Telemarketers attack!

[Mystic]

She: OK. Mr. Zoom, what kinds of landscaping are you interested in?
Me: None. I'm a secretary. I'm only in it for the money.
She: !!! (click)

I just cracked up laughing. Bravo. Made my day.

[Sheldonrs]

"...Too bad you can't hang up on people when they're right in front of you..."

You can but you need a baseball bat.

[Zoom]

Fun With Telemarketer, 1992

Me: (picks up phone) Good morning, Crappy Landscaping, can I help you?
She: Hello, I represent the National Somethingorother Company, and we're conducting a survey of the landscapers in your area, and were wondering if you had a few minutes to answer some questions?
Me: Sure, go ahead.
She: OK, how long have you been in business?
Me: About a year, maybe a bit less.
She: OK. Are you interested in garden landscaping?
Me: ??? (not sure what she meant) Uh, no.
She: Are you interested in core-aerated landscaping?
Me: (thinks he sees where this is going) Nope.
She: Floral landscaping?
Me: No.
She: Zen landscaping?
Me: No.
She: Origami landscaping?
Me: Nope.
She: Power-tool landscaping?
Me: No.
She: Hyperborean landscaping?
Me: No.
She: Moon rock landscaping?
Me: No.
(this continues a couple of minutes, with bizarre kinds of landscaping I'd never heard of, to which I reply in the negative)
She: Brazen jade laminated polecat landscaping?
Me: No.
She: (getting desperate) Flanged-screw tractor landscaping?
Me: Hmmm.... nope.
She: Radar-enforced steel-belted chrome-plated landscaping?
Me: No.
She: OK. Mr. Zoom, what kinds of landscaping are you interested in?
Me: None. I'm a secretary. I'm only in it for the money.
She: !!! (click)

[Andara Bledin]

As Recovering Kinkoid said, you have absolutely no obligation to give them the time of day. Once you know they're soliciting, tresspass 'em, and sic security/the police on them if they won't go away.

Also, unless they work directly for AT&T, I wouldn't even consider talking to them even if I was interested in their services.

2.5 years and counting since we signed a contract AT&T is still refusing to honor. My company has actually started discussing what it would take to actually file the lawsuit they've been threatening and has filed even more complaints with the FCC. There's yet another new rep for our account who, as usual, doesn't know the first thing about why we hate dealing with the company. We've had to keep copies of everything they send us so that when they change the person working on the ticket, we can send it to them because it seems like they don't keep any of their own records....

*blink*blink* ... uh, sorry for the 'jack... I'm a little passionate about my dislike of AT&T...

Oh, and an addendum to the whole thing on solicitors, I made it my company's policy (with the full blessing of the old boss) that any sales pitches be either mailed or faxed and if we were interested, we'd get back to them. We're the buyers, we have the control on who we talk to. Pushy or rude salespeople were a strike against their companies.

^-.-^

[bainsidhe]

Start responding to their questions by asking for their manager's contact info. When they ask why, tell them you want to start charging them your hourly rate for administrative assistance.

Or...
SC: Who is your manager?
OP: Manager? I have only minions. For they all do my bidding. Bwa ha haa

[RecoveringKinkoid]

That conversation went on way too long. Really, you only need two lines of it.

"Hi, I'm Thick Skulled Douchebag, and I'm with AT&T.

"Leave before I call security/police for creating a disturbance in my store."

See? Easy.

If it goes on beyond that, then you go on and involve security or the cops.

"But..."

"Hello, security? Have a disruptive trespasser here. Please come now."

That will work. Guaran damn teed.

Why do you think you need to answer their questions? I assure you you don't. Well, okay, I see that you aren't really answering them, but you ARE responding to them, and you don't have to do that, either. I assure you with confidence that yes, you can hang up on people when they are right in front of you.

[ReverendBSB]

This is not new, I used to run a SCUBA shop years ago and we had these jerks all the time. Very pushy. Last time I remember they came in it was two black guys and I made the verbal mistake of asking that "you people" (marketers, not black people) never come in again. Did not go over well, but I dont remember any of them coming in again (again, marketers, not black people.)

[Mnemjian]

Can't call them and tell them to stop soliciting in your store? Isn't there a law against it or something if they keep sending representatives against your will?

That's a good idea. I've been wondering if I could complain to somebody about it. It's become really distracting. I'll ask the owner about it for sure

[Mystic]

Can't call them and tell them to stop soliciting in your store? Isn't there a law against it or something if they keep sending representatives against your will?

[Mnemjian]

I thought to put this in Sightings because they are not customers by any means! Mods please move if necessary

And nothing against telemarketers, of course. It's a job right? The problem I've been having lately is that real live people from AT&T keep showing up at out storefront and try to pull the "Who may I talk to regarding your long distance service?" and "is the owner or manager available?" Being the MOD, I tell them (at first politely) that I am busy running a store and do I look like I am interested in long distance service? How often does a bookstore call long-distance anyway?

The real problem, though, is that they can be super pushy. One or two of them come by about once a week and try to sell service plans, always for AT&T. As soon as I hear "Hi my name is [blah] and I'm with AT&T" I tell them we're not interested. Most of them are reasonable human beings and just say "okay, thanks anyway" and take the hint but sometimes they won't leave until we're both getting pissed off. WHY? This conversation just ensued and it annoyed me so much! Grrrrrrr!

ATT: Annoying AT&T Lady
Me: Me ;p

Me: Hello! (thinking that they're a customer)
ATT: [AT&T spiel]
Me: Sorry, but we're not interested.
ATT: (Snottiness Factor: 1) Well who may I contact in the future regarding long distance service?
Me: (Snottiness Factor: 2) Well nobody cause we're not interested.
ATT: (Snottiness Factor: 5) Well, who is the manager here?
Me: (Snottiness Factor: 6.3) It doesn't matter because we're not interested.
ATT: (Snottiness Factor: 7.5) Well who handles your business decisions?
Me: (Snottiness Factor: 8.9 !danger!) Nobody you need to contact.
ATT: (Snottiness Factor: WARNING LEVEL) I just need the name of the owner or business manager.
Me: (Snottiness Factor: higher than it ever should be when I'm at work) Do we have an account with AT&T?
ATT: (Snottiness Factor: 7.7 - came down slightly) According to my RECORDS you do.
Me: (Snottiness Factor: still too high) Then why do you need that information if you already have it?
ATT: (Snottiness Factor: 7.7 - now maintaining a seemingly constant rate of snottiness) I can't access that information without customer approval.
Me: (Snottiness Factor: MAYDAY!!!!!!!!) Well we DON'T APPROVE. Goodbye.
ATT: (Snottiness Factor: waaay up there) Hmph. Well thanks ANYWAY.
Me:

Too bad you can't hang up on people when they're right in front of you (I guess that's why AT&T started doing this...)