Spontaneous Gender Reassignment (SGR)

[Jester]

It's starting to feel a little Fratching in here, so leave poor Darwin in his grave. The guy's earned his sleep.

Sorry. Hope no one thought I was trying to start an actual debate about evolution. I wasn't. Was merely commenting on the state of the human race, and how screwy we are as a people. All of us here at CS.com know this from firsthand experience with the SCs out there.

Hope no one thought I was really insulting the man or his work, or trying to start said debate. I wasn't. Was just being my usual tom fool self.

So now, EVERYBODY DRINK!

[Gravekeeper]

So now, EVERYBODY DRINK!

I don't drink, amazingly.

So I shall have a cupcake, as there are many at the office. A client gifted us with a flat worth.

[pile of monkeys]

Weighing in on the coffee debate- I'm in New England. Within a five mile radius, there are NINE Dunkin Donuts, four Tim Horton's, and one Starbucks. The Tim Horton's used to be Bess Eaton, but they got bought out (BE had great iced coffee, but I was annoyed that they had New Testament quotes on their coffee cups. For real.)

I love coffee. Love it. Grind my own beans, use a French press at home, can taste the difference in roasts, etc. People in my state worship Dunkin Donuts. I'd say three out of five people out and about at any given time have a Dunkin cup in their hands. DD is awful. It is crap flavored water, hot, warm-ish, or iced. Also, their advertising campaigns piss me off something awful.

Like their recent "Fritalian" commercial. A bunch of average Joes can't sound out the words on other coffee places' menus. They want to be able to order their plain coffee in plain English. Fine, revel in your stubbornness to never say a word from another language, even if it's been in common usage in the US for over a decade. (Seriously, people can't pronounce "grande?" And trust me, even if you say "medium" at Starbucks, they'll ring it in as a grande, show you the size of the cup, and ask if that's OK. And despite what DD wants you to think, I've never been assaulted by a barista or denied my caffeine because I slipped and said "small" instead of "tall")

But then the commercial goes on to tell you that you can order your "latte" in plain English. By your own definition, DD, "latte" is Fritalian. You shouldn't even serve them. But you got threatened by Starbucks' market share, wanted a competitive drink that wasn't your crappy drip coffee, and added lattes to your menu last year, thereby giving up the right to make fun of coffee places that offer drinks that are "fancy" or named in another language.

I know this is an awful lot of venom about one 30-second spot, but DD is so fixated on their "we're normal coffee for normal people" schtick that no one involved in the making of this commercial caught the glaring logical error in their "rebel against the Seattle coffee empire machine." And that's just another reason that Dunkin Donuts sucks. That and their coffee.

Tim Horton's (American division) has drinkable hot coffee. Like, if I am absolutely desperate for caffeine, I'll go there without too much bitching. I like their iced coffee for the beach in the summer because they used crushed ice.

Starbucks is fine. It's also drinkable. And it doesn't cost five dollars unless you buy an espresso or blended drink. In fact, comparable sizes of drip coffee from Starbucks and DD cost within four cents of each other. I don't really buy the "over-roasted beans" argument, since Dunkin Donuts tastes like the beans were scorched, then crushed with a hammer.

I think it's partly the pervasiveness of DD, and the fact that people act like I kick puppies or smash rainbows when I say I don't like DD coffee, that makes me so against them as a company.

[Jester]

I don't drink, amazingly.

Ah, my friend, that is not true. You don't drink ALCOHOL. Surely you drink some form of liquid refreshment from time to time. Soda. Tea. Gatorade. Juice. Even water. That is, after all, a drink.

So while I lift my glass of cold frosty barley water high in the air, join me in the spirit of things, if not with actual spirits. Raise your hydrogen oxide martini, and rejoice!

And trust me, even if you say "medium" at Starbucks, they'll ring it in as a grande, show you the size of the cup, and ask if that's OK. And despite what DD wants you to think, I've never been assaulted by a barista or denied my caffeine because I slipped and said "small" instead of "tall"

Actually, there have been stories, even on this site, of Starbuck's baristas arguing with customers and insisting that they order in Starbuck's lingo rather than, say, ordering a medium. Stupid? Sure. But apparently it's happened at some of the more anal Starbuck's.

I agree with you, though, that it is kind of screwy that a place says you can order a "latte" in simple English. Because, well, no you can't. You can order a "coffee with milk" in English, but once you say "latte," the whole argument goes sailing out the window and into the street to shatter on the side of a passing 18 wheeler.

