Questions you get so VERY tired of...

[angelicafire]

For all the utility call center peons out there:

"Why is my bill so high?"

I don't know, why don't you look at your bill and tell me why it's so high? Oh, you don't have a copy of your bill with you? Please call back when you do so we can discuss WTF you did last month. As if you didn't know.

[Racket_Man]

as strange/dumb as this one may sound, it happens maybe once a week

Thank you for calling XXX Pizza Place.

Yeah do you all sell pizza??????

NO we just like having the word PIZZA in our name for shits and grins. has NOTHING to do with what we ACTUALLY sell.

not sure if it is an 8 year old doing a continoius prank or if things are just not that obvious

this one may not be so obvious. Long time customers questions when we started charging a delivery convience fee. been oooooohhhhhh about 10 years now.

BUT BUT BUT I did not PAY a delivery charge when I ordered just a month ago...!!!!!!! Yes you did. we are required BY LAW to state the order total/price includes the delivery charge.

[guitardude1987]

"Do you have dipped cones?

No. We have not had them in OVER 4 YEARS! It's become a real frequently asked question, too. Could we start selling them again? Sure. Are we going to? No, they were too much a pain in the ass and the owners stopped selling them. So there!

And no, you did not "get one here yesterday"!

"Are ya'll open?!"

Before asking me this, read our hours of operation and do a little test. If the sign says that we close at 9:00 PM (every FUCKING day), and it is currently 3:00 in the damn after noon, yes. If it is currently 9:30 PM, then NOOOOOO!

"I know ya'll's happy hour ends at 5:00 and it's now 7:30, but could I get a drink for 99 cents anyway?"

I get this question at least three times a week. NO!

[MoonCat]

My favorite:
"If I mail my payment in to you, how long will it take to get to you/when will you get it/will you get it on time?"

How the hellll should I know, I'm not the post office!!!

[searssoulslave]

"Do you guys repair watches?"

No, I actually am paid to sit here, read books, and smile at people as they pass by. THE SIGN IS A LIE.

[superhotelworker]

Oh goddess I could have fun with this..

*After giving my spiel which says my name and hotel & location.
Where did I call?

WHere's the pool?
I HAVE NO DAMNED POOL! Grr *swats*

Is the coffee on?
Well, it's brewing.. so.. yes..

And my least favorite personal question from working at the desk:
Do you have a boyfriend?
*Holds up hand with ring on it* Engaged, bug off.

[Mike Taylor]

CUSTOMER: Where is the Wii/iPod/cell phone/whatever section? (While standing IN that section with a HUGE BLUE SIGN RIGHT OVER THEIR HEADS!)

[ralerin]

The opposite of Whiskey's.

"ARE YOU OPEN"?

No, I'm just standing here with my vest on, my sign flipped open and staring at you while the customer in front of you leaves.

[CrazedClerkthe2nd]

This always did confuse me, I always figured it was to try and convince people to pay the extra money for the new version, rather than the used.

I've thought this too, the problem is the profit margins are WAY higher on used items so what's the point in using a pricing strategy that makes people more inclined to lean towards a new copy?

[lupo pazzesco]

"This says 15% off the original price, so how much would I save?"
This question usually gets asked when I'm far from the register or a calculator. I'm good with calculating certain percentages, like 10%, 25%, 40%, and 50%, but 15% has always been tricky for me.

Mama taught me a trick to this! Take 10%. Divide by 2, then add to the 10%

I.e. item is $75. 10 % is 7.50. Divide by 2 is 3.75. Add to 7.50 and you get 11.25. 15%!! Whee!!


As for me. I get the following.

Why is the used price on the tag if you don't have any used books
Because the computer automatically calculates the used price as part of the program, whether they exist or not!

If I buy this book, can I sell it back at the end of the semester for $XX?
I don't know! I can't tell you what the buyback value will be 6 months from now! I'm not psychic!

How come my class has so many books?
Because your professor wants you to read them

Do I have to read all these books for my class?
Nope. You can not read them and not pass. Have fun with that.

