Yesterday I was back on the phone answering the customer service line while covering for someone else. I got a couple of serious doozys... I swear they knew scented that I was back and attacked en masse!
Me: *waves*
CG: Crazy Guy
DCG: Different Crazy Guy!
SM: Stupid Man!
SW: Sucky Woman
(Thoughts)
The End Is Near!(With Bonus Crazy)
Me: Welcome to <My company> Customer Service. This is Wicked Lexi How can I help you?
CG: THE END IS COMING!!!! (Of high prices? Reality TV? WHAT MAN SPILL IT)
Me: Can I help you?
CG: You need to stock up! BAKED BEANS AND CHEESE.. gotta hide... GOTTA HIDE (Yes... just the essentials... )
Me: ... Sir? Are you alright? (Obviously not.. but hell)
CG: HIIIIIIDE THE END IS NIGH! (Nigh... Like.. Bill Nigh the Science guy...)
You are the Devil! (Again with Bonus Crazy!)
Me: Welcome to <My company> Customer Service. This is Wicked Lexi How can I help you?
DCG: YOUR THE DEVIL (... Wow Did I get sucked into the "water boy" and no one told me)
Me: Im.. wait WHAT?
DCG: LEAVE MAH CHILDRENS ALONE!
Me: Sure.. not a problem (Just go away man!)
Hang up... (With Stupid Included at no extra cost)
Me: Welcome to <My company> Customer Service. This is Wicked Lexi How can I help you?
SM: I need the phone number for <office>
Me: Yep sure. Its 00 1234 5678
SM: *starts dialing* (thinking that he is putting it in his phone)
Me: *waits*
SM: Hello?
Me: Yes Hi I'm still here
SM: ... Why are you still there im trying to call the office!
Me: You need to hang up and then call them sir.. or I can hang up...
SM: Hang up? (oh Dear oh Dear)
Me: Yes..
SM: How do I do that?(Your kidding right?)
Me: ... are you on a mobile or cordless phone?
SM: Nooooooooooo(goodie you stuck in one place at least)
Me: OK put the phone down in the cradle and then pick it back up an dial again (I wish so hard I was kidding)
SM: *hangs up* (Oh thank you baby Jesus!)
... I'm incredibly sorry that DEATH in an inconvenience to you
Me: Welcome to <My company> Customer Service. This is Wicked Lexi How can I help you?
SW: I need the number for <office>
Me: *looks up number in system and sees special note* Ok. That office isn't operating at the moment. All the business of that office is going through to <agents name> I can give you his number
SW: *angry tone* Why isn't it operating???
Me: They had a 4 Wheel drive go through the window last year and the office was extremely badly damaged and their receptionist was killed.
SW: So that was last year THEY SHOULD BE OPERATING AGAIN!
Me: *controls rage* I'm very sorry but they aren't.. Would you like the agents number?
SW: No I will go to <rival company> They don't let small things get in the way of business!
Me: *Snaps* Well I'm very sorry that the death of one of their staff in such an inconvenience to you. It is of course your choice to go to another company. Have a good day *Hangs up*
That one made my blood boil! Around the time the accident happened those calls were very common. It was all I could do not to tell people where to to shove sharp objects. I did hang up on a lot of people at the time though.
Me: *waves*
CG: Crazy Guy
DCG: Different Crazy Guy!
SM: Stupid Man!
SW: Sucky Woman
(Thoughts)
The End Is Near!(With Bonus Crazy)
Me: Welcome to <My company> Customer Service. This is Wicked Lexi How can I help you?
CG: THE END IS COMING!!!! (Of high prices? Reality TV? WHAT MAN SPILL IT)
Me: Can I help you?
CG: You need to stock up! BAKED BEANS AND CHEESE.. gotta hide... GOTTA HIDE (Yes... just the essentials... )
Me: ... Sir? Are you alright? (Obviously not.. but hell)
CG: HIIIIIIDE THE END IS NIGH! (Nigh... Like.. Bill Nigh the Science guy...)
You are the Devil! (Again with Bonus Crazy!)
Me: Welcome to <My company> Customer Service. This is Wicked Lexi How can I help you?
DCG: YOUR THE DEVIL (... Wow Did I get sucked into the "water boy" and no one told me)
Me: Im.. wait WHAT?
DCG: LEAVE MAH CHILDRENS ALONE!
Me: Sure.. not a problem (Just go away man!)
Hang up... (With Stupid Included at no extra cost)
Me: Welcome to <My company> Customer Service. This is Wicked Lexi How can I help you?
SM: I need the phone number for <office>
Me: Yep sure. Its 00 1234 5678
SM: *starts dialing* (thinking that he is putting it in his phone)
Me: *waits*
SM: Hello?
Me: Yes Hi I'm still here
SM: ... Why are you still there im trying to call the office!
Me: You need to hang up and then call them sir.. or I can hang up...
SM: Hang up? (oh Dear oh Dear)
Me: Yes..
SM: How do I do that?(Your kidding right?)
Me: ... are you on a mobile or cordless phone?
SM: Nooooooooooo(goodie you stuck in one place at least)
Me: OK put the phone down in the cradle and then pick it back up an dial again (I wish so hard I was kidding)
SM: *hangs up* (Oh thank you baby Jesus!)
... I'm incredibly sorry that DEATH in an inconvenience to you
Me: Welcome to <My company> Customer Service. This is Wicked Lexi How can I help you?
SW: I need the number for <office>
Me: *looks up number in system and sees special note* Ok. That office isn't operating at the moment. All the business of that office is going through to <agents name> I can give you his number
SW: *angry tone* Why isn't it operating???
Me: They had a 4 Wheel drive go through the window last year and the office was extremely badly damaged and their receptionist was killed.
SW: So that was last year THEY SHOULD BE OPERATING AGAIN!
Me: *controls rage* I'm very sorry but they aren't.. Would you like the agents number?
SW: No I will go to <rival company> They don't let small things get in the way of business!
Me: *Snaps* Well I'm very sorry that the death of one of their staff in such an inconvenience to you. It is of course your choice to go to another company. Have a good day *Hangs up*
That one made my blood boil! Around the time the accident happened those calls were very common. It was all I could do not to tell people where to to shove sharp objects. I did hang up on a lot of people at the time though.
Comment