked there, so I went to the cash and told the clerk that I was lost. She picked me up and put me on the counter and asked me for my mother's name, but instead I leaned over to the PA mic and called for my mother myself.

[delorean623]

I was bored at work one night... Our store closes at 11pm. Usually I make the closing announcement at 1045, 1050, 1055 and 11.
This night, this is how my closing announcement went:

Attention Hastings guests, the time is now 9:15 and our store will be closed in 1 hour and 45 minutes. Please make your way up to our front lit registers, for your convenience we will be opening up at 9 am tomorrow morning, and as always we thank you for shopping at Hastings....your entertainment superstore.

[Rubyred]

My ex would always get on the B&N PA system and make chicken noises.

His manager thought it was the funniest thing in the world.

[bigjimaz]

What, person was so brain-dead they needed a forensics expert to help them figure out what they needed?

Maybe I was hoping Marg Helgenberger would show up instead of The Phyllis Diller look-alike that was on duty.

[Gawdzillers]

I went to Tampa a week ago, and as we were about to board, an employee came on the PA and said, "Attention the flight from *some other place* has been delayed because of a storm" Everyone in that line groaned. Then came, "If you don't believe me, come look at the radar."

[repsac]

Flying out of Memphis several years ago, I remember one announcement that is funny now, but at the time wasn't.

Here we are sitting in the plane waiting for takeoff, when the pilot comes over the PA system. His voice was very quiet, very calm, and yet it reminded me of Harrison Ford in Star wars when he was talking into the mike in the detention cell. Basically, someone winging it.

I'll never forget what that pilot said either:

Attention passengers, would you please debark the plane in an even and orderly manner? Our engines are on fire.

[JustADude]

It wasn't an 's' or 'f' bomb, but right after the TV show started, I paged a CSI (instead of a CSM) to my register for customer assistance.

What, person was so brain-dead they needed a forensics expert to help them figure out what they needed?

[RentalRacer]

I used to enjoy sucking helium and then making my pages. Always good for a laugh.

We had an older woman that worked in the deli who was known to stutter when she got flustered. One time she was getting slammed with customers so she paged her manager for help....K-k-k-kelly to the d-d-d-deli. Even though it was wrong, we all had to laugh at that one.

[bigjimaz]

It wasn't an 's' or 'f' bomb, but right after the TV show started, I paged a CSI (instead of a CSM) to my register for customer assistance.

[Erin]

I used to use this announcement whenever we got lost kids in the Fabric/Crafts Department in WalMart.

"Will the mommy who is lost please come to the Craft Dept. Your three-year old would like to speak with you".

[Gurndigarn]

Gurndigarn, I think I know which carrier that is...

Not unless they've been doing the same joke for the last 22 years... that's how long ago I heard it. That was on a different leg of the trip where we flew around a tornado in a DC-3. (No, I didn't realize it until we were on the ground. But I had a window seat and remember the wings flapping up and down like a bird as we taxied down the runway for takeoff. I swear that the wingtips were coming within a meter of the ground.)

[BrightEyedKitty]

Middle of the day page is hit. The president comes on and announces. "Attention ***** Employees. You are all fired. Thank you."

Yay! No more work for a while and UNEMPLOYMENT BENEFITS!! *dashes out door before they change their mind*