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The times you said/did what you wanted to SCs

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  • #16
    When I worked as a telephone operator at a different hotel, I was one of many staff members there being fantastically brutalized by the HR department (about 95% of the employees despised the place, and for good reason). As a result, most of us did what we could to stomach the pretentious guests there, and most people don't realize that hotel operators are the worst people to piss off...if you are trying to call to get something done. In the 2 years I worked there, I developed some bad habits

    1. When someone was screaming at me, 99.9% of the time, it was because they were supposed to be screaming at another department. I usually went with one of three options: A) Ninja connect: cut them off in the middle of a sentence, then connect them immediately to a manager's line (usually a voice mail). Repeatedly. B) Ninja DISconnect...get my spiel halfway done, then cut off the call mid-sentence. Oops! C) The Loop of Doom. The idiots who ran the hotel had a loop line (basically a call parking area that forwards calls in a queue) that stopped working promptly at 5pm every night, and would hold calls until 8am if someone tried long enough. I've had people wait for 2 hours on that loop before

    2. Saying the wrong thing. You'd be surprised how many people don't listen to you...did I just say "Have a pleasant day" or "Half the peasants are gay"?

    3. Phone Tag. When people were being quality dickheads to us, the traditional disposal method was to randomly pick extensions of departments we knew were empty and send them there. This had bonus points, since the departments would be very confused the next morning when they heard the voice mail, and most of them would get a chuckle out of it.

    The only ones I took pity on were the multiple disconnects...the phone system sucked there, and the hotel was too cheap to spend the money to replace it. At its worst point, this meant that around 70% of the calls we connected either got dropped immediately, or hovered in some invisible limbo as they got lost in the system. This caused people to get upset, and I honestly apologized to them...in fact, I usually flat out told them that the hotel didn't replace the phone system, hoping the complaints would get it done.

    From what I hear, the system has degraded further, and most of the calls they connect there never make it through. Sad, but true.
    "That's too bad. Hospitals aren't fun to fight through."
    "What IS fun to fight through?"
    "Gardens. Electronics shops. Antique stores, but only if they're classy."

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    • #17
      Quoth KhirasHY View Post

      2. Saying the wrong thing. You'd be surprised how many people don't listen to you...did I just say "Have a pleasant day" or "Half the peasants are gay"?
      .
      I SOOO need to try that one

      though it is kinda fun to replace "now" with "meow"

      at the call center we had a contest on who could fit the most random words in one call... it was fun.
      If you wish to find meaning, listen to the music not the song

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      • #18
        Quoth smileyeagle1021 View Post
        I SOOO need to try that one

        though it is kinda fun to replace "now" with "meow"

        at the call center we had a contest on who could fit the most random words in one call... it was fun.
        OH I forgot those! We would do random words, but we also had random noises we would do too...things like making a quiet "pop" with our lips over and over during a call.

        We also would shoot one another with rubber bands, and say things like "devil penis" to get the other person to screw up on a call...that was actually what made the job so bearable (that, and my bosses let me play games on my laptop at work...it was a 1% brain usage job )
        "That's too bad. Hospitals aren't fun to fight through."
        "What IS fun to fight through?"
        "Gardens. Electronics shops. Antique stores, but only if they're classy."

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        • #19
          Most recent time I remember getting away with something like that was when we ran out of filter sand at my store. My boss/manager K and I were building patio furniture when this lady demands to know why we don't have any and she needs 3 bags of the stuff.. We tell her we've been sold out for about a week and hopefully will get some Thursday.

          She stands there. K asks her if there's something else we can help her with.

          She screams again for the sand, then pints at me and says "Why aren't you getting it for me? Why don't you have any?"

          I muttered "I can't shit that much sand in one sitting, wait till Thursday."

          K ran into the break room snickering, and two minutes later I hear this loud high-pitched laughter. Lady demands to see the manager, and I tell her "Sure, when he's finished with his giggle-fit."

          That comment earned me an iced coffee that afternoon. Yummy.

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          • #20
            Quoth KhirasHY View Post
            OH I forgot those! We would do random words, but we also had random noises we would do too...things like making a quiet "pop" with our lips over and over during a call.

            We also would shoot one another with rubber bands, and say things like "devil penis" to get the other person to screw up on a call...that was actually what made the job so bearable (that, and my bosses let me play games on my laptop at work...it was a 1% brain usage job )
            you'd like my favorite competition at the call center... there were four people per cubicle and sometimes at the beginning of the day we'd open up the the first page of the paper and each of us would take turns closing our eyes and just pointing to random words... the first person to use all 4 randomly selected words in one call that day won.
            If you wish to find meaning, listen to the music not the song

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            • #21
              This one isn't technically about ME doing/saying what I wanted to an SC, but my AM (Awesome Manager) did.