Can I get my books on layaway? god I wish I was joking, I get asked this more often than I'd like...
NO!!

Or, I've noticed this little gem cropping up more frequently

I'm filling out the order form, but do I HAVE to pay for my books now, or can you just pull them, hide them, and keep them for me until I come get them?
....

I have no words. Good bye.

[StarsAreFixed]

1.) Where's the toilet here? In the shopping centre! We stopped having a customer toilet 5 years ago because you're all scumbags.

2.) Where's your maternity section? Gone nearly 3 years, who keeps telling you we still have it?

3.) Where's the leggings? BEHIND you.

4.) Where's the tills? Clearly signposted AND a different colour to the rest of the wall.

5.) Are these €5? YES why wouldn't they be, the sign says €5, each garment underneath it says €5, surprisingly!

6.) Can I get a refund..NO you're in a department store, all of which require you to go to the desk. Oh please give out and roll your eyes at the laborious task of using a lift/one escalator.

7.) I found this top stuck behind that other one, where's the rest of them? There IS no more, duhh, that's why it's behind the others..

8.) Do you work here? No I love to wear this hideous black and white gross shirt and drag rails around the floor..for the craic.

9.) "Attention please customers, the time now is 18:45 and we would like to inform you that this store will be closing in 15 minutes. Kindly complete your purchases and make your way to the nearest exit. Good evening and thank you for shopping at X, XX this evening". What time are you closing at? OR..oh are you closing? How much time do I have....15 minutes! We count your tme down for you conveniently.

10.) Are these for sale? The item in question is always MILES from a sale area, with no sign or pricetag proclaiming it to be in the sale. GO AWAY.

11.) Do you take the one4all vouchers (lots of stores here do)? Why not? You're in the booklet. NO we're not quit making shit up, oh please let me enter them as store vouchers and lose my job.

[bunnyboy]

Why is the beer case shut it's not 2:00 on my watch (that's funny it's nearly 2:30 on all of the store clocks)

Is it really that much (on the price of anything tobacco related, and yes it is, blame the state and feds for that)

why don't you have (Insert item that another store has but we don't)

Easy we're a franchise, also said store doesn't have to compete with where their customers are going (Biggest one is why we don't have Muscle Milk, oh I dunno maybe because 24 hour fitness is just down the street)

[Syriilord]

Customer: "Where can I find X?"
Me: "You mean the X you had to walk past a display of to ask me that question?"
Customer: "Yes"
Me: "No Idea..." ¬_¬

[SourRobot]

I had to shorten the list over and over again.

"Is this the 50% price?" (pointing to the numbers on the price tag that are not crossed out, and clearly does not equal 50% of the original price). Just divide by 2 and there's your answer.

I get 30% off and get an extra 20% for using my card...so I save 50%, right?
Now this question I don't mind answering, but when I tell them that no, it's an extra 20% off whatever the current price is, so it won't be 50%, they argue with me about it.

"This says 15% off the original price, so how much would I save?"
This question usually gets asked when I'm far from the register or a calculator. I'm good with calculating certain percentages, like 10%, 25%, 40%, and 50%, but 15% has always been tricky for me.

"Why is X locked up?"
Because they are. Why do you need a reason? It's not going to change once I tell you the answer. Usually when I give them some lame answer (it's all the space we were given for those items, etc.) they add in some stupid joke I've heard a million times already.

"Do you work here?"


"Is this on sale?"
No, that's why there's no discount sign above the items!

"Is this X% off?"
They ask this as they pick up an item from the group of items that have a discount sign that says "X% off" on the table.

"Does this coupon work on these items?"
Read the coupon! The answer's there!

[Whiskey]

Its only happened once but I'm already tired.

"Are you closed!?!?"


Well, we have several signs in the window saying we closed due to water issues, that I saw you read. You jerked on the door and its locked. You see me sitting at a table with my head down and no one in the kitchen...

No, we're not closed. We're only letting the super smarts who ask if we're closed in! Congrats! Enjoy your tacos.