Dumbest question you have ever been asked

[autumn_soul]

This Christmas Eve just gone..

It had just turned 7:05pm. We were due to close at 7pm, but Christmas being Christmas we didn't close on time. Fair enough. Last minute idiots, etc.

We pulled the shutters down, when a customer came bounding over and shouted through the door..

SC: Are you closed?
Me: Yes, sorry.
SC: PLEASE!! YOU GOTTA OPEN!!! I need some perfume for my daughter!!
Me: I'm sorry, but we're closed. We can't open again now.
SC: PLEASE!!
Me: We can't open, I'm sorry. Our store in town (less than 10 mins walk away) is open til 8 tonight? Perhaps you could try there?
SC: Oh, it's okay, I'll go to (competing department store further down the mall)

FFS! Why didn't you just go there to begin with you dozy cow?!

[Pagan]

Well, lucky me-- they still show LOTSW every weekend on our local PBS channel. Bad news-- they never show it at the same time two weeks running. Evidently donations to our station are weak because it seems you have to slog through myriad local programming before you can see anything worth a damn. I love "History Detectives" but it seens it's being held hostage until a sufficient number of nasty letters make their way to the desk of some Mandarin son -of-a-b**ch before they'll run it. Public television, my eye.

To the twits in Charlotte: "Pogue mahone!"

We don't get local stuff, but it's none-the-less crap. Right now, they're only running "Keeping Up Appearances" and "As Time Goes By". While I like both of those, I can practically recite the shows along with them. We also get "Monarchy", "Mystery", and "Masterpiece Theatre", but only when they're not begging....which seems to be all the damn time.

Oh, and here: Pòg mo thòin (Scots Gaelic)

[Javarod]

Well, here's something for you to consider that could help out figuring out any percentage you're likely to see, since most percentages are a multiple of 5.

Consider this: As a human, you're probably quite good at figuring out two types of numbers in particular. 1/10 of something, and 1/2 of something. You are probably decent at adding numbers. But complex multiplication, division, and the like are issues.

15% of $36.23?
15%=10%+5%
5% = 50% of 10%
Result: 15% = 10% + (1/2 of 10%)

10% of $36.23 = $3.62
5% of 36.23 = 1/2 of 10% of $36.23 = 1/2 of $3.62 = $1.81
15% = $3.62 + $1.81 = $4.62 + $0.81 = $5.42 + $0.01 = $5.43

That looks and sound very complex, but it's not as bad as it looks. The fundamental trick is just to remember that 5% is 1/2 of 10%. And 10% is just moving the decimal point to the left by one place, and rounding the result.

That's what we were taught in school for basic problem solving, and not just in math, break things down into manageable pieces, it'll get you a fairly accurate answer.

[HALFHUMANHALFZOMBIE]

Some people prepare to ask dumb questions by asking if they are in a good mood.

"Can you play X-box360 games on an X-box?" Is probably one of the dumbest questions I've heard.

"Do you have a quantity button?" Question pisses me off in the sense of
#1. Why would I not use if I did know I had one
#2. Not every friggin till is required to use one

Our policy is that we can't handkey products because it affects inventory but you get the people who are too stupid to shop when they have time to do so. when I can't scan something And i have to tell them that I need to make a label at courtesy and I can't handkey it they still ask "Can you handkey it in?"

[Eaglet6519]

I work in a grocery store that has a pharmacy, as soon as you walk in the door there is a big sign that says pharmacy and an arrow that points to the left, everyday someone comes up to me when i'm standing right under the sign and asks "where is your pharmacy?" and I just think can you not read or are you just too lazy!

[Kyree]

IN a deli.

Customer walks up. She is standing right in front of the clear-glass display of meat that is a good 15-20 feet long, and asks, "Do you have any fresh lunch meat?"

Naughty me...I don't know why, I could have gotten in so much trouble, replied, ".....No."

Customer responds, "Oh." and walks away.

