I work in a fucking adult preschool, I swear...

[morgana]

Unless you add all the used cards and reshuffle after each hand.

Yup. Which is why I no longer play blackjack.

[gerund]

(Oh, and she was making irritating chip changes, too. Fifteen dollars, from fives to ones, EVERY SINGLE HAND, only to place five one dollar chips on each of three hands. WHAT IS THE POINT OF YOU OMG SERIOUSLY.)

I was playing blackjack very late one night, and it was a new dealer on the table. It was a full table and this idiot was sitting in the middle. He had tight pants on so he had to stand up to get his wallet out. He was playing like this on a $5 minimum table:-

First hand - bet $5 lost

Second hand - wait until everyone had their bets out, stand up, take out wallet, open wallet, open little flap inside wallet, take out one $25 chip, push to dealer, get $5 chips. Close flap, close wallet, put back in pants, put $5 bet on.

Third hand - win $5. Push stack of $5 chips at dealer, get $25 chip. Stand up, take out wallet, open wallet, open little flap inside wallet, put $25 chip inside, close flap, close wallet, put wallet back in pants pocket, sit down, place $5 bet.

Repeat 10 times from first hand to second hand with the whole table watching and waiting every performance.

After the approximate 10th time I cracked. The floor manager (who should have been watching the new dealer) came over and instructed the dealer to stop changing chips and to stop waiting for Mr Stupid, just deal the cards.

[veniteangeli]

But the customer is always right, and after all, he WAS asking you to hit him.

She. Pissed as a fart, and incredibly unattractive - not in face, but in demeanor. I cannot abide girls who think it's attractive to go out and get sloppy drunk then drape themselves all over whoever will have them.

And to gerund - that's either extreme OCD, or extreme selfishness and narcissism. Either way I'm glad he was made to stop. At no time is it okay to hold up an entire table full of people just to suit your whim.

[gerund]

Either way I'm glad he was made to stop. At no time is it okay to hold up an entire table full of people just to suit your whim.

He looked quite annoyed and then played with his $5 chips for a short time, then went away. The dealer was an ex-player who became a dealer to stop her giving all of her money to the casino. She decided it was OK to go over each hand and tell the last player what he should have done to bust her.

The problem with blackjack in Australia is the dealer does not get their second card until everyone has acted, so the last player to act is often blamed by superstitious players for the end result.

After the pit boss found out about her (someone complained ), she improved quite a bit as a dealer, but I understand she still sucked as a player.

[EricKei]

-... even if she was smarter than me...

- They don't pay me to be wrong.

- So I suspect it's a combination of being an idiot and an inconsiderate selfish ass.

- That's the thing about scammers. They THINK they're smarter than everyone else. Generally, they're not. However, they do have an expectation that their marks may not be as attentive as they should be, and that's the problem. People scamming money out of grocery cashiers tend to work this way.

- Indeed ^_^

- Yeah, that last one works for me, too.

[veniteangeli]

Okey-dokey!

As for the calling you by your name over and over ... can you reply with an increasingly ludicrous nickname each time?

"Why thank you veniteangeli."
"You're welcome, Pookiemuffin."
"...What??"
"Nothing Snorklemumpus, did you want to hit or stand?"

SNORKLEMUMPUS.

No, I just hid behind my hair and glowered at her. The more she did it, the more I retreated, until it was painfully obvious that I was willing her death with every inhale.

[veniteangeli]

Not being a gambler, I don't know what goes on in casinos, beyond the basic rules of the games played.

As I understand it, counting cards means keeping a running total in your mind counting the numbers of low cards v the number of face cards, and adjusting your bets when the total gets askew in one direction or the other.

How does a card shuffling machine counter that? Unless you add all the used cards and reshuffle after each hand.

AFAIK, one method of card counting is based on the concept that when I take cards out, there are that many less left in the "shoe", or card holder.

For example, say we're using four decks. That's 4x52 cards, or 208 cards. If you're keeping tabs on what comes out, then you can guess what's left to come out, right? And the closer to the end of the cards you get, the more accurate your guesses can be.

The card shuffler eliminates this method of card counting, because after every hand, instead of putting the cards in the discard holder to accumulate, they go straight back in the machine. Since they're all constantly cycling through, the ability to predict what's "left" is nil. Minus the cards being used in the current hand, ALL the cards are "left".