              When I worked at Petco, I was also fostering kittens, which I then brought in to Petco to be adopted out through the rescue I worked with. One of my foster kittens, Pistol, received an adoption application from a family of three. They seemed fairly nice, but wanted to take her home unspayed and then submit proof of spaying her to the rescue within a couple of weeks; they just couldn't wait until her appointment the next week to take her home, their son would love her, birthday, blah, blah, blah.

              So they called while I was on register, I answered the phone.

              SC: "Hi, there, I just wanted to let someone know we're on our way to get Pistol."
              Me: (thinking, they're not approved yet, Foster Coordinator hasn't said yes to the spaying thing!) "Oh?"
              SC: "Yes, we spoke to AM earlier and she said she'd talked to FC and we could take Pistol right away."
              Me: "I'll let AM know to expect you."

              I go into the manager's office and find AM.

              Me: "Did FC approve those people taking Pistol home before she's spayed?"
              AM: "What? No!"
              Me: "They said you told them they could take her and that FC said it was fine."
              AM: "Let's call her."

              We call FC on speakerphone.

              Me: "SC said you approved her application already and that AM told her that, but AM said she hasn't talked to FC."
              FC: "No, I never said anything like that! I WAS still thinking about it, but my mind's made up now-- they lied to you, so they're not approved to adopt. I'll call them."
              AM: "No, I'll call them. I have a thing or two to say about dropping my name in a lie!"

              So, AM calls SC on speakerphone while I listen trying not to laugh.

              SC: "Hello?"
              AM: "Hi, this is AM."
              SC: "Oh, hi there!"
              AM: "I'm calling to let you know your application to adopt Pistol was denied."
              SC: "WHAT?!"
              AM: "You called my employee and lied to her, saying I had told you to come and get Pistol when I hadn't, and FC and I agree that because you lied about the adoption, we are not comfortable adopting to you."
              SC: "Your employee is LYING! I never called her. I've just been waiting to hear from FC all morning, with the cat carrier waiting in the car!"
              AM: "The employee with whom you spoke on the phone has never lied to me before. I know her, and I don't know you. Sorry, but I believe her."
              SC: "FIRE HER! She is LYING! She just thinks we are an UNFIT HOME!"
              AM: "Nobody said anything about being an unfit home. FC and I are not comfortable adopting to you because you lied to my employee. That's all."
              SC: "I will call your manager and have YOU fired, then, and I will SUE the rescue for emotional damages! My son's birthday is this weekend and we PROMISED him that he would get that kitten! He is IN TEARS listening to this!"
              AM: "I am the manager on duty. Would you like to call the General Manager in the morning?"
              SC: "Give me her phone number! I will call her NOW and tell her that if she does not fire both you and cashier who lied to you, I will sue Petco, too! I am emotionally damaged because you told me I am an UNFIT OWNER for a kitten! I'm a mother! I have children! How could I raise children if I'm not good enough to raise a KITTEN?!"
              AM: "She'll be available at this number at nine in the morning. You may call her then. Her name is (GM). Until then, I suggest that you start calling lawyers and wish you the best of luck finding an attorney willing to sue a national chain for 'emotional damages' due to your being caught in a lie."

              *CLICK*
              My basic dog food advice - send a pm if you need more.

              Saydrah's leaving the nest advice + packing list live here.

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              • #22
                Quoth otakuneko View Post

                [...]

                Looking back on it I tend to think, Geeze, why did I do that? I didn't have to. I could've just let her wait for someone else to come home, and been done with the call. Maybe there were calls in queue, and I sometimes would deliberately stretch out a call. The next one could be worse after all.
                You know what? I actually think that was very nice of you. The lady obviously didn't have any confidence with herself until you gave her a little boost.

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                • #23
                  Oh I had one on Tuedsay night that was a real brain to mouth filter one... lady calls in and asks the rate... I tell her, and the first thing she says is "well how is a working girl like me supposed to afford that" and before I could stop myself I said "maybe you could charge the guy more"
                  then there was an awkward silence before she hung up.
                  If you wish to find meaning, listen to the music not the song

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                  • #24
                    I actually told a SC I was sorry that I didn't bring my magic wand to work with me that day!
                    I still smile about that one.

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                    • #25
                      Whoops...this one slipped yesterday.

                      SC: *after being told repeatedly we don't sell replacement parts for motor boats (wtf)* What is your name?! I will report you and have your job!
                      Me: You want my job? Better idea. let's trade. You can have my $8/hour hellhole, and I'll take your $90,000 a year and your DeLorean. Because to be honest, I'm tired of dealing with self-important pricks like yourself.
                      SC:...........................Um.........I'm sorry?
                      Me: *sighs* Me too...me too. Been a long day. Here, try <boat shop 20 mins. away> in the morning, they're closed by now.

                      I swear, I don't think I've EVER exploded quite like that before. Helped myself to several shots of Black Label when I got home. The guy really almost didn't deserve that, even if he was being a bit off the wall about boat motor parts.

