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Sex, Lies & Zombie Nixon
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Quoth Gravekeeper View PostMy God.
Quoth Gravekeeper View PostSC: “General Gaddafi tried but only Allah’s been given that permission”
Quoth Gravekeeper View PostAll you have to do is be clear, concise and polite in your request and I will do what I can to assist you. If you had simply said “Yes, hello, could you please provide me with a beat boxed assortment of funkiness? I feel the need to bust rhymes and require musical accompaniment. But lack an actual band.” I would have gladly accommodated you.
Quoth Gravekeeper View PostThere is more than one way to epoxy novelty bunny ears to a cat.
Quoth Gravekeeper View PostIf you required 7 minutes of coaching by page 8, you’re going to require a fire extinguisher by page 12, and paramedics by page 17.
Quoth Gravekeeper View PostHe was just outside the station, as always, dutifully performing for his audience of thin air and wishes.
Quoth Gravekeeper View PostMe: “Your name is Alfred?”
SC: “…..uh……….”
Me: “………”
SC: “That is....ummm.....…….Sarah.”
Good girl.
Quoth Gravekeeper View PostWhy does everyone think I’m a phone sex operator? <sob>
Quoth Gravekeeper View Postannnnnd rest.
"The Customer Is Always Right...But The Bartender Decides Who Is Still A Customer."
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Quoth Mnemjian View PostIs it bad that I kind of felt sorry for MC Shake & Bake?
This city has quite a few buskers, and the good ones actually tend to outnumber the bad ones. However, there are only a handful that are truly horrible and should never touch as microphone or instrument again. MC Shake & Bake is one of these people. >.>
The good ones actually have a name beyond "That guy" and play venues as well as busking. Really, most Buskers I pass actually range from decent to pretty good. Shake & Bake is a terrifying exception.
Quoth Salted GrumpThe Voice.
Quoth wagegothThere's a Blues Hound in my local BART station. The guy can play really well, but his voice just grates on my nerves. I can't bring myself to even toss him some coins, because I just want it to stop.
Quoth JesterBut see, that's not the way GK! They's gotta get down with them bad selves, tell the Phone Pimp (that's you, G) to break out the funky beats. G to the rave, K to the eeper, this is how we do it, cuz you ain't no sleeper, yo!
Quoth JesterIt’s comments like this that have caused me to develop the Drinking While Reading GK’s Post Technique.
Quoth JesterWait, a girl asked you this? If she was at all good-looking or had a pleasant personality (or both), why would it upset you that she thought you got paid for this? Think about that one for a while, my friend. Come back when you’ve really pondered it. Yeah.
Quoth JesterWhat, no Story Time again this week? This is the second week in a row. Methinks the fangirls might be getting restless….
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Quoth Gravekeeper View PostIt'd be easier if that.....dialect, didn't fill me with an overwhelming urge to bite something ;p
Yo, G, what up? Youse got to admit, dog, I be DAMN good at dis shit!
Quoth Gravekeeper View PostIt's a particularly bizzarre moment in life when someone tells you you're a choking hazard. Then provides safety directions.
Hell, this is not even the first time I have detailed the counter-measures to ensure everyone's safety. Maybe the first time I named them, but that's about it....
Quoth Gravekeeper View PostConsidering the recent track record of things attracted to my voice at work she probably use to be a man.
Dude, to paraphrase Rhett Butler, you need to get laid. And well. And by someone who knows how.
You're wound up tighter than a Nazi alarm clock in a synagogue during Passover.
Quoth Gravekeeper View PostI require sufficient exterior street/transit material to compose a Story Time. It ( thankfully ) does not always occur. >.>
"The Customer Is Always Right...But The Bartender Decides Who Is Still A Customer."
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Quoth Jester View Postto paraphrase Rhett Butler, you need to get laid. And well. And by someone who knows how.Unseen but seeing
oh dear, now they're masquerading as sane-KiaKat
There isn't enough interpretive dance in the workplace these days-Irv
3rd shift needs love, too
RIP, mo bhrionglóid
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Quoth Gravekeeper View PostA rather deranged man dressed somewhat like a lumberjack lunged at me a block up from here and demanded “BUY ME SOMETHING?!”... Luckily for me, he only had about a 2 metre operational radius and once I got out of range he returned to his start position and went back into guard mode. Waiting for the next person wandered into range.
