SC posts complaint about me online

[tropicsgoddess]

I would report the review to yahoo.com, it's not relevant to the store for one and two he's being incredibly immature and making a mountain out of a molehill.

[Evandril]

Your only option to make SCs like that happy is to go out with them, become utterly devoted to their every wish...and you'll still most likely do something wrong that sends them into a rage.

Keep being your normal self, and don't be overly bothered by idiots of this sort

[Dreamstalker]

The only thing I can think of is that he took my nice-to-everyone attitude and equated it with being some type of emotional whore.

The Twit did something similar in college. A few days before Halloween one year, I decided to buy some bulk candy and put a bucket outside my door; I'd be up at dad's helping with his trick-or-treaters (and possibly going roaming myself) but wanted to do something nice for the hall because that's the type of person I am. I forgot to take it in, and soon I was finding loose change in the bucket as well; another friend left a few bucks with a note "I like your candy bucket; please keep it out all year? Here's some cash for supplies and we'd love if you could get X, Y, and Z".

Long story short, over Thanksgiving Twit and I had made plans to go down to ABQ for the day (hitch a ride with my dad). She pulls a no-show and leaves a nasty note under my door accusing me of basically the same thing (being a manipulator--pot, kettle, black) and mentions the candy bucket

After a short discussion with dad over coffee, his suggestion was to ignore the note and not let on that it ever existed. Basically try to act normal (that really pisses them off), but keep it in the back of my mind. If it could have been future ammunition I never had a chance to use it as she blew things up quite well by herself later.

sounds like he thought just because you were nice to him it means you want to date him.

Yup. In his mind you want to date him, so he's creating this nice story hoping to get you fired so you'll come crying to him. Or something. I don't really try to figure out motivations anymore.

he doesn't talk about the store at all, he openly says that he's complaining because he got shit down because he misinterpreted *you doing your job*.

If the business owner can be the one to report the review as a personal attack on an employee, that might (might) carry more weight to get it removed. If this guy wants people to go to the farther store so much, ban him and see how he likes it.

[manybellsdown]

Geez what a ridiculous man-child. I have to agree with whoever said a wedding band probably won't help. I still get hit on, and if you're being friendly some guys will think you're looking for a bit on the side.

And it doesn't just happen in stores. After I had my daughter and had separated from her father, I was living with my mother. The older fellow that lived next door decided to ask my mom out to dinner. She turned him down. He reported me to Child Protective Services, saying my kid "cried all the time" (she never cried) and "had bruises" (nope, never).

[thansal]

Oh, ugh.

There is one last detail people are leaving out of the rational behind the attack.

A decent number of geeks who have the complex of "It's female and nice to me means she is flirting" also have the complex of "If she isn't directly interested in me she MUST be a <female derogatory of your choice> that is ONLY using her looks and charm to manipulate me to do <Action, in this case, buy crap>". I mean, it's the Mike complex ala SP, just you know, a real person...

I, being the massive geek/nerd/whatever that I am did (ok, still do to some extent) have the first part of the problem (She's female, and talking to me!), however, I was socially awkward and reacted with shyness, instead of socially awkward and reacting with false bravado.

I knew plenty of people like that (and got enough of the "She's a whore" rants) to make me want to bash skulls. Fortunately, none of my close friends were like this (a whole slew of beta males and the girls that love them :P).


Ninja addendum: Wedding ring wouldn't work, if they are anything like me they simply wouldn't get what it means :P

[Duncan MacLeod]

Goddess of Retail/other comic book shop folks,

Have you heard this song? I think you might like the lyrics and the song is good too! It is called "I sell Comics" by Courage my Love

www.youtube.com/watch?v=nnGesOIWnSM

and if you thank me and/or be nice to me because of this comment, I promise not to ask you out on a date (Mostly because my girlfriend would disapprove)

[XCashier]

Well, I don't know how to respond to the guy's attitude. As to your problem with guys hitting on you? Wear a fake wedding band.

Doesn't always work. I wear a real wedding band (in fact, we celebrated our 21st anniversary yesterday!) and still get hit on. Some folks just do not comprehend the fact that we are friendly and polite because that's part of our job, and we don't necessarily want to get in their pants.

[PatchO'Black]

Yep, some folks don't understand the difference between "polite friendliness" and "romantic interest". I also agree that, while some folks may have gotten good results from wearing a faux-wedding ring, there are some idiots out there who will ether ignore it, or may even believe the adult movies they've watched that all married women are looking to have a "fling". Not that I watch those sorts of movies, but I've heard stories about them...

[Mytical]

Also, it doesn't only happen in Comic Shops. More then a few here who work as servers in restaurants (and are female) can probably tell you similar stories. I've even been sitting with one of my friends (who I have not seen for years now) and they have said "Did you see that? She is so into me." when a waitress was friendly. Heck South Park did a whole thing about it once I think.

I've been told I was flirting when I was just being nice. Some people just seem to have their own world sadly. So just ignore the petty people who's feelings get hurt because you don't worship the ground they walk on, and keep being your friendly and wonderful self.

[Andara Bledin]

Another thing to consider: There are some people out there who just don't comprehend that men and women can be friends and be just friends with no interest in being more than friends.

This guy seems like one of those people who thinks that men and woman only socialize because they're looking to hook up, not because they enjoy other people's company. >_<

^-.-^

[Little Retail Rabbit]

Oh man do I know all about guys thinking my friendliness means more!

