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Trainwreck Trifecta (LONG with language)

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  • #16
    Quoth BookstoreEscapee View Post
    Hey! I like my pizza bland and humdr-- er, I mean, with just cheese...
    Bah, just cheese doesn't mean bland and humdrum! A good crust, a rich sauce, and quality cheese can still make a great pizza.

    Think of the crust as physical attraction, sauce as the emotional connection, and the cheese as the 'mood' of the moment. The rest of the toppings are just the equivalent of... well... not going there *ahem*, but I'm sure we can all think of our own perversions to fill in the blanks with.

    Basically, people cruising bars for a quick boink are having breadsticks, and those that are genuinely in lust with someone who isn't a long-term match for them get cheesy-bread.
    Last edited by JustADude; 08-07-2007, 09:01 AM.
    ...WHY DO YOU TEMPT WHAT LITTLE FAITH IN HUMANITY I HAVE!?! -- Kalga
    And I want a pony for Christmas but neither of us is getting what we want OK! What you are asking is impossible. -- Wicked Lexi

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    • #17
      ...... damn it i dont think i can eat pizza again.... and think youve added a few more years to my celibacy..... desturbing topic...

      Comment


      • #18
        Quoth Kusanagi View Post
        [IMG]And finally one last one

        Guy walks in, really shabbily dressed, but has a trophy wife. We chat for a while and he finds a set he likes. He tries to get me to haggle the price on him, and I tell him I can’t do it. I use a new technique I’ve learned when I come up against rich assholes.

        Me: Sir, I’ve already told you I can’t do it. But, I understand, sir. If you can’t afford this, then I have a few other things that might be more in your price range.
        SC: What?
        Me: Well, it’s a big set. I understand how money issues are at times, so let’s go over and I can suggest a few alternatives that you’re able to afford.

        At this point, the wife is covering her mouth, trying not to laugh at my very thinly veiled attack on his masculinity. He sees this, turns red, and goes “Fine, I’ll take it.”

        Good to be back

        I suspect there are some sales books out there that outline just this technique. Good sales is knowing your market, and knowing how their heads work. The only thing stronger than stinginess is ego!
        Check out my webcomic!

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        • #19
          Hey, BE, I've been a member of the Kusanagi Fan Girl Club from the first post of his that I read. It's rather different from the Gravekeeper Fan Girl Club, of which I am also a member. It tends to involve less snark, and more martial arts excitement. Although, sarcasm flows readily.

          Kus, are you a Leo, perchance?
          Labor boards have info on local laws for free
          HR believes the first person in the door
          Learn how to go over whackamole bosses' heads safely
          Document everything
          CS proves Dunning-Kruger effect

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          • #20
            Saggitarius, actually.

            I'm completely against the norm from my zodiacal brothers, it seems. Of course, I WAS born a month premature, but that still doesn't cover it.

            I have a shrine of Randall Graves that I say prayers to every morning before I go to work.

            Myself and GK should team up sometime. I could say all the things he wishes he could say to his customers and he could go off on my customers with a string of insults to make a sailor blush.
            "Time shall help me face my painful memories with indifference, and with more of it, I won't feel the need to face them at all..."

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            • #21
              Myself and GK should team up sometime. I could say all the things he wishes he could say to his customers and he could go off on my customers with a string of insults to make a sailor blush.
              Yep, I would totally pay to see that!

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              • #22
                Quoth MadRocketScientist View Post
                Yep, I would totally pay to see that!
                "Tooooooniiiiight...
                For your viewing pleassuuuuuuuure...
                Tag Teaming for the first time since their entry in the WWSC (World Wrestling Sucky Customers) Federation...

                KUSANAGIIIIIII AND GRAVEKEEPEEEEEEEEEEEER!!!!!"

                *theme music, lotsa spandex, sunglasses, high fives*

                *A cage drops in 20 unsuspecting SCs. They dun suspect a thing cuz they're busy arguing over a shirt.*

                "NOW LET'S GET READY TO RUMBLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"
                Now would be a good time to visit So Very Unofficial!

                "I've had so many nasty customers this week, my bottomless pit is now ankle-deep."-Me.

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                • #23
                  I'd dress like a Spartan from 300.

                  "This price on the shirt is insane! I want a discount!"

                  "...discount?

                  THIS...

                  IS...

                  CLEARANCE!!"


                  *kicks customer in the chest*
                  "Time shall help me face my painful memories with indifference, and with more of it, I won't feel the need to face them at all..."

                  Comment


                  • #24
                    Quoth Kusanagi View Post
                    I'd dress like a Spartan from 300.

                    "This price on the shirt is insane! I want a discount!"

                    "...discount?

                    THIS...

                    IS...

                    CLEARANCE!!"


                    *kicks customer in the chest*
                    I can totally see you do that.
                    Now would be a good time to visit So Very Unofficial!

                    "I've had so many nasty customers this week, my bottomless pit is now ankle-deep."-Me.

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                    • #25
                      Gravekeeper: countless fangirls.

                      Kusanagi: At least two by my count, probably more.

                      Me: Nary a fangirl to be had.

                      I must be losing my touch.



                      Hmmm...maybe it's the tights.......
                      Last edited by Jester; 08-10-2007, 02:23 PM.

                      "The Customer Is Always Right...But The Bartender Decides Who Is
                      Still A Customer."

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                      • #26
                        Quoth Jester View Post
                        Me: Nary a fangirl to be had.
                        I'm a Jester Fangirl! I'm just a quiet type.
                        The only words you said that I understood were "His", "Phone" and "Ya'll". The other 2 paragraphs worth was about as intelligible as a drunken Teletubby barkin' come on's at a Hooter's waitress.

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                        • #27
                          Quoth Banrion View Post
                          I'm a Jester Fangirl! I'm just a quiet type.
                          Me too. Well, I'm a fangirl for all three of ya . . .

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                          • #28
                            Jester, you have your fangirl actually there with you at the moment, which is alot more than the rest of us can say, ya bastard. ;-)
                            "Time shall help me face my painful memories with indifference, and with more of it, I won't feel the need to face them at all..."

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                            • #29
                              Quoth Kusanagi View Post
                              I'd dress like a Spartan from 300.
                              Pictures, please.
                              Labor boards have info on local laws for free
                              HR believes the first person in the door
                              Learn how to go over whackamole bosses' heads safely
                              Document everything
                              CS proves Dunning-Kruger effect

                              Comment


                              • #30
                                All I have is me dressed as Keisuke Urahara from Bleach with a bunch of fangirls molesting me.
                                "Time shall help me face my painful memories with indifference, and with more of it, I won't feel the need to face them at all..."

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