[Dasota]

*ahem* As a coffee slave for Tim Horton's I can say that the reason why our coffee is so crack-a-licious for those caffine freaks at our store is because it's 85% heavy cream. You can't buy that here in America. I myself am not a huge fan of our coffee. I'm more of a Mocha-Latte person. I like espresso mixed with tons of other additives to hide the taste. Tim Horton's is a monster out here, with Dunkin Donuts slowly creeping it's way into the area.

Also.... be warned you people that live in Tim Horton's areas, roll up the rim to win is on the way. *cries*

[Broomjockey]

Was merely commenting on the state of the human race, and how screwy we are as a people.

Yeah, that would be the Fratching area.

[Buglady]

Whee! Roll up the rim! Sorry, I know it must suck for you guys, but I had a streak there once where I won about 6 coffees in a row (I am easily pleased ).

And I was very careful to keep my little winning tab thing nice and clean, not chewed on, which is probably the worst part...

Random side note: I just learned in my Psychopharmacology test that people can get cross sensitization between caffeine, amphetamines, and sugar; this means that once you have taken one of them, it will take less of either of the others to get a given effect - whether or not the first one is still in your system! (Well, that sugar one was a rat study but I would lay money on it). So anyway, now that I am taking Dexedrine for my ADD, I'm a REALLY cheap coffee drunk... Omigod WEEEE! to quote a certain squirrel...

Luckily for the world, Tim Hortons does have decaf...

[AriRashkae]

I have many reasons for going back to Canadalandialand in a couple of weeks, and Timmy's hot chocolate is one of them. Internal baptism.

Rapscallion

I just checked. The closest Tim's about 20 miles from my Springfield home, which is about another hour drive from where I spend most of my week.

Maybe if I ever go visit my brother in Boston...

[Pagan]

revel in your stubbornness to never say a word from another language, even if it's been in common usage in the US for over a decade. (Seriously, people can't pronounce "grande?"

Depends on what part of the country you're in. "Grande" has been in usage here for a few hundred years and is part of the name of the 4th longest river in the US. Ought to try to get them to roll the r's!

[froglet]

Ok. That does it!

There is a Timmys in southern Ohio that's about 30 miles north of me. Are you TH worshipers tellin' me it's worth the trip?

I'll definitely do it next payday, if ya'll say it's worth it. I LOVE coffee and am feeling the need to try this 'liquid crack' you're so lovingly referring to.

Alternatively, I LOVE Dunkin's coffee. Their dark roast is awesome.

As was mentioned: We canadians cannot be held responsible for the american version of the chain.

Holy shit, I actually HEARD this when I read it. :\

I mean, did anybody even THINK about that??

One dark night, I was the only person awake, had headphones on and was playing a web-based game.
All of a sudden I hear 'Hellooooo!!!!' and damn near freaked out. Stupid emoticon ad!

Or us true freaks will mix the two. Half coffee and half HC.

Timmies has a cafe mocha they cover with whipped cream and either chocolate shavings or drizzle with chocolate syrup
I order those once in a while with decaf instead of regular

[jerkface11]

I'd have nothing against ordering a Grande anything as long as it was a LARGE!!!!! What do they call the medium coffees at Starbucks in spanish speaking countries? I'll stick with my local coffee chain that just has small, medium, and large. Unless we for some reason get a Tim Hortons.

[Chromatix]

Technically, a "latte" is actually espresso with lots of hot milk added. Not the same thing as "coffee with milk", though I have no idea why it's supposed to be "better".

My dad used to make his coffee with one-third milk, two-thirds water, all heated together in a saucepan. Now if someone can figure out how to make that kind of coffee with grounds rather than instant, they'd have a genuine winner.

[Broomjockey]

Easy, you need an old-style coffee percolator. With that, there' should be a plunger to push down to sift out the grounds after it's boiled. I'll be nice. 1/3rd of the profits is all I want. thanks.

[Munkie]

Timmies has a cafe mocha they cover with whipped cream and either chocolate shavings or drizzle with chocolate syrup
I order those once in a while with decaf instead of regular

its not whipped cream. its whipped topping. there is no dairy in this topping a'tall! its oil, chemicals and air. And it comes frozen. Ever wonder why it tastes thick and pasty? cause it ain't real. *shudder*

[AriRashkae]

its not whipped cream. its whipped topping. there is no dairy in this topping a'tall! its oil, chemicals and air. And it comes frozen. Ever wonder why it tastes thick and pasty? cause it ain't real. *shudder*

At the movie theater, we had real whipped cream. Actually, it was more like an aerosol. You had to fill a spray container (looked a lot like a steel Redi-Whip can) with heavy cream and add a CO2 cartridge.

Oddly enough, management only let a few people handle that particular duty.