Questions you get so VERY tired of...

[ShadowTiger]

My key desk is right in front of the loose screws and parts aisles. Very little is in boxes. We have to bag everything. So after I make some keys, or bag someone's stuff, they almost always ask "Do I pay here?"

And then I always air-sweep the desk with my hands in that dramatic motion, and say "No register here. :-/ " and shrug.

[Peppergirl]

Is this food? No, It's soap

So can I eat it? Again, It's soap. Do you normally eat soap?

Do you have candles? No, We don't sell candles. We will never sell candles. We only sell bath and skincare items. Candles are not bath or skincare.

Twelve year old Boy If I buy this sex bomb will you have sex with me? Good gods no. Get out of my store.

Why is this so expensive?? It's made by hand. With oils and not synthetics. Because it luxury bath products.

So I can only use it for one bath? What happens if I take it out? It is baking soda based. Once you get it wet it starts to dissolve. ONCE the chemical reaction starts, it doesn't stop until it has finished.

OMG. You work for my addiction. I think I love you!

[Subspace_Relay]

*during a rainstorm*

"Oh! All these buggies are wet. Don't you have a dry one I could have?"

They're wet? Really? No shit, Sherlock!

THIS. I have been asked this question on an incredibly busy Saturday when it had been raining since before I woke up and the only carts in the building were....the 30 I just brought in. At my store, there's this almost magical disconnect in guest's heads between the doors (next to the entrance, on the right) I bring my carts in through and the area, immediately to the right of the entrance, where the carts sit. A person will walk around the row of carts I am bringing inside, walk directly up to the moving first row of carts in the cart well, and be shocked when the MOVING ROW proves impossible to get a cart from and I advise them not to do that in the future. Do they think the doors lead to Narnia? They don't. That's back in furniture.

"How late are you open?" is the question that gets me. Now, I bring carts in through the door with hours on it, so I understand WHY it is being asked. I have no problem with it. It is WHEN it is being asked. Seven o'clock on a Tuesday is a time when no store of our type (we'll call it "Bull's Eye" for now) is anywhere near closing. Of course, the people coming to do their week's shopping at a half hour until closing, when the over night crew is already working on the sales floor, never ask. They don't care.

My favorite though was this elderly woman one memorial day. She walks in at about half past five PM and asks me how late we're open. At that time, it was 10 PM and I tell her as much. She remarks "huh, I thought you'd close at five" and walks off to shop. At 5:30 PM.

[EvilEmpryss]

Customer: Can that deposit go in as cash?
Me: This Is cash
Customer: I know
Me: ....

I've actually had a bank tell me that a counter deposit of about $150.00 cash would have a three-day hold put on it!

That was the day I transferred my account to a different bank.

[RxBoy]

"15 minutes? Is there any way it can be done sooner?"

"How much would (insert drug name here) cost with my insurance?"

"Why isn't this covered under my insurance?"

But I think the one that is annoying me the most right now is this...

"Why don't you have any Tylenol on the shelf?"

Some people must live under a rock.

[Rhania506]

Customer: But Why is my account overdrawn?
Me: Because you fail basic math

Customer: Can that deposit go in as cash?
Me: This Is cash
Customer: I know
Me: ....

~Rhania

[MoonCat]

I keep thinking of 'em:

Customer: So you're on Main Street, right?
Me: No, sir, we've been on [other street] since 1971.

Customer: You can bill me through my phone bill, right?
Me: No. They stopped doing that over 30 years ago.

Customer: Are you the same as the [town] Evening News?
Me: Yes, we dropped the "Evening" in the late 70's/early 80's.

Now, the funniest part of this is that these questions are often asked by people who sound younger than I am. Some of them I know are too young to have known us as the "Evening" News or to have even seen the building that used to be on Main St. (demolished years ago).

My favorite, though:

Customer: I wish the [other paper] had never closed!
Me: Well, since that happened in 1982, I think we can all get over that now.

