All new lows (my brain hurts now)

[Cat Herder]

A quote of mine is being used in RealUnimportant's sig line! I'm becoming a real person in the CS community!

*bows to RealUnimportant*

I am honored, Sir/Madam!

[dragon_wings]

My roommate has a learning disability. She can't spell a lot of words and punctuation confuses her. So when she types something or even prints something it looks like that. And then I see it and sigh heavily and help her revise it. She tries, she really does. But she doesn't do it on purpose. She doesn't want to come across as an illiteral idiot. I even downloaded a dictionary app for her phone. She has gotten better too.

[Seshat]

As I've mentioned before, my father is also semi-literate through no fault of his own.

But he visibly struggles with his semi-literacy, visibly struggled to improve his literacy during my childhood, and made it clear to both my brother and I how proud he is that we are fluently literate.

And while he will communicate with his immediate family in his semi-literate writing; all professional and out-of-family correspondence is passed through my mother for editing.

He even prefers that she be the one to email me; so as not to expose me to his semi-literacy. (I think he's embarassed.) The few times I've received email from him directly have been when she's in hospital; or to help arrange surprises for her.

If he ever sees 'textspeak' from my niece or nephew... I shudder to think of the lecture they'll get.

[fireheart]

There's whole groups on Farcebook devoted to the fact that "dis isnt skool y dose it mater"... They like to think that you should only write "properly" if you're being graded on it; the fact that continual use will make it easier to remember doesn't seem to be a consideration.

I have seen/heard this SO often it isn't funny. Their idea seems to be that they'll only do it to impress others, not to better their self-image.

[DGoddessChardonnay]

In regards to "dis isnt skool y dose it mater", maybe somebody should tell these types that when they write that way, people tend to think that they're dealing with a barely literate, inarticulate child, as opposed to a functional teenager or adult.

They have no idea how stupid such "writing" makes them look.

My niece is guilty of doing this on FB . . . and frankly, I can't translate so what I'll do is reply back to use standard english so us older folks can figure out what she's talking about.

Unfortunately it sails over her head and hits the wall with a SPLAT! Hard to imagine why my sister (her mom) would make a comment on FB about her being dense . . .

I don't care that she's 14, it does not make her look cute . . . just like a moron that can't function and makes ME wonder how the Hell did she finish middle school (she starts HS this fall.)

These kids really need to knock that crap off.

[spark]

Additional gems from this person:

"Yes i am insane and i am sorry i just have this thing in summer camp and its tommorow so i do not know what to do."

"i need because theres this thing called zimriah we r doin disney hit movies and our song was this is halloween from the nightmare before christmas."

"well um hm is wolf and hm is life size espeon and other pokemon?"

Me: Sorry, I have no idea what you're trying to ask.

"HM STANDS FOR HOW MUCH!"

(Apparently I have angered her. She also insists that she *does* have the money to buy a $1.4k suit right on the spot, but I am reeeeeeeeeeeally dubious about this claim.)

[XCashier]

"well um hm is wolf and hm is life size espeon and other pokemon?"

Me: Sorry, I have no idea what you're trying to ask.

"HM STANDS FOR HOW MUCH!"

(Apparently I have angered her. She also insists that she *does* have the money to buy a $1.4k suit right on the spot, but I am reeeeeeeeeeeally dubious about this claim.)

Good grief. How the heck are you supposed to know what "hm" stands for?! It looks like she wrote "him" without the vowel, and considering how illegible the rest of her typing is, it's far more likely than it being an abbreviation.

And what's with the attitude? If she wants a werewolf costume so badly, she should make one herself! Maybe then she'll figure out that a person needs more than 24 hours notice.

I think you should spare yourself further headaches and block this fool. Have her e-mails sent straight to the recycle bin. You do not need this stress. Lack of planning (and coherency) on her part is not an emergency on yours.

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

"hey i was wonderin if u could make a werewolf costume for me im a girl by tomorow please im in trouble i need ur help im begging u!!!!!"

This solicitation of a business transaction brought to you by Bella D. Imbecile, sophomore, Alfred E. Neumann High School.

It's her best essay yet, but this is her sixth crack at the tenth grade.

[MoonCat]

WTF does she need a werewolf costume for to sing "This is Halloween?" There wasn't any major character in Nightmare Before Christmas that was a werewolf--I'm not sure there was even any werewolf in that movie. With a little imagination and some effort she could have pulled together a Sally costume. But that would have required advance planning.

Oh, well, doesn't matter. There's no way you're going to make her a werewolf costume in one night and get it delivered in time as well.

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

There's whole groups on Farcebook devoted to the fact that "dis isnt skool y dose it mater"... They like to think that you should only write "properly" if you're being graded on it; the fact that continual use will make it easier to remember doesn't seem to be a consideration.

Because--and this may be hard for those people to get through their heads, so they'll need to follow me closely here--there are situations other than school where it benefits one to not communicate in a way that cuts one's IQ in half with a samurai sword.

Former editor here *. I would like to teach this girl about punctuation other than exclamation points.

Lesson 1:

Punctuation marks other than the exclamation point do exist!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111111eleventy-eleven onety-one111111!!!!!!

Okay, Sweetheart, that will do for now, I should think. We'll just let that permeate your brai- uh, head for now, and we'll see each other in a week.

*Yes, I know that "Former editor here" is not a sentence. Shut up.

For your next lesson I suggest a comprehensive review on capital and lower-case letters, and when they should and shouldn't be used.

[spark]

I think you should spare yourself further headaches and block this fool. Have her e-mails sent straight to the recycle bin. You do not need this stress. Lack of planning (and coherency) on her part is not an emergency on yours.

I might, but I am having too much fun with the further messages.

She is now asking "hm is this?" on half my gallery.

Oh and after I told her TWICE that I wasn't taking new costume commissions in any case, she said "Awwww oh well ill have my aunt do it."

Except that she said she needed it tomorrow yesterday? So her aunt had better sew very fast, because there's not a lot of today left!

[Crossbow]

Except that she said she needed it tomorrow yesterday? So her aunt had better sew very fast, because there's not a lot of today left!

Apparently her aunt got a hold of a time machine somewhere....

[Seshat]

WTF does she need a werewolf costume for to sing "This is Halloween?" There wasn't any major character in Nightmare Before Christmas that was a werewolf--I'm not sure there was even any werewolf in that movie.

There was: one, and minor. Didn't even get a special line in the "This is Halloween" song.

[Moosenogger]

She must think you have pre-made suits in a back room somewhere. Though, I don't see how "I'm a girl" gives you a good idea of her measurements.

[Kogarashi]

Yeah, I think I'll file this one under "Clearly clueless about how this all works and thinks you can just 'whip one up.'"

Heaven help my younger cousins/nieces and nephews/children/etc. if they ever type like this. Bad enough my preschooler mumbles.

I'm not sure there was even any werewolf in that movie.

There was: one, and minor. Didn't even get a special line in the "This is Halloween" song.

Exactly. You can see him in Halloweentown throught the movie in a ripped plaid shirt, as I recall.

Apparently her aunt got a hold of a time machine somewhere....

And she's obviously not sharing.