Another method utilizes a running total, where you add one for a high card, subtract one for a low card, add nil for a middle card (not the real method, just an approximation from what I've read). Again, this is based on the concept that you can guess what's left, with increasing accuracy toward the end of the cards, based on the running total in your head.

[mharbourgirl]

Jesus, even in normal conversation with my actual friends, we don't say each other's names longer than it takes to get the other's attention! Once it's established who you're taking to, the names become irrelevant!

Heh. I never actually use the Hubster's name unless I'm talking ABOUT him to someone else. I've been married to the guy for almost 17 years, I KNOW his name. If I say 'Hon,' he knows I'm talking to him because I sure wouldn't call anyone else that. Likewise from him to me. I get weirded out if he actually calls me by name, it's like he's talking to someone he doesn't know very well.

I don't call my brothers by name, either, but what I call THEM isn't exactly printable. I love them, but they're younger than me. Status must be established and maintained.

[Tuxian]

How to play blackjack
Short but sweet: if you want another card, you make a tapping motion on the table. If you don't want another card, you make a waving motion. This is so that we have you on camera making your decision. On the off chance one of us (read: you) makes a mistake, we have a record of the decisions that were made.

Why yes, this is indeed a vast dispute between the player and the house a lot of the time (Hi there fellow dealer!). I deal both standard (8 or 6-deck) shoe blackjack, and double-deck pitch blackjack. So many times, people think that they can just make any old motion, and we'll instantly know what they're intending. So I don't do anything, until I get a clear signal, and will explain to them, in short baby words, that they must (on shoe) tap or wave, not a combination (some players like to mix the signal, in hopes of us 'making a mistake' so they can get their money back for us not interpreting their signal correctly) or on pitch, they must make a scratch with the cards IN THEIR HAND, or place the cards down next to/underneath the bet to stand. I love when people put their cards down next to their bet, and turn to talk to someone behind them, I go on past them and hit the next person, they start shouting "HEY I WANTED A HIT!" Usually the supervisor just gives them a 'too bad' and tells them not to set their cards down if they want a hit from now on.

While I'm on the subject of being over familiar
Yes, I'm wearing a name badge. By reading my name off it, you've actually proved that you're smarter than 95% of the clientèle - you can read! Kudos. But there's no need to REPEAT my name every thirty seconds. It's as creepy as shit. I don't know you from a bar of soap. We are not friends. I can't return the "favor" by constantly namedropping YOU.

I hate this too. It doesn't cause me panic attacks, which I'm sorry to hear it did for you. But for me, I want to look them right in the face and tell them "Mine name be-ith not a spell for conjuring a winning hand by, please desist in using it as such."

(Oh, and she was making irritating chip changes, too. Fifteen dollars, from fives to ones, EVERY SINGLE HAND, only to place five one dollar chips on each of three hands. WHAT IS THE POINT OF YOU OMG SERIOUSLY.)

At my place, this would never be allowed, for two reasons. First off, we're not going to sit there and make change for you every hand. And second, we have a rule that playing two hands requires a bet of twice the table minimum, and three hands requires five times the minimum, or $100, whichever is lower.

Repeat 10 times from first hand to second hand with the whole table watching and waiting every performance.

After the approximate 10th time I cracked. The floor manager (who should have been watching the new dealer) came over and instructed the dealer to stop changing chips and to stop waiting for Mr Stupid, just deal the cards.

As pointed out above, a dealer should never be making change every hand like that, because most of the time people who are doing that are hoping to slow the game down so they can keep track of the count better, or so that they can show the world just how much of an annoyance they can be.

He looked quite annoyed and then played with his $5 chips for a short time, then went away. The dealer was an ex-player who became a dealer to stop her giving all of her money to the casino. She decided it was OK to go over each hand and tell the last player what he should have done to bust her.

Big no-no there. I as a dealer do not go back over a player's hand unless they ask me what they should have done, or unless they do something INCREDIBLY stupid (standing on an A-6, splitting against an 8/9/10/A/2, etc) and act shocked they lost, etc.

The problem with blackjack in Australia is the dealer does not get their second card until everyone has acted, so the last player to act is often blamed by superstitious players for the end result.