Given the previous "adventures" that you've detailed for us, I would have figured that you knew by now to NOT pull aggro on Crazies. That's just asking for trouble.Be a winner today: Pick a fight with a 4 year old.
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Quoth Alpha Strike View PostGiven the previous "adventures" that you've detailed for us, I would have figured that you knew by now to NOT pull aggro on Crazies. That's just asking for trouble.Low lie the Fields of Athenry/ Where once we watched the small free birds fly/ Our love was on the wing/ we had dreams and songs to sing/ It's so lonely around the Fields of Athenry
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Quoth Jester View PostDude, to paraphrase Rhett Butler, you need to get laid. And well. And by someone who knows how.
Quoth Alpha StrikeGiven the previous "adventures" that you've detailed for us, I would have figured that you knew by now to NOT pull aggro on Crazies. That's just asking for trouble.
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Quoth Gravekeeper View PostMy God. Just....argh.
Geez, Again?
C: “There’s somebody running around the hallways trying to get into people’s apartments, and he doesn't have any clothes on!”
…Alright. Well, I can see how that would be…problematic. However, I must ask: What exactly do you want me to do about? Would not the police be a better option? They’re trained for this kind of thing. They loath it with every fiber of their being I’m sure, but they are trained for it. All I’ve got is a maintenance guy on duty and I doubt I can convince him to drive all the way down there to tackle some sweaty naked guy. Even if I did have security, the standard security training certifications required to be a security guard in BC do not include NDS ( Naked Dude Scenario ) resolution training.
Yes unfortunately that is apart of your on site training. Work security long enough in apartment buildings(which usually is say about a week) you'll deal with naked people and trust me the hot playboy bunny ones are never naked you get the the old, fat crazy ones
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Quoth Mr. Security View PostYes unfortunately that is apart of your on site training."For a musician, the SNES sound engine is like using Crayola Crayons. Nobuo Uematsu used Crayola Crayons to paint the Sistine Chapel." - Jeremy Jahns (re: "Dancing Mad")
"The difference between an amateur and a master is that the master has failed way more times." - JoCat
"Thinking is difficult, therefore let the herd pronounce judgment!" ~ Carl Jung
"There's burning bridges, and then there's the lake just to fill it with gasoline." - Wiccy, reddit
"Retail is a cruel master, and could very well be the most educational time of many people's lives, in its own twisted way." - me
"Love keeps her in the air when she oughta fall down...tell you she's hurtin' 'fore she keens...makes her a home." - Capt. Malcolm Reynolds, "Serenity" (2005)
Acts of Gord – Read it, Learn it, Love it!
"Our psychic powers only work if the customer has a mind to read." - me
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So late to the party, but had to respond. The moment I saw the title, I knew it was a Gravekeeper post.
Quoth Gravekeeper View PostWould not the police be a better option? They’re trained for this kind of thing.Quoth Jay 2K Winger View PostI think this might be Naked Justice's archnemesis, Naked Burglar!
Quoth Gravekeeper View PostMe: “Well I could hang up on you, so that’s one thing.”
Quoth Gravekeeper View PostWhy does everyone think I’m a phone sex operator? <sob>
I have advice on how to fix that, but not only do I like your voice the way it is, but I suspect some of your other fans would lynch me. >_>
Quoth Jester View PostBut see, that's not the way GK! They's gotta get down with them bad selves, tell the Phone Pimp (that's you, G) to break out the funky beats. G to the rave, K to the eeper, this is how we do it, cuz you ain't no sleeper, yo!
Quoth Gravekeeper View PostIt's a particularly bizzarre moment in life when someone tells you you're a choking hazard.
If I wasn't so good at smothering my laughter/choking, coworkers would be running to my aid right now.
^-.-^Faith is about what you do. It's about aspiring to be better and nobler and kinder than you are. It's about making sacrifices for the good of others. - Dresden
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