Telemarketers attack!

[raw456]

The hubby and I recently had a spat of door-to-door visits from Telstra (Aussie equivelent to AT&T) after about the 5th one in 3 weeks I ended up contacting their customer service section and advised them I would file a harrassment suit if they sent any further sales reps to our door. 3 weeks now and I havent seen hide nor hair of any reps. We are also on the do not call list here cause they used to hassle us all the time by phone too.

In response to "religious" sales reps, my favourite response was when I was a teenager and my mother was trying to get rid of some JW's who she used to talk to but didnt want to anymore. after weeks of her making me answer the door to say she was not in, I got sick of it and told them one week that mum had met some guy at at bar who had a yacht and they took off together. Didnt know when she was coming back. My mum was horrified with what I said, but they never came back

[MadMike]

I love how they never seem to figure out that someone who has gone to the trouble to sign up on the DNC list (otherwise known as "the Phone Book") probably won't welcome an unsolicited call from ANY stranger.

You know that, and I know that, and I'm sure 99% of the people who work in "the trenches" know that. But as in any other business, you have these empty suits who, in their infinite wisdom, see only potential dollar signs. They lack the common sense to realize that they might be alienating a few potential customers. All they can think of is that if more people are called, they could bring in more sales or donations.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

I understand that and all, and they always want to tell you that. However, it's moot, really. Bottom line is the person does not want to be bothered, so why on earth would anyone think they'd be a good person to call for a survey or charity or anything else?

Heck, if I ran a charity or a survey company, I'd get my hands on the DNC list and use the heck out it. I'd use it to to figure out who will not respond well to a call. I could probably hire fewer call center ops and waste less time if I could pre-screen out numbers that will have angry, pissed off people on the other end.

[Broomjockey]

So what? You're calling, ain't ya?

How come they can't figure that one out?

I assume so that it's made clear that they're operating within the bounds of the law.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

I love how they never seem to figure out that someone who has gone to the trouble to sign up on the DNC list (otherwise known as "the Phone Book") probably won't welcome an unsolicited call from ANY stranger. They always say "oh, well, the law doesn't cover us, we aren't selling."

So what? You're calling, ain't ya?

How come they can't figure that one out?

[protege]

Lady goes running down the street. Never saw her again

Now that was freaking awesome! But, you were nice to her, and she responded by ignoring you.

My grandfather had a more "direct" approach. That is, he'd politely tell you that he wasn't interested. Second time he'd tell you to leave. Third time...he'd ask my grandmother to "fetch the shotgun" That usually did the trick

[Sapphire Silk]

I've been getting daily calls from "Nielsen Ratings", according to my caller id, though they haven't left a message. Usually I let telemarketers ring through to the answering machine, but yesterday I happened to pick up.

Me: Hello?
NR: Hi, I'm calling from Nielsen Ratings, and we're conducting a short survey . . .
Me (interrupting): I'm on the Do not Call Registry.
NR: Well, since we're not actually trying to sell you anything, we're allowed to call.
Me: OK, well I'm not interested. Please put me on your Do Not Call List
NR: Ma'am if you'll just let me . . .
Me: Not interested. Do not call again *click!*

EE told me I spent too much time talking to her as it was

Door to door religious 'salesmen':

Them: What do you think is the greatest threat to the world today?
Me: Overpopulation. Because (blah blah blah irrelevant.)
Them: (start some spiel about how believing in God will magically solve it.)
Me: Actually, I can see only two ways God can fix overpopulation. He can kill off most of the existing population, which isn't exactly desirable. War, plague, famine, natural disasters - doable, but messy and unpleasant. Or he can prevent conceptions. Much better, since it doesn't hurt anyone currently existing.
And since "the Lord helps those who help themselves", he's given our scientists the means to prevent conception - we have contraceptives, effective ones. We simply need to apply them.
So He's done His part, it's all in our hands now. My family is working on it - three adults, no children. I see you have children, however. I hope you've stuck to replacement level or less.
Them: (utter shock)
Me: I do believe that's all. Thank you for your time. Goodbye.

Awesomely cool. I envy you, I wish I could be that verbally clever on the spot. Usually I just get mad, and then think, "I've should have said . . . "

I used to have a religious saleswoman who would come through the neighborhood about once a week. At the time, I worked nights (7p-7a). I explained to her on two occasions I worked nights, I wasn't interested in discussing religion with her, and that her visits were interrupting my sleep.

Next week comes, and I fall asleep in front of the TV (unusual for me).

*knock knock*

I blearily get to my feet, pulling my blanket around me as I do. It's the same lady.