(Actually had someone from out of town ask me for that other paper's phone number fairly recently...a year or two ago)

[CrazedClerkthe2nd]

Possibly because with the sale of the new one comes the attempt to sell the protection plan, which is usually pure profit. I can't account for specific stores, but in my experience used products tend to have a 30-day warranty if you're lucky, "as-is" if you're not.

SC (whining): I want to buy this used controller; it's only $3 less than the new one.
CSR (slave to the corporate dogma): But if you buy the brand-new one in the shiny shrinkwrap for just three measley dollars more, you can get the extended warranty for only $20, which means that if it breaks (under very limited circumstances such as the apocalypse or global nuclear warfare not started by the US) you bring it back and we replace it for free! If you buy that used one, and it stops working for any reason (even obvious, previously identified manufacturing defects), you'll have to buy a new one at your own expense.
SC (totally ignoring the bit about the added cost of the warranty): Oooh! The new one's only three dollars more, and I get a warranty! Gimmee the new one!

Not where I work, at our store warranties and protection plans work the same (and cost the same) for new and used products.

[ShinyGreenApple]

*during a rainstorm*

"Oh! All these buggies are wet. Don't you have a dry one I could have?"

They're wet? Really? No shit, Sherlock!

[Mnemjian]

Me: *on the phone* "Thank you for calling <store name with the street name prominently featured IN the store name>"

1. What street are you on?
or
2. What store is this?

ALL THE TIME

[EvilEmpryss]

I've thought this too, the problem is the profit margins are WAY higher on used items so what's the point in using a pricing strategy that makes people more inclined to lean towards a new copy?

Possibly because with the sale of the new one comes the attempt to sell the protection plan, which is usually pure profit. I can't account for specific stores, but in my experience used products tend to have a 30-day warranty if you're lucky, "as-is" if you're not.

SC (whining): I want to buy this used controller; it's only $3 less than the new one.
CSR (slave to the corporate dogma): But if you buy the brand-new one in the shiny shrinkwrap for just three measley dollars more, you can get the extended warranty for only $20, which means that if it breaks (under very limited circumstances such as the apocalypse or global nuclear warfare not started by the US) you bring it back and we replace it for free! If you buy that used one, and it stops working for any reason (even obvious, previously identified manufacturing defects), you'll have to buy a new one at your own expense.
SC (totally ignoring the bit about the added cost of the warranty): Oooh! The new one's only three dollars more, and I get a warranty! Gimmee the new one!

[Animae]

Is this food? No, It's soap

So can I eat it? Again, It's soap. Do you normally eat soap?

Do you have candles? No, We don't sell candles. We will never sell candles. We only sell bath and skincare items. Candles are not bath or skincare.

Twelve year old Boy If I buy this sex bomb will you have sex with me? Good gods no. Get out of my store.

Why is this so expensive?? It's made by hand. With oils and not synthetics. Because it luxury bath products.

So I can only use it for one bath? What happens if I take it out? It is baking soda based. Once you get it wet it starts to dissolve. ONCE the chemical reaction starts, it doesn't stop until it has finished.

[RavenStarr]

SC- There's a sign that says the coinstar is out of order.

Me- Yes maam I'm sorry

SC- Does that mean it's not working?

Me- *Saying* I'm afraid so maam. Again I'm very sorry.

What I was thinking is too difficult for words, so I will use some smilies to express my feelings:

[KellyHabersham]

This one isn't customers being sucky or stupid, but........ I hate getting asked any "reading-level related" questions while in the children's area at the library. Mainly because the vast majority of our books are NOT categorized by specific reading levels, and it gets frustrating have to explain this over and over.......not to mention having to point out that a lot depends on where the child is at with his/her reading skills. (For example, I was reading Gone With the Wind at age 9, but most of my classmates struggled through the short stories in our reading books at school)

[MoonCat]

Oh, got another popular one:

"I have to pay in advance? But I didn't last time!"

Yes, you did. We've been on a prepay-only system since 2002!!! And you last did business with us...(drumroll)...A MONTH AGO and YOU PREPAID THEN!