Tomato Terror

[customersruinmylife]

Can you guys tell I’m full time at the pub again?

Rare but Well Done

Customer orders two steaks.

SC: And can you make them as rare as you possibly can?
Me: So would you like them blue?
SC: Maybe just a little bit more than blue. But we love our steaks rare.
Me: No problem.

Their food goes out. About fifteen minutes later, he walked up to the bar carrying the two plates with an angry look on his face. I freaking hate it when customers bring their plates up to the bar to complain. It is seriously embarassing. I don’t understand why they can’t just flag down a member of the floor crew.

SC: These steaks have gone cold in the middle!
Me: Well sir, they did go out fifteen minutes ago and they were very, very rare.
SC: They need to go back on the grill for longer! They are very red!
Me: So how would you like them to look?
SC: Fully cooked!
Me: So well done then?
SC: No! Rare but fully cooked!
Me: I don’t understand what you’re asking for.
SC: Just cook them properly.

I took them to the kitchen and told them to do them well done. The customer later described them as “perfect”

Waste Not

A group of six people came in and ordered meals. All was fine. About ten minutes later, two more people arrived and joined their table. They walked up to the bar and ordered food.

SC: And we would like our meals to come out at the exact same time as the rest of our party.
Me: I’ll have to go and check for you. The rest of your group ordered ten minutes ago, so it’s likely that their meals are almost ready.

I went into the kitchen, and sure enough their meals were pretty much done.

Me: I’m sorry, but we won’t be able to get them out at the same time. The other six meals are complete and ready to go.
SC: Well that’s not good enough! We want to eat together!
Me: I could leave them under the heat lamp...
SC: And have them go bad? No. You’ll just have to start them again from fresh!
Me: I’m sorry, but I am not going to ask the kitchen to throw away SIX perfectly good meals for that reason.
SC: But we want to eat at the same time!
Me: The rest of your group never mentioned that you were coming.
SC: We were running a little late!

While he was arguing with me, a floor co-worker had already begun taking the six meals out, which were accepted.

Me: Well I’m sorry, but that’s not our fault. I will not waste that much food because you were late.
SC: But-
Me: Plus the rest of your group are already eating. You’d better order quick.
SC: Fine!

Tomato Terror

I took a burger meal out to a couple. Everything about them seemed to be ordinary. I placed the meal down and suddenly the man jumped like I had just put a live scorpion down in front of him. He let out a squeal and backed away from the burger like it was going to attack him.

SC: Ohmygodohmygodohmygod! Nooooooooooo!
Me: Is everything OK? What’s the matter?
SC: There’s a t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-TOMATO in my burger!
Me: Yes...
SC: Takeitawayohmygodgetridofit! Noooooo!
Wife: Honey, it’s OK. It’s just a tomato.
SC: No! No! Get rid of it! Why have you done this to me?
Me: The menu does state that our burgers come with tomatoes.
SC: But I HATE TOMATOES!

I took the burger back to the kitchen, took out the tomato and threw it in the bin. I took it back to their table, and they were completely calm and ordinary again.

Bean Allergy

The kitchen got very busy. A lady came to order.

SC: I want the pasta meal, but it contains beans and I’m allergic. Can you make it without the beans?
Me: I’m really sorry, but that particular meal is pre-made earlier in the day. The beans will already be mixed in the pasta.
SC: Well you’re just going to have to go through the whole lot and pick them out, aren’t you??
Me: The kitchen is very busy, I don’t think they have the time to go through the whole lot and pick out beans.
SC: They’re just going to have to!
Me: I’m not going to ask them to do that. You have an allergy and if they miss one then who would be to blame?
SC: God! I’m not really allergic! I just don’t like them!
Me: I’m still not going to ask them to pick them out. They’re too busy.
SC: Fine! I’ll order it as it comes! But I’m not going to enjoy it!

It took all my strength not to say “Is that a threat?”

Shouty Shout

A middle aged man came to the bar.

Me: Hi there, what can I get you.
SC: A PINT OF LAGER!
Me: *jumps* OK, sure.
SC: GOD! I AM SO ANNOYED! I CAN’T BELIEVE THE DAY I’M HAVING!
Me: *slightly alarmed* OK.
SC: MY NEIGHBOUR CALLED THE POLICE ON ME! SHE THINKS I’M WATCHING HER THROUGH HER WINDOWS! I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS!
Me: Ok sir.
SC: I’VE NEVER BEEN IN TROUBLE WITH THE POLICE BEFORE IN MY LIFE! AND THERE I AM, BEING TREATED LIKE A SEX PEST!
Me: That’s awful.
SC: I AM NOT A SEX PEST!
Me: OK sir. You don’t need to shout though.
SC: I’M NOT SHOUTING!!!!!!!

He spotted a friend.

SC: JIM! JIM! YOU WON’T BELIEVE THE DAY I’M HAVING!!!

He repeated the whole conversation at the top of his lungs.

[RealUnimportant]

Oh boy, you really do get 'em!

[veniteangeli]

Bean Allergy
SC: God! I’m not really allergic! I just don’t like them!

As someone with actual allergies, I despise people who do this. If you don't like something, just say so. Or don't order it. Don't feign an allergy and trivialize the issue for the rest of us who are actually in real danger from consuming our respective allergens.

It's almost as bad as people who pretend to be diabetic so they can get seated quicker. PEOPLE. STOP FAKING MEDICAL CONDITIONS YOU DO NOT HAVE.

[Snowbird]

As someone with actual allergies, I despise people who do this. If you don't like something, just say so. Or don't order it. Don't feign an allergy and trivialize the issue for the rest of us who are actually in real danger from consuming our respective allergens.