Me: What? (note to all solicitors: Panacea is not a morning person)
Religious Lady: Hello, I'd like to talk to you about your relationship with God.
Me: My relationship with God is just fine. Look, lady, I've told you I work nights. Quit knocking on my door and waking me up.
RL: This won't take very long, God really wants to talk to YOU *as she tries to PUSH her way into my house!*
Me: Look, lady, I'm a Satanist! *at this point I drop the blanket. I sleep nude in the summer, which this was*

Lady goes running down the street. Never saw her again

[Mnemjian]

Helen Frye handles our telecommunications needs. If you wish to sell us long distance service, you can go to Helen Frye.

I've actually never heard that one! Took me a minute to figure it out... had to say it out loud. I will definitely be using that

[wolfie]

ATT: (Snottiness Factor: 1) Well who may I contact in the future regarding long distance service?

Helen Frye handles our telecommunications needs. If you wish to sell us long distance service, you can go to Helen Frye.

[AriRashkae]

1st one: Probably a little snippy, but at least they were classy in apologizing when they found out how unhappy you were.

2nd one: definitely classy. If they were all like that we wouldn't have the jokes.

[Ironclad Alibi]

Door to door religious 'salesmen':

I love your response to them.

Recent I had a couple of "religious salesmen" knock on my door. The door with the "No Soliciting" sign. When I answered the door, one of them asked what would make me happy. I replied, "Having people respect the 'No Soliciting' sign on my door." He then made some remark about how the county didn't consider what they were doing as soliciting. The conversation didn't last long after that. I posted a note about the encounter on the neighborhood list serve. The next day they were back, apologizing and offered a box of cookies as an atonement. I thanked them for the apology, but declined the cookies. I wonder if they were made aware of the comments I posted?

Another time my wife and I were visiting her mother. She (her mother) had just returned from the hospital and was a bit unsteady. She decided to get up from her chair without telling us and fell. As my wife and I were helping her get up, a couple of "religious salesmen" knocked at the door. I answered the door, but upon hearing who it was my wife called out that we were having a medical emergency and couldn't talk to them. They immediately offered their help, but it wasn't really needed. I was impressed.

[Seshat]

Door to door religious 'salesmen':

Them: What do you think is the greatest threat to the world today?
Me: Overpopulation. Because (blah blah blah irrelevant.)
Them: (start some spiel about how believing in God will magically solve it.)
Me: Actually, I can see only two ways God can fix overpopulation. He can kill off most of the existing population, which isn't exactly desirable. War, plague, famine, natural disasters - doable, but messy and unpleasant. Or he can prevent conceptions. Much better, since it doesn't hurt anyone currently existing.
And since "the Lord helps those who help themselves", he's given our scientists the means to prevent conception - we have contraceptives, effective ones. We simply need to apply them.
So He's done His part, it's all in our hands now. My family is working on it - three adults, no children. I see you have children, however. I hope you've stuck to replacement level or less.
Them: (utter shock)
Me: I do believe that's all. Thank you for your time. Goodbye.


My most successful shutting-down-of-unwelcome-solicitation yet. And FUN.
Come to my house and try to use it as a soapbox, and you deserve to get my opinions. If you don't like them, leave!



(Discussion of the content of my shutting-down-of-unwelcome-solicitation should go to Fratching. As should questions such as whether overpopulation really is the greatest threat we face.)

[Sunsetsky]

Best I've done was:

Solicitor: May I speak to the owner of your practice?
Me: He is unavailable right now. May I take a message?
Solicitor: No that's fine. I can just call back. When will he be available to speak with me?
Me: About 7.
Solicitor: Alright. I'll call back then. Thank you.

We close at 6.

[Andara Bledin]

We get extra fun with solicitors; there's some company that does the semi-shady door-to-door junk sales nearby, so every time one of their "contractors" gets a new shipment of crap, they make the rounds of the surrounding companies.

If they have the misfortune of coming in when the bossman is in a mood, he'll interrupt their pitch and start pitching some product we're selling on eBay.

^-.-^

[protege]

Ugh. Door-to-door types are always the worst. I have no problem with those trying to do a job, but if they interrupt *my* job to do it, I tend to get annoyed. Bonus points awarded, simply because they've ignored the "no soliciting" signs posted. In that case, I'll tell them to get lost. But, before leaving, I'd always send them downstairs to Suite 402. That was the building's management office. They'd go down there, and then get promptly escorted from the building

Too bad my company is no longer in that place. Now, they seem to think "oh look, an office building. Let's go harass the employees, and get upset when we get told to GTFO"