I've literally only JUST resolved an issue with a close male friend who had a thing for me recently. It went on for years. We met when we were teenagers, and we got talking about manga and video games. He took this to mean I was interested but I was already going out with my fiance at that point. Cue years of frustration. Fortunately, thats all over now, because we discussed things frankly and its all over with. He's happy and moved on, and I have my friend back

But he is not the only bloke by far to have made this mistake with me. I don't consider myself flirty, but I am very friendly. I am not what I would call sexy but I think I'm sort of cute (my fiance would argue with that ^^;; ). Much of my personality is reflected in my appearance- cute, bouncy, silly, childlike, etc. A lot of people can tell that my willingness to hug people in greeting, and chat happily for long periods is just part of my personality and know I am friendly. Some people- especially blokes, and especially nerdy blokes, assume this must mean I am interested in them. Which is hugely frustrating

And I'm going to have to second the geek-appeal thing here that's been mentioned. A lot of geeky guys don't get to talk to girls, either due to their own shyness or the fact most girls aren't into the same pursuits. Suddenly, they meet a girl who is reasonably attractive (I wouldn't be surprised if the OP was actually something of an ugly duckling who has become very pretty and doesn't realise it, from the way she describes herself) and isn't sneering down their nose at them for liking comic books and computer games etc. No- she likes that stuff, shows a knowledge in it, and she seems happy to talk to said geeky guy! By the power of Greyskull, she must be really into me! >.<

And those same guys probably have a low view of the "popular" girls at school- you know the kind, in America they were cheerleaders ^^;; As far as the geeky guys were concerned they were dumb, mean sluts. As far as the deluded fool from the OP's post is concerned, she might as well have shot him under the table in a bar in Mos Eisley <.< So she's just the same as those MEAN girls from school now, even though all she did was just provide great customer service.

Yep, thats right, your customer service is excellent , and I hope you don't feel you have to change your ways thanks to one deluded guy. It may happen again and to be honest there's not much YOU can do to change it. If a guy gets a bit fond of you and has a thing for you, thats one thing; you're obviously cute and bright and he is logical to think "hey she's cute and bright and likes comic books, I like this girl!" The problem occurs, as you've found out firsthand, when the guy thinks that you must be feeling the same way...but this is not your fault; neither is him dealing with the non-realisation of this 'romance' immaturely your fault either This is about the guy being emotionally immature and inexperienced, not you being a tart.

So yeah, I would do as suggested already, if it seems to go too far the wrong way, tell them that you were just trying to provide good customer service because you value and appreciate their custom and would be interested in being friends, but you are a professional and you are not trying to act as otherwise.

BTW, yes, engagement rings and weddings bands are frequently overlooked or ignored altogether (even when I've rebuffed people by stating I was engaged and holding up the offending hand to prove this ). I've tried scratching my nose with the ring, and now even outright mentioning my fiance- but some guys are just CLUELESS. The last stalker I had to shake off seemed to completely not hear me mention "I'm engaged" twice before daring to ask if I was seeing anyone *face desk*.

Apparently, it would seem that us geek girls are pretty great catches ^^;; we're hot even when we're trying NOT to be ^^;;

[bunnyboy]

I hate my own kind for this.

Is it too much to ask for girls who would get the plethora of references in episode 18 of The Joker Blog and enjoy rolling dice to attack imaginary monsters without having you guys either go "ewww a girl," or "a hurr a girl." Some of us like being able to point out how Ra's Al-Ghul's name is supposed to be pronounced, and having a slew of people back us up.

As for what to do, report for not being a review. And realize you have a plethora of other wonderful customers.

For the uninitiated it's pronounced raysh awl gool. Nolan didn't do his research.

[Redbeard]

"you want to get dinner sometime? no? Okay, cool, see you next week for my pull"
It's NOT that hard! Argh.

[Syriilord]

Yeah. I'm a guy who frequents a comic store staffed by a cute geekette. I'll admit it, I'm fond of her but it's more of a big brother / kid sister platonic thing than anything romantic.

After one too many heartbreaks, I don't think I have any interest in romance anymore....

[vang]

Aside from anything about comic geeks in particular, there's the whole bit that the OP touched on with game stores blurring the lines between "worker" and "friend" a bit. In most good gaming and comic shops I've been to, the worker being friendly means showing an interest in the customer's likes more than a lot of other stores. You're talking about things they like, bantering about your shared interests, suggesting things you either personally or via other customers think they might like. If it's a store where people actually play stuff, then it's not just a store, it's their hangout, where they go to play games and laugh for hours.

At that point it's not just a store, it's deliberately a social place for some customers, where they're relaxed and enjoying and taking things more personally. It's like the equivalent of someone who always hits on the bartender because she remembers his favorite drink and chats about who he was with last time. You don't normally get service like that in Walmart. This is a special, different place where the person behind the counter knows you and shares your interests, and that Must Mean Something.

So I do think you don't have to be an unwashed undated imbecile to accidentally read too much into sometimes, especially if you're not used to a good comic/gaming store or are young. (I mildly wonder if that store he recommended 45 minutes away is one of those run by someone who pays you no attention and can't remember that you have a sub after several years without being prompted each time.) But there's a vast difference between reading a little into it, and throwing a freakout and blaming the worker for your mistake. The former you maybe ask someone out, feel embarrassed, and move on. The latter... you go bother yahoo with childish froth.