[raideo]

*called on the phone*
"There's a transmisson shop right next to your store right?"
"yes"
"What's the name of it"

[MrInsecure]

I think I have all of you beat (though not by much from the looks of it). I work at a movie theater concession stand. I get back from putting seed in the popcorn popper and a customer comes up to me and asks, with the popcorn popping in the background, "Do you guys sell popcorn here?"

I wish that this had only happened once with one person, but I get this at least once a weekend.

And that's why I think smallpox deserves a comeback.

[reaganchan]

I work at a Sonic and I happen to hear stupid questions...every single day.

But by far the worst question I've ever heard had to be this.

*the phone rings*

"Hello, thank you for calling Henryetta Sonic Drive-in, this is Reagan, how may I help you?"

"Hey! Is this the Checotah Sonic?!"

"No sir...this is the Henryetta Sonic."

"OH! Do you know the number to the Checotah one?"

[Darkforge]

I think the dumbest is "Do you work here?" while I was standing INSIDE the customer service desk, or BEHIND the register (both of which I have gotten).

I once had the pleasant experiance of being asked this question and being able to (Truthfully) answer:

"No, I don't work here, I'm just behind the counter serving this customer. If you wait a moment until I've finished this transaction then I can get an employee to help you"

- I guess I need to add a little more context. A friend of mine owns a gaming store where they sell tabletop roleplay books, miniatures and trading card games etc. I am qualified to judge some of the trading card tournaments and often have to go behind the counter to get to the computer to enter results and print off pairings etc. As the owner trusts me and I've had retail experience I often end up helping out behind the till if the employee in charge is busy (a delivery has arrived/toilet break etc)

So its not like I was a random customer who went behind the counter to serve a friend or anything but I still felt smug when I was able to say that.

[Emmeileia]

At the donut store I used to work at:

Do the peanut butter cookies contain any peanut products? I am allergic.

[Jbball]

Working at a movie theatre, at the concession stand for the night, someone asked:

"You guys have popcorn here?"

[TryNotToBeThatOne]

The correct response to this question is "No, I'm robbing the joint. But, until I get a bigger take I was going to help some customers."

I've heard of that actually happening.

[Enigma]

The dumbest questions I ever got asked would have to be these too, when I worked for Dish Network:

"So... how much is the 19.99 package?"

and

"How many channels are in the America's Top 60?"

[kitty doom!]

I work at 5Below. Guess why it's called that?

Because everything costs five dollars or less.

let us proceed with the stupid questions:

We sell a lot of Ipod accessories. A lot of cellphone accessories.

SC: Do you sell Ipods?
Me:...Only Apple stores can sell Ipods
SC: Why's that?
Me: 'Cause Ipods are Apple products.
SC: Do you sell any other MP3 players?
Me: No mam/sir, because those would cost us too much to make 5 dollars or less.
SC: That bites...

----

SC: *holds up ipod case box that is clearly marked Ipod case* Is this an Ipod or a Fake ipod?
Me: *points at IPOD CASE*
SC: Oh.

---

SC: *looking at DVD wall that is clearly labeled as "ALL DVDS ARE FIVE DOLLARS! WOW!"* How much are your DVDs?
Me: *points at sign*

---

SC: *looking at water cooler that has a bright neon green sign that's labeled ALL WATERS ARE TWO FOR A DOLLAR* How much are your waters?
Me: 2 for a dollar
SC: how much for one?

-----

SC: So why's this place called 5below?
Me:...Because everything is 5 dollars or less.
SC: No it's not!
Me:...yes it is.
SC: What about tax?
Me: .......Tax is state controlled, it isn't under my or HQ's control. If you really want to buy stuff that's straight up 5 dollars, Delaware isn't too far away.
SC: I was just joking
Me: okay

---

Note: you have to walk by a huge battery display with a ginormous duracell battery on top to get to the register, which is where I was.

SC: Where are your batteries?
Me: Right behind you.