The Sign we all Wish we Could Have

[Lulu]

There's a cycle shop down the road from my bookshop that has some brilliant signs taped up in the window:

"Unattended children will be used as free manual labour in our cycle repair sweat shop."

"We do part exchange! Not applicable when paying with first born, limbs or internal organs."

And my favourite...all their opening times read like this :

9.00am-ish to 5.00pm-ish



I've BEGGED my manager to let me have our opening hours like that, she won't lemme *sulks with everyone else*

[WhiteSeaStar]

I like "Shoplifters will be prostituted".

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

I just thought this one up...

Shoplifters will be executed by firing squad three days per week. You guess which three.

[CrazedClerk]

Seen in a Pawn Shop: "In God we Trust, all others pay cash."

At a bar I've been to a few times they have a huge sign that simply says "FREE BEER - Tomorrow!" (see the sign ALWAYS says that so there is no free beer).

At a Hooters once I saw one whcih read: "This sign is in Spanish when you're not looking." Bet that confused a lot of people.

And the classic: "No Trespassing. Violators will be shot. Surivors will be shot again."

[Mike Taylor]

Ooh! Isn't that the sign in the store Jennie Breeden works at in Devil's Panties?
Heck, there was a strip about it. A soccer mom leaves her two kids in the comic store while Jennie's on the phone. She finds the kids. The last panel, they're in bird cages on the counter.

I remember that strip.

I haven't been over to Jennie's board in weeks. I really need to update myself.

[Dips]

At the Gordparents store:

"Refunds cheerfully refused. Store credit only."

And it's true. They are quite cheerful when they refuse refunds.

[Rapscallion]

I remember that strip.

I haven't been over to Jennie's board in weeks. I really need to update myself.

We're still going strong. (Hint: I run that forum as well - different site entirely).

Rapscallion

[Argabarga]

Saw this one awhile back : "Free ride in police car for all shoplifters"

Though you'd have to be pretty ballsy to try it, they were accross the street from the police station.

[Rapscallion]

Wouldn't be much of a ride, then. Not worth it.

Rapscallion, pouting

[KaeZoo]

In a convenience store:

" No Smoking. If we see you smoking we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action. "

In an automotive repair shop:

"Hourly labor: $40
If you watch: $60
If you help: $80"

[ArenaBoy]

There was a great one at this nursing home I visited: "Be nice to your kids, they pick your nursing homes."

[Crosshair]

..."Be nice to your kids, they pick your nursing homes."

I keep telling my mom that.

[purplecat41877]

Saw this one awhile back : "Free ride in police car for all shoplifters"

The retail job I used to work at had a sign very similar to that. Some of the customers thought it was hilarious.

[El Barto]

My Boss put this one up in the office:

"Answers: $1.00
Answers that require thought: $2.00
Correct Answers: $4.00
Dumb looks are still free."

And one our photo lab supervisor made this one and posted it in the lab:

"Photo Lab Motto:
I dont want to and I dont have to"

Our DM found it and we dont have that sign anymore.

[Seanette]

Sighted at a hobby shop we visited yesterday:
"Shoplifters will be killed and eaten."