This is a variety called No-Hole Card Blackjack, and the odds on that variation tilt the odds much more strongly in favor of the house. And while you will hear a LOT of people try and say that the player on the dealer's right side (the "third base" player) is the most important player on the table, that's a load of crock. Every player is important, and can affect the outcome, so don't place all the onus on a single player.

[veniteangeli]

1. I had a situation once where someone was drumming their fingers on the table. I reacted instinctively and gave them a card. 16+10=bust! they were pretty pissed about it, and I didn't give a shit, so I handed it off to the inspector, who handed it off to our scariest pit boss, N. She reviewed the cameras, came back, and literally said, "If you want a card, tap on the table. If you want to drum, get a drum set. Either way stop holding the table up by being a damn baby. YOU messed up, so stop trying to make out like the dealer was at fault."

I loved her.

2. I requested a name change (for the rest of the night). I had some cool pit bosses on, so I just explained how creeped out the sound of my own name was making me, and I got to be Jim for the rest of the evening. It amuses us all, because I'm a woman

3. I have to make change. I don't have to be happy about it. And the ones weren't for the back bet, they were for Perfect Pairs - do you guys have that?

As far as them slowing the game down, have you ever noticed that the very people who do that, are the first ones to get pissy if you have to delay it for someone else? So that's what I do. I'll zoom through the annoying chip change and shove the chips out at them in two seconds flat, but I'll take my time over anyone else's change, with lots of smiles, customer service small talk, and rapport. I can't think of a better way to get the point across that this is MY table, and we will be going at MY pace, whether you like it or not. What are they going to do, complain that I'm being friendly to the players?

4. I don't tell people what to do, ever. There are certain moves where I want to bang people's heads together, like you said, but I won't say anything. It's their money, if they want to piss it up against the wall playing a game they have no idea how to play, that's their lookout. My reasoning is, if I tell you what I think you should do, and you do it and lose, it opens up a can of worms where you can claim that the casino trains its dealers to deliberately make you lose by giving bad advice. I'm not going down like that.

[EricKei]

I requested a name change

Awesome. Pleasure to meetcha, Jim ^_^

What are they going to do, complain that I'm being friendly to the players?

Based on what I've seen of stories around this place? Yes. Without hesitation. There are occasional tales here of cursetomers getting pissed because the worker was "too friendly/nice", or, especially, "too happy" or happy at all. After all, we're not human, we're just H. roboto, the common worker drone; as such, we're not allowed to have emotions.

[Tuxian]

3. I have to make change. I don't have to be happy about it. And the ones weren't for the back bet, they were for Perfect Pairs - do you guys have that?

Nope, my casino only has straight Blackjack, no side bets. And the lowest our tables go is $15.

As far as them slowing the game down, have you ever noticed that the very people who do that, are the first ones to get pissy if you have to delay it for someone else? So that's what I do. I'll zoom through the annoying chip change and shove the chips out at them in two seconds flat, but I'll take my time over anyone else's change, with lots of smiles, customer service small talk, and rapport. I can't think of a better way to get the point across that this is MY table, and we will be going at MY pace, whether you like it or not. What are they going to do, complain that I'm being friendly to the players?

Oh, this exactly. I had a situation tonight that made me as a dealer laugh. I had a guy keep changing his $25s down for $5s, and then he'd go and make $30 bets, so I'd just give him the $25s right back again, I think we went around and around like that for a good 2 hours. Though it wasn't all directly in-out-in-out, there were about 20-30 min stretches where he'd bounce around before having to change them back in.

4. I don't tell people what to do, ever. There are certain moves where I want to bang people's heads together, like you said, but I won't say anything. It's their money, if they want to piss it up against the wall playing a game they have no idea how to play, that's their lookout. My reasoning is, if I tell you what I think you should do, and you do it and lose, it opens up a can of worms where you can claim that the casino trains its dealers to deliberately make you lose by giving bad advice. I'm not going down like that.

Oh, I won't tell people out of the blue either. If they ask me for advice, I always preface it by saying "If it were me", so they know that it's my personal opinion on the matter, but I never tell them they should or shouldn't do anything, just whether I would or wouldn't, and only when asked.

