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Just Die.
Me: Hello, welcome to [store] do you have a [company] rewards card?
SC: No, I don't need one. Just get rid of those stupid things and lower the price already.
Me: ...uh...we can't control the price of gas.
SC: I know YOU can't.
Me: I meant "we" as in the company.
SC: ...oh.
Impossible
Customer called in a complaint for our store claiming that they had bought a frozen salad. This is impossible. Why? Because the salads at no time go anywhere where being frozen is a possibility. None. Nadda. Zip. Even the operations supervisor was like..."What? That's not even..." Plus most of the cashiers should be smart enough to notice something like that. Every damn customer wants their salad in a bag so we have to touch almost every single one that comes across our counter. None of them are EVER even CLOSE to being cold enough to be frozen. We'd notice, believe me. Only one of us is imcompetent enough to not notice and she hasn't worked retail for a while now. Nice try, Scammy McScammer.
Don't Worry About It
Me: Do you have a [company] rewards card?
SC: No, but don't worry about it.
Me: ...I'm not.
SC: ...uh. Well good.
Do I look worried? This just irks me. They really do say it like I'm just so concerned about it, like they have to console me because they don't have a rewards card and they don't want one. Really, it doesn't bother me. If you just say "no" I WON'T TRY TO GIVE YOU ONE. That is unless I analyze you by your keys you set on the counter and you're obviously local. Then I'll pester you.
Me: Do you have a [company] rewards card?
SC: I'M FROM VIRGINIA.
Me: ...okay?
SC: Why would anyone have a reward card for a GAS STATION?!
Me: ............................regulars.
SC: What?!
Me: Nothing.
What the...
Walked into the ladies room to find toilet paper strewn over everything. Literally there was paper over everything in the stalls. You couldn't tell anything was wrong when you just walked in but as soon as you opened the stalls there was paper freakin' everywhere. You know what's the sad thing? I don't think it was intentional. I just think that many people left scraps of paper on the floor. At least it wasn't poop.
Where's the REGULAR girl?
I was the lottery fairy and everyone recognized me as such. Now we have a new lottery fairy (Thank God, I was so tired of it). We'll call her Georgia. Whenever she's gone and I'm on lottery I suddenly have people asking me if I can do this properly and "where is Georgia?" Uuuh...you're obviously a new regular aren't you? Haha. I WAS the lottery girl, thanks. All the really old regulars who were regulars back in the day talk to me like, "Oh, hey, I love your new hair, you remember my numbers, you're such a doll, oh you have a good day sweetheart."
I'm tired of the "Where's Georgia" statements. I'm just about to say she died and that I ate her brains or something just to get them to shut up. SHE'LL BE BACK TOMORROW YOU IDIOTS.
My Mouth
I hope this guy doesn't become a regular because when he comes in he has a really dirty mind and turns everything I say into a perverted "that's what she said" type thing but without saying the "that's what she said" statement. It all started when he asked if I'd put dip in my mouth for a million dollars and unthinkingly I'd said that there wasn't much I WOULDN'T put in my mouth for a million dollars. Crap. He's gonna come back every day I bet.
Can I Borrow It?
We can get in real trouble if we use a different rewards card than the customer's in a purchase because that would benefit us and would be equivolent to stealing since it would save us on gas.
Me: Do you have a rewards card?
SC: Do you?
Me: Of course.
SC: Let me borrow it.
Me: ..................
SC: You have one don't you? Lemme borrow it. You can have my points.
Me: I can be fired for that.
SC: Oh please.
Me: We've already let a girl go for it. (true)
SC: Nobody would know.
Me: No thank you.
SC: Spoil sport. Let's see you get these points by yourself.
Me: I practically live here. I'm good on points.
LIKE, WHAT? I will not get in trouble for you! D:
Let's Play a Game...
What can I tell about you just from your wallet and your keys lying out on the counter?
1. Your boyfriend's name is Luke.
2. You're not married to Luke yet, nor are you engaged.
3. You drive a Honda Civic.
4. You're a Phillies and Steelers fan.
5. You're most likely a nurse from the local hospital.
6. You like to read, eat mexican food, and you're a little bit of a push-over.
7. You have no kids but you're probably the best aunt in the world.
8. Your sister has either had kids with a man of another race or has adopted her kids. She has two, a boy and a girl. They're pretty cute.
9. You drink plenty of beer. That or your keychain bottle open was shoddily made.
10. You're from Alaska originally but now you live here.
11. You're 32.
12. Your birthday is in March. The 6th to be exact.
13. You live in an apartment.
14. You have a cat named Tiger.
15. You're not knit-picky about style or fashion, you just like bright colors and comfort.
I'm creepy.
