Wherein I derive amusement from sorrow

[karma_gypsy]

Best one so far:

snoochiboochi
Male
18 years old
Iqaluit, Nunavut
Canada

Watch out ladies! hez a playaa.

Oh, he's a badaaasssss ..... What's the bet he's one of the guys calling GK up at all hours whining about how his car is locked in the parkade, then wanting a taxi all the while trying to order a pair of pants. Don't forget the pimp juice. I should e-mail him and ask if he likes pimp juice ....

[BookstoreEscapee]

When the time comes, may I tag along? :batting eyelashes: I'll hold all the corn stabbers for you.

I'm picturing GK and his band of Merry Fangirls running around Canada with little quivers filled with corn holders.

Get some of these and bite them while you're at it.

Best one so far:

snoochiboochi
Male
18 years old
Iqaluit, Nunavut
Canada

Watch out ladies! hez a playaa.

Wow, I can't believe he's single...

If I had a myspace I'd befriend him...only cuz I find it kinda sad that he only has 6.


/damn, page 4! That's what I get for going out on a Sunday.

[Igorina]

You know, I have a list that I’m saving for after I retire. It’s a list of people whom I intend to meticulously hunt down, one by one, by whatever means possible, and stab in the left ass cheek with one of those little yellow pokey things you stick in the end of corn on the cob so you can hold it, then twist it and yell “TUT TUT TALLYHO”. Then I will stab them in the right ass cheek and run off into the night squealing "FUCK YA! DOUBLE WORD SCORE!". Because I assume by the time I retire all of that will make perfect sense to me.

You have just made this list.

My question for you is this; were you planing on dipping the corn jolder prongs in anything before perforating the backsides of those who've made your list?

Not saying you have to do that, just thought it might provide more amusement for you and your roving band of Fangirls.

[XCashier]

My question for you is this; were you planing on dipping the corn jolder prongs in anything before perforating the backsides of those who've made your list?

Not saying you have to do that, just thought it might provide more amusement for you and your roving band of Fangirls.

Maybe one of the Fangirls could carry a jar of jalapeño juice just for that very purpose...!

[Kali]

I don’t think that word means what you think it means.

INCONCEIVABLE!

[Gravekeeper]

My question for you is this; were you planing on dipping the corn jolder prongs in anything before perforating the backsides of those who've made your list?

I'd really only planned to give them a good twist ;p

That MySpace page is sad. Very sad. Weep for humanity sad. I don't think Nunavut has posses. Dog sled team's maybe.

[Buglady]

SC: “The fridge is like off or something. I think its broken. I’m a woman, so I don’t know about these things.”

That’s…er…hmm. Wow. There’s so many things wrong with that statement but it’s kind of hard to figure out a way to point them out. Are you actually allowed to be sexist towards your own gender? Don’t they revoke your membership card or something if you do that? At the very least you must lose TV privileges for a while.

I think we (that is, the rest of the female population, those of us who actually manage to be competent adult human beings) get to slap her. Repeatedly. What. An. Idiot.

(I'm the fix-it person in this house. I also repair bikes in my spare time. And somehow my female parts have NOT shrivelled...)

[Chromatix]

You do know the real reason why women used to faint when anything remotely exciting happened?

Their corsets were done up so tightly that they literally couldn't breathe properly.

[Kara]

Don’t worry, I’m not that good with it either to be honest. They keep taking the U’s out of everything on me.

Thanks to discovering C.S. Lewis at an early age, I was always getting bitched at in grade school for writing words with the lost "u." Like "colour." It never stopped me though, since it just looks more natural to me anyway. The sad thing is that spellcheck software tells me those spellings are wrong.

A single press of a button was all that stood between him and salvation.

You know what's really pathetic? Crap like that is why I had to start out every Troubleshooting call with "Okay, is the power on?" Actually, that was soon bumped to question #3 when I learned that the more critical questions were "Do you have the phone with you right now?" and "Are you calling on a different line?"

Yes, that’s right. You’re standing on a table, on the “verge of a nervous breakdown” because your unit is “overrun with mice” and what do me and the maintenance guy do? Laugh at your misfortune. Because, well, it is kind of funny and we are cold, cold hearted men.

It's more than kind of funny. It's freaking hilarious. It's also karmic justice. Why the hell didn't she call when she saw the fist one instead of waiting until she was besieged on a table?

Heh, besieged. I gave myself a mental image of little mice building trebuchets and flinging pebbles at her.

[Samaliel]

Thanks to discovering C.S. Lewis at an early age, I was always getting bitched at in grade school for writing words with the lost "u." Like "colour." It never stopped me though, since it just looks more natural to me anyway. The sad thing is that spellcheck software tells me those spellings are wrong.

You just have to set your locale / spell checker settings to "English (UK)" rather than "English (USA)", and it should not bother you any more. Or, if your software allows this, add the words to the dictionary.

[Howler]

...and stab in the left ass cheek with one of those little yellow pokey things you stick in the end of corn on the cob so you can hold it, then twist it and yell “TUT TUT TALLYHO”. Then I will stab them in the right ass cheek and run off into the night squealing "FUCK YA! DOUBLE WORD SCORE!".
...

You, sir, owe me a new, non-waterlogged keyboard.

/I am so gonna steal "TUT TUT TALLYHO"
//I can follow along and take pictures (ok, mostly of the fangirls, but hey) to record
the poking




----------------
Now playing: Tears for Fears - Brian Wilson Said
via FoxyTunes

[Moggie]

Your ass. Corn on the cob. Stab. Twist. TALLYHO.

I have only one true fear about this. Somebody somewhere is going to like it. Alot.

[Soria]

The mental images... KaySquirrel's reminded me of a comic I read today.


http://www.brokenplotdevice.com/2008...tomer-service/

[Jester]

What's the bet he's one of the guys calling GK up at all hours whining about how his car is locked in the parkade, then wanting a taxi all the while trying to order a pair of pants.

I kind of doubt it. I mean, does Nunavut even have parkades and taxis?!?!?!?

Maybe one of the Fangirls could carry a jar of jalapeño juice just for that very purpose...

No. Habanero juice. If THAT doesn't get their attention immediately, they are dead or have dead nerve endings.

That MySpace page is sad. Very sad. Weep for humanity sad.

The truly sad part is that it's not that sad, comparatively speaking. I mean, have you seen some of the teenage MySpace pages? His is, I hate to say, fairly typical.

You do know the real reason why women used to faint when anything remotely exciting happened?

Their corsets were done up so tightly that they literally couldn't breathe properly.

While I have no doubt that this did happen to some women, I tend to think that many others just used that idea as an excuse to be a drama queen.

[Evil Queen]

Wha?
<snipped for space>
Are you actually allowed to be sexist towards your own gender? Don’t they revoke your membership card or something if you do that? At the very least you must lose TV privileges for a while.

Yes. We revoke her membership card. She is now a thing and isn't allowed anything to watch except day-time television in Spanish.

I think I'll make it badly translated in neon green text at the bottom of the screen. Yes.

Me Niether, Really.

SC: “I’m not that good with English or American so you’ll have to speak slower.”

Don’t worry, I’m not that good with it either to be honest. They keep taking the U’s out of everything on me.

I've said it once, I'll say it again:

I spell certain words with a "u". It's not my fault American's can't spell!