Crazedclerk presents "Real SCs of Genius"

[Mnemjian]

Hilarious! I don't like Bud so much but I love those commercials. They crack me up Great posts.

[tropicsgoddess]

Ah,I love this so much. I so have to see more "SCs of Genius". Am I complete dork for actually being able to "hear" these being sung?

Nope, you're not the only one!

[Thud-n-Blunder]

... Am I complete dork for actually being able to "hear" these being sung?

If so, then you're in good company!

[MrPibbsRevenge]

I actually tried belting out a couple of these to my co-worker today. Sadly I lack musical skills.

[NateTheChops]

...real SCs of genius...

Today, I salute you, Mr. Fake-Homeland-Security-Agent.

Mr Fake-Homeland-Security Agent!

You don't have an ID for cigarettes so you think dropping an important job title will get you what you want.

Don't you believe me? Don't you believe me!

And even though your dressed like the unibomer you still insist that I should sell you your cigarettes because you make our country safer.

I'm oooooon the frontlines.

I agree Mr. Fake-Homeland-Security Agent. You wouldn't be allowed on a plane much less given the power to decide who gets on one. And because of that the country is a safer place.

Mr. Fake-Homeland-Security-Agent...

[Thud-n-Blunder]

Mr. Creepy-Yet-Hopeful-Pickup-Artist

Real SC's of genius...

We present Mr. Creepy-Yet-Hopeful-Pickup-Artist!

...Mr. Creepy-Yet-Hopeful-Pickup-Artist...

When a cute young (well, at least 20 years younger than you) cashier asks for your ID for an alcohol or tobacco purchase, you find your inhibitions lowering, along with your IQ.

... I'll show you mine if you'll show me yours (ha, ha!)...

You somehow manage to misgauge both the desperation level of your target, and your own attractiveness level, while managing to seem not even close to cool.

... Does this Gold Card impress you?...

So here's to you, Mr. Creepy-Yet-Hopeful-Pickup-Artist. If it weren't for people like you for comparison, eligible gentlemen would have a harder time getting anywhere with the opposite sex.

...Mr. Creepy-Yet-Hopeful-Pickup-Artist!

[Jester]

...real SCs of Genius....

Today, I salute you, Mr. I Don't Have an ID!

...Mr. I Don't Have an ID...

You come to a bar, knowing full well that you look young and that we have to card you to serve you, and yet you persist in trying to order a drink without any valid ID saying you are of age.

...Trust me, I'm 22...

While we admire your audacity, you have to know you have no chance of getting a drink.

...You're gonna die of thirst...

And yet you insist on going through with this silly charade, coming up with various made up reasons you think we should violate the law and serve you anyway.

...All the bartenders here know me...

And no matter how many times we repeat that we can't serve you without seeing a valid ID, you continue to try to bullshit us into serving you that precious strawberry daiquiri.

...Get more creative with your drinks...

So yes, we salute you, Mr. I Don't Have an ID. It is your brazen attempts to defy the law and drag us down with you that makes our day that much more annoying, aggravating, and irritating. You are, sir, a worthless adversary.

...Mr. I Don't Have an ID...

[derangedperson]

derangedperson presents...Real SCs of Genius.

Real SCs of Genius...

Today we salute you, Miss How Dare You Yell At My Kid.

Miss How Dare You Yell At My Kid!

Always turning a blind eye to your child's misdeeds, anyone who dares question your precious little angel's behavior is first in line for a tongue-lashing.

Who do you think you are?

You tell them how well-behaved and perfect your kid is, even as he's knocking over display cases, climbing on the shelves, and running into other customers.

Ignorance is BLIIIIIISS!

But what you fail to realize is that not only is your kid NOT a perfect precious little angel, but your failure to curb his behavior has exposed you as the negligent parent you are.

Open your eyes!

So crack open an ice-cold glass of Shut The Fuck Up, Mother of the Monster, because if you won't punish your kid, someone else will.

Miss How Dare You Yell At My Kid...

Straight from the mind of derangedperson, West Bend, WI.

[Thud-n-Blunder]

...Today we salute you, Miss How Dare You Yell At My Kid....

Brilliant! And dead on target!

[CrazedClerkthe2nd]

...real SCs of genius...

Today, we salute you, Mr. Wants a deal due to the economy.

....Mr. Wants a deal due to the economy...

You completely overestimate your own power and decide that because companies are struggling these days, they should be willing to sell to you for any price, no matter how low or ridiculous it may be.

...Looking for those discounts...

Even if it's 60, 70 or 80% off, it's still not enough for you.

...it should be almost FREE...

Because you don't realize that businesses still have to make money and despite what you may believe, they are NOT as desperate as they may seem.

...but it's a recession!...

So stop wasting their time demanding your ridiculously low prices and crazy deals. The only low number you should be concerned with is your very own IQ.

...No, I'm super smart!...

You think you're a cunning intelligent guy, but to everyone else you're simply a giant douche.

...Mr. wants a deal due to the economy...

[RavenStarr]

This is an awesome thread. May I suggest we make this a sticky. I don't think we will ever run out of songs for this.

[tropicsgoddess]

Tropicsgoddess presents Real SCs of Genius

Real SCs of Genius

Today we salute you, Mr. Armchair Technician

Mr. Armchair Technician

You call and argue with the tech about troubleshooting your way to fix your problem.

Fix it my way or the highway!

You spout off about how you work in IT and have degrees in computers.

I'm better than you!!

When in reality you just think that some lowly phone monkey is your personal punching bag for your shortcomings.

You're my biiiiiitch!

So here's to you. If you're so smart, why did you bother wasting time arguing when this could've been fixed because you're too lazy and dumb to do it?

Mr. Armchair Technician

[RavenStarr]

I know someone can come up with a song for these:

*Mr. hasn't bathed in a month*

*Mrs cheap perfume by the gallon*

*Mr. conspiracy theory theorist*


I can come up with titles just not the whole song.

[tropicsgoddess]

I know someone can come up with a song for these:

*Mrs cheap perfume by the gallon*

I can come up with titles just not the whole song.

I'll take this one!

Tropicsgoddess presents Real SCs of Genius

Real SCs of Genius

Today we salute you, Mrs. Cheap Perfume By The Gallon

Mrs. Cheap Perfume By The Gallon

Your presence is known from afar from the smell of your imitation designer perfume...

Do you smeeeeeellll me?

While other women spritz on a little perfume, you marinate in yours.

Marinate in it!!

You make people teary eyed and gag from the overwhelming scent of your obviously cheap perfume you saturate yourself with everywhere you go. So here's to you, Mrs. Cheap Perfume By The Gallon.

Mrs. Cheap Perfume By The Gallon!

[RavenStarr]

Oh I so wish I could come up with lyrics like that. You guys are so talented.