Me: Hello, welcome to [store] do you have a [company] rewards card?
SC: No, I don't need one. Just get rid of those stupid things and lower the price already.
Me: ...uh...we can't control the price of gas.
SC: I know YOU can't.
Me: I meant "we" as in the company.
SC: ...oh.
Impossible
Customer called in a complaint for our store claiming that they had bought a frozen salad. This is impossible. Why? Because the salads at no time go anywhere where being frozen is a possibility. None. Nadda. Zip. Even the operations supervisor was like..."What? That's not even..." Plus most of the cashiers should be smart enough to notice something like that. Every damn customer wants their salad in a bag so we have to touch almost every single one that comes across our counter. None of them are EVER even CLOSE to being cold enough to be frozen. We'd notice, believe me. Only one of us is imcompetent enough to not notice and she hasn't worked retail for a while now. Nice try, Scammy McScammer.
Don't Worry About It
Me: Do you have a [company] rewards card?
SC: No, but don't worry about it.
Me: ...I'm not.
SC: ...uh. Well good.
Do I look worried? This just irks me. They really do say it like I'm just so concerned about it, like they have to console me because they don't have a rewards card and they don't want one. Really, it doesn't bother me. If you just say "no" I WON'T TRY TO GIVE YOU ONE. That is unless I analyze you by your keys you set on the counter and you're obviously local. Then I'll pester you.
Me: Do you have a [company] rewards card?
SC: I'M FROM VIRGINIA.
Me: ...okay?
SC: Why would anyone have a reward card for a GAS STATION?!
Me: ............................regulars.
SC: What?!
Me: Nothing.
What the...
Walked into the ladies room to find toilet paper strewn over everything. Literally there was paper over everything in the stalls. You couldn't tell anything was wrong when you just walked in but as soon as you opened the stalls there was paper freakin' everywhere. You know what's the sad thing? I don't think it was intentional. I just think that many people left scraps of paper on the floor. At least it wasn't poop.
Where's the REGULAR girl?
I was the lottery fairy and everyone recognized me as such. Now we have a new lottery fairy (Thank God, I was so tired of it). We'll call her Georgia. Whenever she's gone and I'm on lottery I suddenly have people asking me if I can do this properly and "where is Georgia?" Uuuh...you're obviously a new regular aren't you? Haha. I WAS the lottery girl, thanks. All the really old regulars who were regulars back in the day talk to me like, "Oh, hey, I love your new hair, you remember my numbers, you're such a doll, oh you have a good day sweetheart."
I'm tired of the "Where's Georgia" statements. I'm just about to say she died and that I ate her brains or something just to get them to shut up. SHE'LL BE BACK TOMORROW YOU IDIOTS.
My Mouth
I hope this guy doesn't become a regular because when he comes in he has a really dirty mind and turns everything I say into a perverted "that's what she said" type thing but without saying the "that's what she said" statement. It all started when he asked if I'd put dip in my mouth for a million dollars and unthinkingly I'd said that there wasn't much I WOULDN'T put in my mouth for a million dollars. Crap. He's gonna come back every day I bet.
Can I Borrow It?
We can get in real trouble if we use a different rewards card than the customer's in a purchase because that would benefit us and would be equivolent to stealing since it would save us on gas.
Me: Do you have a rewards card?
SC: Do you?
Me: Of course.
SC: Let me borrow it.
Me: ..................
SC: You have one don't you? Lemme borrow it. You can have my points.
Me: I can be fired for that.
SC: Oh please.
Me: We've already let a girl go for it. (true)
SC: Nobody would know.
Me: No thank you.
SC: Spoil sport. Let's see you get these points by yourself.
Me: I practically live here. I'm good on points.
LIKE, WHAT? I will not get in trouble for you! D:
Let's Play a Game...
What can I tell about you just from your wallet and your keys lying out on the counter?
1. Your boyfriend's name is Luke.
2. You're not married to Luke yet, nor are you engaged.
3. You drive a Honda Civic.
4. You're a Phillies and Steelers fan.
5. You're most likely a nurse from the local hospital.
6. You like to read, eat mexican food, and you're a little bit of a push-over.
7. You have no kids but you're probably the best aunt in the world.
8. Your sister has either had kids with a man of another race or has adopted her kids. She has two, a boy and a girl. They're pretty cute.
9. You drink plenty of beer. That or your keychain bottle open was shoddily made.
10. You're from Alaska originally but now you live here.
11. You're 32.
12. Your birthday is in March. The 6th to be exact.
13. You live in an apartment.
14. You have a cat named Tiger.
15. You're not knit-picky about style or fashion, you just like bright colors and comfort.
I'm creepy.
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