It's almost as bad as people who pretend to be diabetic so they can get seated quicker. PEOPLE. STOP FAKING MEDICAL CONDITIONS YOU DO NOT HAVE.

Agreed. I have a shellfish allergy and get a little panicky if I think some has been cooked on the same grill as my food, let alone immersed in it. I don't think picking the beans out would've been effective at all.

As for Shouty McShouterson, I kind of wonder if he is going deaf. Heaven forbid someone suggest hearing aids, though!

[Mr Hero]

SC: God! I’m not really allergic! I just don’t like them!

That answers my first question. Next question: Does she like George Wendt?

SC: MY NEIGHBOUR CALLED THE POLICE ON ME! SHE THINKS I’M WATCHING HER THROUGH HER WINDOWS! I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS!

I EVEN SAW HER PICKING UP THE PHONE AND DIALING!

[cinema guy]

Can you guys tell I’m full time at the pub again?

Oh yes.

SC: And can you make them as rare as you possibly can?
...
Me: So how would you like them to look?
SC: Fully cooked!
Me: So well done then?
SC: No! Rare but fully cooked!

Rare: "You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means."

[Crossbow]

Can you guys tell I’m full time at the pub again?

Oh, dear lord, can we ever.

SC: No! Rare but fully cooked!

Brain is officially derailed. Personally, I would have given them 'medium.' It's right between Rare and Fully Ruined Cooked.

SC: And have them go bad? No. You’ll just have to start them again from fresh!

Sure, and they'll have to pay for a second set of meals. Or, more likely, you will, since you're the one demanding a second order. Enjoy your bill!

Tomato Terror

Methinks somebody was traumatized as a child by watching Attack of the Killer Tomatoes far too late at night with the lights off... And was then attacked by a big brother/sister with a ketchup bottle.




Why yes, I am feeling a little snarky this morning. What gave it away?

[AmbrosiaWriter]

I'm lucky enough that I don't have any allergies that would make me go into anaphylactic shock, just a few minor ones (like cilantro, and one of the waxes that many pills use to suspend the medicine/vitamins.)

Having said that, I wouldn't have allowed her to order it at all if she claimed to be allergic to beans (that would make her allergic to legumes?) I'd be too worried about the severity of her allergy, and that the beans even having contact with the pasta would cause her to go into shock or break out in hives. Not something the pub needs to deal with.

And for the love of all the Holy Emperor of Mankind, when I was FIVE I was aware enough that if McD's (or any restaurant) put pickles (which I hate) on my burger, I just lift the bun, pluck the pickles out, give them to my brother to eat, then proceed to nom away. At FIVE.

[fireheart]

Methinks somebody was traumatized as a child by watching Attack of the Killer Tomatoes far too late at night with the lights off... And was then attacked by a big brother/sister with a ketchup bottle.

Or watched a little too much of this?

[thansal]

My step mum is actually allergic to tomatoes, so the for her, it really is attack of the killer tomatoes, and was thus my first assumption for the tomato idiot, just that he doesn't know how to handle behaving in public.

[XCashier]

And for the love of all the Holy Emperor of Mankind, when I was FIVE I was aware enough that if McD's (or any restaurant) put pickles (which I hate) on my burger, I just lift the bun, pluck the pickles out, give them to my brother to eat, then proceed to nom away. At FIVE.

And undoubtedly you were also aware that Drama Queen histrionics over unwanted foodstuffs wouldn't fly with your family. Too bad Tomato Man isn't that aware.

[Catwoman2965]

As someone with actual allergies, I despise people who do this. If you don't like something, just say so. Or don't order it. Don't feign an allergy and trivialize the issue for the rest of us who are actually in real danger from consuming our respective allergens.

It's almost as bad as people who pretend to be diabetic so they can get seated quicker. PEOPLE. STOP FAKING MEDICAL CONDITIONS YOU DO NOT HAVE.

I don't have any allergies but I detest walnuts. So if I'm looking a cookie or brownie, I will ask if they have nuts. When they say they aren't sure, I will say ok, and choose something else. I've been asked, oh, are you allergic? NOpe, but I'm perfectly happy with someting else if what I wanted has nuts since they're gross

[Crossbow]

Or watched a little too much of this?

OMG! I haven't seen that in decades! Wow, thanks for reviving part of my childhood.

(No, it wasn't a good show. But I'm an animation freak.)

I don't have any allergies but I detest walnuts. So if I'm looking a cookie or brownie, I will ask if they have nuts. When they say they aren't sure, I will say ok, and choose something else. I've been asked, oh, are you allergic? NOpe, but I'm perfectly happy with someting else if what I wanted has nuts since they're gross

My wife and I always ask if they're "boy brownies" or "girl brownies." It either gets a laugh or a very confused look.

[AmbrosiaWriter]

And undoubtedly you were also aware that Drama Queen histrionics over unwanted foodstuffs wouldn't fly with your family. Too bad Tomato Man isn't that aware.

Actually, what's pretty funny about the situation as I was (and still kind of am) a very picky eater. It's due to a very sensitive, and specific taste palette. If I didn't want something I just wouldn't eat it, and at a young age learned how to make particular things I knew I would eat (sandwiches, mac and cheese with supervision.)

I know I frustrated the heck out of my mom at times, but I wasn't really a fit thrower. It was probably a combination of my temperament combined with knowing that if I threw a fit my dad would throw me.

So even if you are picky, no need to throw a hiss-fit. I bet Tomato Wife was embarrassed at his reaction. Especially because it was just a "I DON'T LIKE THEM" rather than "I'll die if I eat them."

[Brojekk]

I EVEN SAW HER PICKING UP THE PHONE AND DIALING!

I almost broke rule #1 just now