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                      • #26
                        I have a few if I can remember them all.

                        I worked as a Workers Comp adjuster - first lvl. Means I handled the claims for medical payments only.
                        If the person missed work or was represented by a lawyer they went to a different Work Comp dept.
                        Each claim you have to call alot of people to get the pieces together before approving the WC.
                        There were a few times when the employee that was injured would call a lawyer before even seeing a Dr. So at least once a month I would get a claim, call the employee, they would say I got for a lawyer for this.
                        Then I would respond
                        "OK, I will have to transfer your claim to a different dept as I cant legally speak to you about this issue, only your lawyer."
                        Then they would pour it on, "no no I just want my bills paid"
                        Me-"sorry cant talk to you about it"
                        EE-"but what about my bills, paid time off, etc"
                        me- "Sorry cant talk to you about it, bye bye"
                        -transfer


                        Once at a call center for Microsoft we were told at the end of the call to always ask, paraphrasing "Were you happy about the customer service you received?
                        So one tech spent about 2 hours with a SC trying to get his trashed computer to work again. In the end the tech got it all worked out even though the guy was an ass the whole time.
                        So at the end he asked the dumb question and the SC said, paraphrasing "No you took way to long, your company blah blah, you were rude, etc"
                        The tech said one more thing we need to do, he then stepped the guy thru an /fdisk
                        Once done the SC freaked and the tech said, "bet your really not happy now" and hung up. Before he could be fired for it, he went to the manager and quit.

                        Now personal favorite.
                        At the same call center I did support for Microsoft Word. People would always call in asking how to do things that couldn't be done in Word. After 1 1/2 yrs of this I snapped on this SC that was being extremely rude, swearing, telling me "but I want it to do this, you have to make it do it"

                        me- ok sir, click on Tools/Options. Now do you see the option button for "Make Word Do What I Want It To Do?"
                        SC - no
                        me- Then I guess its not an option. bye bye
                        Miyon

                        Seduce, Let Loose, The Vision and The Void - Coil

                        All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain - Blade Runner

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                        • #27
                          This goes back to my post from Yesterday- we had a solicitor call in and get through to the SVP of the company.

                          When I told him I was sorry for letting her through, he IMed back, "It's ok, I'm giving her a bit of a hard time." Sweet!
                          You don't know what Hades is until you've worked at least one Christmas Season in a toy store that offers free gift wrapping.

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                          • #28
                            Long ago while working for the hell that was Bingo-**** tech support, I got a belligerent SC caller. He was mad because his service was out, we sent out a tech at his expense, problem wasn't fixed.

                            I looked at the notes. SC copped an attitude with the last tech, flatly refused to do any troubleshooting by phone. Oh joy.

                            I stomached his diatribes, then started the actual troubleshooting. Call got off the rails briefly when he complained about our field techs, why did we sent people who didn't speak english. Exasperated, I snapped "If we could get back to your issue at hand..."

                            I should have snapped harder. The call went about as smoothly as a mule on stilts. Finally I asked him if he could kindly not use his tone with me.

                            SC: "I'll use any tone I feel like it. If you have a problem with that, get me a manager."

                            Me: "You won't find anyone in this building willing to speak with you when you're swearing!"

                            That was actually a slight gaffe. "Goddamnit" is pretty tame as swears go, but his asinine attitude was disruptive, so it fit.

                            In the end, I fixed his issue mostly. We encountered another minor problem, while I was conference calling about it, he hung up. You're welcome jackass.

                            I take grim comfort knowing that the SC's own attitude resulted in him being out $75, and without service for 2 weeks
                            Happiness is the exercise of vital powers along lines of excellence in a life affording you scope.

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                            • #29
                              As the official computer lab babysitter, I deal with a lot of crap. If I'm not getting hit on by drunks, the teenagers are driving me up the wall. Honestly, I don't understand why you have to both be looking at the same MySpace page. That's why the good Lord invented e-mail.

                              Anywho, one day, these kids were really getting on my last nerve. Up running around, switching computers, and generally disrupting my lab. So I got up, pulled out my Mean Big Sister Voice (only a shadow of my mom's If-You-Continue-With-This-Behavior-You're-Dead Voice, but I'm working on it) and said, "You need to sit down and hush. I'm not telling you again." It worked. Didn't hear a peep out of the little hooligans the rest of the time they were there.
                              I am no longer of capable of the emotion you humans call “compassion”. Though I can feign it in exchange for an hourly wage. (Gravekeeper)

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                              • #30
                                [QUOTE=
                                SC: Was that supposed to be funny?
                                Me: Kind of. Would you like to go on the cancellation list?[/QUOTE]

                                It WAS funny!
                                "What did you have for breakfast this morning? Carnation Instant Bitch?"
                                -Eric Foreman That 70's Show

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