Had another situation tonight, had 4 players at the table, doing all right, not winning a lot, but not getting crushed either. Asian lady sits down, and starts trying to dictate to the table how people were supposed to be playing their hands. Which straight up pissed off the other players. ESPECIALLY when she kept dispensing her 'advice' after she'd lost all her money, and the other 4 still had chips on the table.

[gerund]

This is a variety called No-Hole Card Blackjack, and the odds on that variation tilt the odds much more strongly in favor of the house. And while you will hear a LOT of people try and say that the player on the dealer's right side (the "third base" player) is the most important player on the table, that's a load of crock. Every player is important, and can affect the outcome, so don't place all the onus on a single player.

In Australia the house takes original bets only when it gets blackjack, so the no hole card variation is the same odds as the normal game in Las Vegas. It doesn't matter what *ANY* player does in the long run in this game or the LV game as the dealer will get the same mixture of cards and the same odds in any game.

However lots of superstitious players here will try to claim a difference by ignoring the times it helps them and picking on the times it helps the dealer. This is typical SC behaviour (of course look at the title of the page!)

When I played blackjack (in a far ago time in another place) there were a number of other players that hated me hitting soft 18 against the dealers A T or 9. Of course sometimes I won and sometimes I lost. Sometimes I took the T that would have given the dealer a winning hand and sometimes I took the 2 that would have busted him.

In the long run I know I won slightly more than I lost, so any objections from the other players just made me laugh. It was more obvious when I did it because I always played "3rd base" as you put it. My excuse was protecting a bad leg, but the real reason was that I got a better look at the cards from there.

Anyway, there was this other player who frothed at the mouth every time he saw me do this. One day there was only one table open and he came and sat there and huffed and puffed at me a few times to play "properly" without actually saying anything about what specific actions he would find "improper".

The casino didn't allow any arguments about how to play, so he had to be careful. So it turns out there was another player on the table the same as me, and SC sat and huffed a few times in the first 10 minutes when I did it. He totally ignored the time I busted the dealer doing it, and started to talk to himself about never winning with players like this on the table.

Then came the hand when I had soft 18, the other player had soft 18 and we both hit, and the dealer got a ten and the whole table lost. Mr Huff n Puff picked up his chips and stomped off towards the bar, still muttering about losing.

I looked at his retreating back and said to the whole table, "Well, that was the best $5 I ever lost. They all burst out laughing.

Even the dealer enjoyed it - he was sick of Mr Huff n Puff too.

I have another story about Mr Huff n Puff cheating at poker and losing because he was cheating if any one wants to hear it.

[Tuxian]

Even the dealer enjoyed it - he was sick of Mr Huff n Puff too.

I have another story about Mr Huff n Puff cheating at poker and losing because he was cheating if any one wants to hear it.

Oh, I hate Huff 'n Puffers. They always love to claim they KNOW how people are supposed to play their hands, and get mad at everyone, from the player "playing the wrong way" to the dealer for "letting them play stupid like that!"

And yes, please, I would love to hear the story of how an idiot could try and cheat at a poker table and do badly enough at it to lose...

[wolfie]

The problem with blackjack in Australia is the dealer does not get their second card until everyone has acted, so the last player to act is often blamed by superstitious players for the end result.

This is a variety called No-Hole Card Blackjack, and the odds on that variation tilt the odds much more strongly in favor of the house. And while you will hear a LOT of people try and say that the player on the dealer's right side (the "third base" player) is the most important player on the table, that's a load of crock. Every player is important, and can affect the outcome, so don't place all the onus on a single player.

Just curious, but how does dealing the dealer's second card after all the players have acted, rather than at the beginning, affect the odds?

4. I don't tell people what to do, ever. There are certain moves where I want to bang people's heads together, like you said, but I won't say anything. It's their money, if they want to piss it up against the wall playing a game they have no idea how to play, that's their lookout. My reasoning is, if I tell you what I think you should do, and you do it and lose, it opens up a can of worms where you can claim that the casino trains its dealers to deliberately make you lose by giving bad advice. I'm not going down like that.

How about, in cases where someone makes an obviously boneheaded move, recommending that they read a book (don't specify title, leave the choice up to them) on basic blackjack strategy? After all, if they follow its advice, and still lose, it's the author who was giving them bad advice.